Kindness Tree and Mindfulness

 Friends, I am so excited to share with you this week's mindfulness. My favorite mindfulness is called Metta, or Loving Kindness.

 World Kindness Day is just around the corner, November 13. (Let's make Friday the 13th kind...not scary!)

I encourage you to take some time to look between my office and Sandy's office. I have created a Kindness Tree. The idea is that you and your students take a leaf from the tree and GIVE it to someone else. Share the kindness. 

The idea of sharing kindness connects to our mindfulness this week. Metta or Loving Kindness mindfulness is a form of meditation that sends positive wishes to ourselves and others.

The best way to start this kind of mindfulness is to teach our students to send loving kindness to themselves. Ask your students to close their eyes (if comfortable) and take a deep breathe in. As they breath in ask them to bring to mind a wish for themselves. 

EX: Today I wish for myself a day filled with calm. Today I wish for myself a productive and focused day.

Encourage them to hold this thought in their heads as they hold their breath. Then as they breathe out they release the wish, sending it to themselves.

I encourage you to do this the first day you introduce this mindfulness. Next is introducing loving kindness for those we love and care for.

This is a good to send a loving kind thought to those we love. Again, asking your students to close their eyes (always if they are comfortable, or have them look down and find one focus point). As they breathe in they can pick the person they want to send kindness too. Then as they hold their breath they can think of the kind wish they want to send. Lastly, they will release their breath and send the wish out to the person they picked.

The next step to learning Metta Mindfulness is the most challenging...for us all. I encourage YOU to take time to practice this step BEFORE you ask your students to practice.

The final step in Metta is sending loving kindness to those that challenge us, those we do not get along with, those that bother us, those we may not like, and those we do not want to send kindness too. 

This can be a challenge....BUT.... once you do it, it feels freeing. I love this practice for this very reason. 

As I mentioned last week, over the summer we ran into some housing road blocks. We had some family land being given to us...and then taken back due to a conflict in ideas. We had one family member placing demands on another and we were caught in the middle. The family member who placed the demands has been very cold and distant with us since this all came about. Deep down I want to be cold and distant. Deep down I want to give them a piece of my mind. 

This summer at the same time the housing issues arose, I was taking my Science of Well-Being class. One week our homework was to meditate. I tried a few meditations...and felt so unfocused. Then I found Metta on the app called Waking Up. It was what I needed at the moment. It was difficult. It was freeing.

I took time to really practice, to follow the steps, and to let go and send positive wishes. 

The family member continues to be cold and distant. I continue to take a deep breath and send loving kindness. I feel at peace. 

A few weeks ago during one of my 3-5 google meets we practiced Metta. The students shared that it was not easy but that it felt good to send positive wishes to others.

What if every morning you took time to send a positive wish to every student you work with? You would begin feeling a sense of peace toward those students. This would show in how you interact with the students, especially your most challenging. 

What if you taught your students to send loving kindness every morning? The more you practice the more you will see the students soften toward each other.

As you teach your students Metta Mindfulness, I encourage you to take a field trip to the kindness tree.

Remember November is Gratitude month...If you receive a leaf say, Thanks!

Thank you for taking the time to read and practice mindfulness with me! You're doing great!

The Mindful Way to Start a Day

 I have started this week's blog a few times now...and each time I was interrupted. I wanted to share about mindfulness and the brain. I wanted to talk about some students I've been working with this week and review how mindfulness helped one and how mindfulness could have helped the other. Each interruption this morning has frustrated me. I needed to step back and take some deep breaths. My dear friend in 4th grade has sent me a few more of her mindfulness videos. Leila and I just took five minutes to watch one and breathe deep. Leila did a great job. My 4th grade friend did an excellent job. And I now feel calm and more focused. I have also decided to change this week's blog.

This week I am going to get a little personal with you to share about my reasons for mindfulness. I hope that it helps you to see both sides of me. 

At school I try my best to always practice the peace I find from mindfulness. I don't simple tell students to practice, I practice with them. I show them and then we practice together. 

At home, this past month, I have needed my mindfulness. If I could give a reason to practice mindfulness, it would my month of October.

The end of September hit my family with some challenges we are facing in October. 

Our sweet cat (not our bad cat...) has cancer and we have to figure out what is best for her and if we have to say goodbye (she is only 10 and seriously the best cat).

Our daycare has closed down due to the owner's husband having cancer. That C word, again! We were told it would be for the month of October so we quickly enlisted grandmothers for all the days we could and with great compassion my wonderful dean and principal let me change up schedule to ensure my sweet Leila is cared for daily. Now as we near the end of October I have concerns. What if they can't reopen in November? What if...? So now I reluctantly have called daycare after daycare in the hopes one will have an opening. 

My 9-year-old step-daughter was recently diagnosed with a seizure disorder, most likely Sunflower Syndrome. When we were at the beach late August a stranger noticed Madison's tic and shared that she has seen that before in children with this syndrome. Today Madison has her EEG and tomorrow will meet with the Neurologist. I have been in Madison's life since she was 3, she lives primarily with my husband (her dad) and me. I carry the medical insurance. I do all of the appointment scheduling....but today when I called regarding the e-checkin system I was told I couldn't have any information. I am not a "parent". In between Google Meets I am calling my husband to have him check his email (while he also tries to work) and I then do what I can from his email, and pass information between him and Madison's mom to ensure it's all set up and ready for this evening.

Over the summer our plans to build a home fell through. That is a long and complicated family drama story, but it's relevant to know as background. My husband is understandably upset with his father and step-mother. Then came August and my husbands (new...of less than 3 years) step-father asked if we would like to purchase his home. We jumped at the opportunity. Everything was going well until October. No joke, October has been a challenge and has presented the biggest need for mindfulness. Due to Covid, the company we were working with .... after weeks of paper work... informed us that there were BIG restrictions for us. With Covid, if you are 1099 (self-employed), this company has very strict and RIDICULOUS requirements. Now we are back to square one with the loan. Thankfully, my husband's step-dad is letting us renovate while the loan is processed. But that in itself is another stress that requires mindfulness.

If you are still will me, thank you for listening. I share all of this for nothing more than to give you a picture of the importance of mindfulness.  How could I possible process all of this, get up and work, and ensure family is cared for, if I don't slow down and take a good deep breath? I mean it. 100% mean that remembering to focus on the here and now, taking deep breaths, meditating, and prioritizing sleep (this one is HARD...my dear husband wants to talk about everything listed above while getting ready for bed, I have to be firm and say no, so I can sleep). 

Mindfulness must become a priority for us, for our students, for every day. If you take 10 minutes every morning to practice mindfulness, you could be help a student learn to process what is going on for them at home. 

We have students dealing with cancer in their homes. We have students dealing with hungry. We have students dealing with abuse. We have students dealing with loneliness. We have students dealing with isolation. We have students dealing with Covid fear. 

What if the 10 minutes a day you give them for mindfulness could help change their lives? 

 

Mindfulness Through the Ages

 Mindfulness is for ALL ages and all stages of life.

With infants its the adults mindfulness that matters. Your calm will be essential to ensure that you can handle the highs and lows of parenting.

Changing our brains to help others

As you move into toddlerhood mindfulness will help with tantrums and moods. I previously shared that I will often pick up Leila and hold her and take exaggerated deep breaths and this has shown to shorten meltdowns.

We are now working on mindfulness for Leila, per her request. Last week Leila found one of the mindfulness books I had home to read to students for my google classroom. She asked to read it and did such a wonderful job taking deep breaths. Since reading the book, when I say deep breath, Leila knows what I mean and takes a good deep breath.

Leila and My Magic Breath

The more we practice mindfulness the more our little ones see it and want to join in.

As we move into childhood we can continue to teach deep breathing and begin to build the concepts of mindfulness. We can share that mindfulness is; paying attention on purpose (without judgement and with curiosity) . This will help our younger students learn to listen to their bodies and moods and as they become aware they will do it in a positive way. They will learn to accept their feelings and show them in a way that does not harm themselves or others.

A Michigan Elementary School and Mindfulness 

Imagine a student that explodes. Imagine a student you have to have carried out of your class. Imagine a student that spends hours a day screaming. Imagine them screaming "give me what I want and this will stop." What if this student began to practice mindfulness and then turned around and chose to teach mindfulness skills to others? We have one such students. Those of us who have been on the journey with this young lady know the great distance this young girl has come. For those that are not as familiar, as you watch the video take a minute to think about a students who is difficult and presents challenges. What if that student could one day become like this young lady?

Jessa's Mindfulness

The older our students get the more their brains are changing. The brain is more generalized in childhood, ready to absorbed all the knowledge it can. As the brain grows into pre-teen and teen years it become more specific to interests. The changes can create challenges in how students learn. At this time mindfulness is crucial in order to help the youth learn to focus on a subject their brain may be signaling they are no longer as interested in as they previously had been. Mindfulness is a great opportunity to train the brain and emotions to work together instead in opposition.

Teens share about mindfulness 

We can takes 5-10 minutes a day to provide a safe space for our students to learn and grow in mindfulness. I have heard it over and over that there just isn't time in the day. How much time do you spend redirecting students in a given day? What if instead you used 10 minutes at the start of the day to teach students self-regulation and mindfulness? Perhaps students later in the day can learn to redirect themselves.

At our school we have a wonderful and easy to use program. I have shared it previously but it worth sharing again. Please sign up for Inner Explorer. If you cannot find the link I have sent, email me and ask for a new link. I will happily support you with getting started. 

At the beginning of the school year I talked about the idea of mental contrasting and using WOOP. It takes 5 minutes a morning to set a daily goal. 

I am working to grow a mindfulness library. I have some books, cards, and can always point you to a good video. Feel free to come to my office and explore ideas for your students. Don't forget that I myself am a resource and will happily come to your class and help you start your day the mindful way. 

Our Actions Can Un-Make A Bully

To Sir, With Love

Dangerous Minds

Freedom Writers

These are a few movies which often inspire adults to be great and work hard to have a lasting positive impact on the lives of youth.

Today, as we continue to use October to place a focus on bullying and it's lasting negative impact on the lives of our students, I want to introduce to some different videos, to inspire you. 

When we think about talking with our students about bullying, it is important to address the facts, statistics, and provide education on what bullying is and what it is not. It is equally as important to provide our students with way to stop bullies, stop bullying, and be an upstander. I would also argue that it is just as import for us, as adults to start the anti-bullying process by providing our students with a positive and caring atmosphere. 

Our students are young and many from challenging backgrounds. Our students may not know how to show empathy because no one has ever shown them empathy. 

Dr. Becky Bailey has a wonderful YouTube channel called Conscious Discipline. Dr. Bailey talks about how to interact with various age group to help overcome some of the home factors which create behavior concerns for our students. On her channel we are also introduced to a man by the name of DJ Batiste. DJ Batiste talks about going from gang to graduation. DJ shares about the one teacher who made a difference by simply showing him how important he was to her.

Dr. Bailey talks about how bullies are made from before the time they are born and how this then creates a path for their lives which needs a lot of caring people to help change the path.

How To Make A Bully 

In the link above Dr. Bailey walks through all of the stages a child travels through to create/make a bully. If you want more information, broken down by the age groups, check out her YouTube channel. The videos have great information and ideas on how to help students. 

In this next link DJ Batiste shares some of his story, as does the teacher who helped him change the direction of his life. DJ was a challenging young man who was a bully, DJ could easily be a student you see everyday. Do you know the student that is looking to challenge your authority, make you uncomfortable, and make sure that all eyes are on them and not you? I'm sure a face and name can come easily to mind. How do you handle this student's behaviors? Do you fall into the challenge and allow a power struggle to ensue? This is what the student is hoping to have happen. This student is often the bully in school. Bullies are looking to control and have power. Watch this next video to gain inspiration on ways to give those students what they need (power and control) in a healthy and helpful way.

DJ Batiste story

My hope for us all is that we take time to find ways to encourage our students, be a positive force in their lives, and help create an atmosphere that doesn't allow bullying to begin.

Conscious Discipline