Growing Our Emotional Vocabulary

Emotional Vocab Link

I found this resource recently and felt it was too good not to share. I love utilizing the Mood Meter and it works great, but there is always room for more tools in the toolbox. 

I like this wheel and how it breaks down feelings even more than the mood meter. Our Mood Meter helps us realize the intensity of an emotion and this wheel can help us with breaking down feelings into small categories. This could be helpful for our younger students. 

Helping our students identify a feeling empowers them to take ownership of that feeling.  When we share a common emotion language it becomes easier for all of us to identify feelings, support feelings, and either embrace or let go of feelings.

In my small groups I encourage students to explore the variety of emotions on the Mood Meter. I love when they read a word and ask what it means. This opens up a time of learning and exploration. I have observed that as we learn a new feeling word together more students use the word in the following days. The curiosity and growth of one student in my groups has helped increase the curiosity and growth of the others.

When we learn to identify an emotion in ourselves we are more likely to be able to identify it in others. This is true for our students. We can help them grow their empathy and compassion by teaching them emotional vocabulary. 

As we teach the words to connect to the feelings we also teach the students that all feels are real, valid, and important. The key is how we handle the emotion. As we teach the emotion we follow it up with the regulation of the emotion. We have heard the quote before, "Name it to tame it." 

Once you have helped a student name an emotion, work with them on regulation. Below is a TPT link to free emotional regulation resources.

TPT Emotional Regulation

The first resource has a great poster with pictures and words that display options regarding ways to regulate. The poster could be a great resource to print and place next to an emotion wheel or mood meter.

The third resource has a great activity for promoting affirmations. As we explore emotions we need to build up our students to help them have a full bucket. 

The ninth resource has a number of posters that could support a calm down space in your room. 

Number 13 has some feelings trackers. This could help students see the change in emotions over the course of a day and week.

As I scrolled through the resources I noticed ones for younger students as well as older students. Explore and find what is right for you. Feel free to also reach out to me and I can help you navigate these and other resources. 

I hope that you find some helpful information and start working to build a strong emotional vocabulary with your students. 

Empower the Progress

As we continue to move through the first month of a new year we may still be seeking change and growth. 

A couple of weeks ago we talked about setting a word to focus on for the year.

This week I want to explore the idea of changing behavior rather than focusing on an outcome when considering setting a goal.

When goal setting our brains need action-oriented change.

Adam Grant recently shared, in a social media post, that there have been 27 studies conducted regarding behavior change goals verse outcome goals. These studies have found that behavior change goals are 3x more effective than outcome goals. 

When we alter our actions, we grow.

Let's stop for a minute and see a couple of examples of outcome goals and behavior change goals.

Self:

Outcome Goal: Lose 5 pounds by February

Behavior Change: Work out 3-5 times a week. Each more fruit and vegetables. 

Student:

Outcome Goal: Students sits in seat

Behavior Change: Reduce times out of seat, fewer times up each day. Raise hand to get up.

The outcome focuses on the results we want to see. The behavior change gives us a process toward progress.

Studies have shown that when we set an outcome goal our brains do not have control of the situation. The outcome will either happen or it will not.

When we focus on behavior change we give our brains an action, control, and a path to follow.

Our brains love control. Behavior change goals give our brains that control. This control empowers us. When we feel empowered we are more likely to have success with our behavior change and will reach our goal.

When we set outcome goals we lose motivation when we do not see the outcome. That 5 pounds by February doesn't happen and we begin to lose motivation and the effort slips. 

On the flip side, we set a goal to work out 3-5 times a week and eat better and we are able to see our weekly progress. One week its three days and the next five. We make sure to add a fruit or vegetable to every meal. We feel positive, motivated, and we continue because we are doing it.

Helping a student keep track of times out of a seat. Having them track and see that they are reducing the amount. This will become the motivator for them to keep going and working each day. If they only see that they did not reach the outcome of staying in their seat, they will begin to feel defeated when they are unable to complete this task. They will think, "I didn't do it today, why try tomorrow." However, if they see the number of times out of seat go down and the times they raised their hand go up they will feel empowered by success.

Can you think of an outcome goal you could turn into a behavior change? One for yourself. One for a student in need of help with making positive changes. 

We can use this new year to find small changes to have big successes. Small daily behavior changes to help move us forward toward success. 

Make the Day Count, Count Your Contributions

If you have ever sat in on one of my introduction mindfulness lessons than it is no surprise to you that I love Adam Grant and implement his research findings into my life.

Adam Grant has shared that he always asks his children who they help each day.

I do the same, but I add an extra question.

1. Who did you help today?

2. Who helped you?

I want my daughter to be the helper but also know who the other helpers are in her world. I want her to be someone who contributes to life. But I also want her to know that it is not weak to ask for help or accept help.

Over the last few years psychologist Adam Grant and Jane Dutton have continued to research the topic of contributions. In fact their research findings show that counting our contributions not (just) gratitude/blessings makes us more motivated and less passive.

Quick Adam Grant Video

Gratitude, while a great thing to have and count is considered passive. It isn't our actions or abilities but rather what others are doing for us, the good happening to us.

Contributions on the other hand is active. It asks us what we have done for others and gets us thinking of ways to continue to support others.

As I did the research on this topic I couldn't help but think that this concept has been around longer than we think. President Kennedy once said " Ask not what your country can do for you- ask what you can do for your country."

Ask what you can do, not what can be done for you.

When we stop to ask what we have contributed to the day we see if we are a helper and if people can rely on us.

This is a good lesson for us as adults but also for our students. As I said, I ask my daughter daily who she helped. I love her answers. Most days she says she didn't help anyone, however, as she talks more about her day I find times she was a helper and she didn't even realize it.

 I will point it out and she will act like "of course I did that mom, who wouldn't?" and I ask if she has seen anyone else help in that way and then she will think and say no or say that maybe one or two others. 

This week she told me, no she didn't help anyone then she remembered that she told a friend to watch out because they were about to close their own hand in a door. The friend wasn't paying attention and quickly moved their hand. 

Be a helper. Contribute. Don't just take.

Research tells us that when we become a contributor we have more prosocial behavior which leads to better mental health. Helping others has been known to reduce stress, improve mood, and elevate self-esteem and happiness. 

The prosocial behavior also helps build a community, connections, prevents loneliness and isolation, and increases optimism and satisfaction. 

When we help others we strengthen our mental health, build up our community, and lead ourselves to living a more satisfied life.

We can give our students opportunities to contribute. Give classroom jobs. Lead by example. 

 Ask yourself each day how you contributed to betterment of the day.

Ask your students if they feel they have made a positive contribution to the day.

Word of the Year

Come January 1st many people set New Years Resolutions. Studies show that by mid-February those resolutions are abandoned. 

Research shows that new years resolutions often lead to something known as False Hope Syndrome. False hope syndrome is the unfulfilled expectations of self-change. We set a resolution. We believe we will commit to it and follow through. We believe we will experience great change. We may even start strong.

 As we begin we have a false sense that change will happen immediately. We don't see the pounds fall off. We don't feel more rested after going to bed earlier. We sneak and eat an unhealthy snack and feel like a failure. We have a false hope that change happens quick and will make us happy right away. 

And when we feel we have failed, we give up.

Instead of creating a large, abstract, long, and seemingly impossible resolution, let's goal set. 

Goal setting has been found to foster social connection.

Setting a goal triggers the release of dopamine. 

Goals give us purpose and motivation (intrinsic motivation). 

Goals give the fresh start effect. The fresh start effect motivates individuals to pursue aspirational goals. 

The best way to goal set it to make the goal clear and specific.

To help our students (and ourselves) goal set for 2026 I am attaching a worksheet you can utilize. The picture below is an example.

This goal sheet is about picking a word for the year. This is a simple goal. A word you want to focus on, embody, and strive for in 2026.

By using one word we have a simple and strait forward goal. 

This activity helps explore a word, the meaning of the word, and why that word is being picked. This activity creates depth and understanding. When this activity is done as group we then create the social connection. 

Below is a link to the my word of 2026 page. I have also linked a page that has a list of character traits, which could be used to help with finding a word. You could use that page or work as a class to compile a list of your own words that could become the years focus.

My Word of 2026

Character Traits

What is your word of the year?

Joy For Others

 Schadenfredue is a word used in German to describe the feeling of joy in others misfortune.

Envy is wanting the joy and fortune of others.

Freudenfreude is the joy in the good fortune and joy of others.

Mudita in Buddhism is the unselfish, appreciative, sympathetic joy in others joy.

Where are you on our joy scale?

---Schadenfredue---Envy---Freudenfreude---Mudita---

At various times in our lives we may find there is not much joy. When this happens we become defensive of our feelings of sadness, loneliness, and feeling left out of joy we notice others are experiencing. We even begin to become envious of others joy and then become upset and angry with them for displaying joy. We may even want to find a way to stop their joy, are at least stop them from showing joy when we are around.

During the holiday season these feelings can grow. We want the gift someone else received. We envy the holiday outfit. We want the their holiday treats. We become annoyed with the joy they display that we do not feel. We become the Grinch.

We do not have to be the Grinch. We can utilize psychology and train our brains to seek out joy in others and celebrate that joy.

In a recent Psychology Today article the idea of cultivating joy in others joy was discussed. The author talked about missing out last month when the Northern Lights were visible. She spoke on feeling envy as she scrolled social media and saw pictures and posts. Then she came across a post where someone shared that their 92-year-old neighbor saw the lights for the first time in her life. The envy slid away and was replaced with spontaneous joy. She felt such a great joy for this older woman that her envy no longer mattered.

Envy is a normal human emotion. Our brains are drawn to comparison. We have to look for and find joyful things to pull us from envy to joy for others joy.

Studies show that appreciative joy is related to increased subjective well-being. People who take time to find joy in others joy report increased feelings of cooperation, altruism, and reduced envy.

In today's society social media drives social comparison. Social comparison diminishes how we see our own lives, our own success, and creates a situation where we under value our lives. We begin to underappreciate ourselves due to the envy we feel toward others. 

There is a mindfulness we can engage in to help us not simply feel joy for others at random but rather help us seek out joy and actively engage in freudenfreude and mudita.

Each day hold space for joy.

Make it a goal to begin looking around you to find joy. People watch. Engage more with others. Ask questions and listen. Be attentive to others joy.

Express the joy out loud. It might be directly to the person you are joyful for or it might be to yourself when you observe a scene of joy. 

Look for the evidence of joy and express the gratitude that you were able to see it or hear about it. Be present and grateful for being included in the joyful moment.

Spread the joy. Share with others what you observed or heard about. Keep the joy flowing. 

Be grateful that others have the opportunity to experience joy. Be joyful toward them and for them. Truly experience the awe of their joy.

Did someone finally get that amazing gift they have always wanted?

Did someone show a photo of a new pet?

Is someone planning an amazing trip?

Can you hold space in your day to experience joy for them and with them? Be joyful in a way that shows others that you want them to be happy and have joy. 

Don't let your envy steal the joy of others. Take time to bask in the glow of the joy others are experiencing. Be joyful. It's good for your brain. 

The more you practice this mindfulness the better you will become at it and you will enjoy the feeling of joy for others. 

It's the Most Mindful Time of the Year....at least it should be

As the holiday break approaches we may see more behaviors that are disruptive. Our students may not be equipped to process all of their emotions. In the past we have explored the neuro science of emotions. We have talked about the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala. We all know by now that the prefrontal cortex continues to develop until around the age 25. The prefrontal cortex is our wise choices brain. It is that part of our brain that tells us to stop, don't do that! Just because it isn't fully developed doesn't mean we cannot help our students strength and grow the prefrontal cortex. That's where mindfulness comes in.

The holiday season can create opportunities for connections, love, and fun. This time of year can also create opportunities for sadness, loneliness, anger, frustration, and general bah humbug. 

We can utilize mindful mediation to calm the brain and bring small moments of peace and understanding.

This week I wanted to link a past blog that can help guide us through the season. I also wanted to share a video on the science behind mediation and the brain.

Previous Christmas Blog

If you haven't started Inner Explorer with your students now is the time. Give it a go. Take 5-10 minutes a day to engage in mindfulness with your students. Listen, engage, and reflect. This will help your students. This will help you.

This time of year is not all lights, love, and laughter. We all need a few minutes a day to calm down, reset, and promote brain health.

Take a few minutes today to engage in mindfulness. 

Remember to support yourself and your students through the holiday season in a mindful way.

Calling You Up to Your Best

I stumbled across Ryan Dunlap's videos this week and I am hooked. Ryan is a conflict strategist and he has a lot of good insight for us to reflect on.

The first video I have included is the first video I found. I liked the idea of call people Up not Out. Reminding ourselves, our coworkers, and especially our students that we know they can do better, we have seen them do better, and we expect better. This is so much more effective than to point out the wrong choices over and over again. Our brains already focus on the negative, they do not need more help being negative. Our brains need just the opposite, they need someone to point out and reflect on the positive. 

The next time you have a student act out, instead of jumping to "why would you do that?" try, "I know that you can sit down, I've seen you sit quietly yesterday, can we try it again today, your current behavior confuses me and I feel sad when you make poor choices."

The second video is about anger. 

This time of year students who may know the holiday season will not be a happy one may begin to present as angry. 

I often have students try to tell me that they did their actions because of their "anger issues." I stop that runaway train thought and bring it back to what else is going on. This is what Ryan does with his explanation of anger.

Ryan explains that anger is a secondary emotion. I love his analogy of it being the fruit not the root. Your anger isn't anchoring you but rather it is the product of something else going on in your life. What is another good reason why you are feeling this way. He tells us to ask ourselves is it hurt we are really feeling; is it fear, or something else that is now coming out as anger.

AN another G good R reason Y why

What is another good reason I am feeling angry? What else happened? What is going on inside?

I feel that as we navigate these next couple of weeks before break it is a great idea to reflect on the ways we can support our students. 

Can we help them explore what feelings are under the anger they are displaying? 

Can we help them control their actions by calling them up and not out?