Let's Get Started

Have you ever had a difficult time starting a new task?

I know I have. There are weeks I struggle with an idea for this blog. If I do not have a clear idea it becomes a struggle mentally to begin. I become unsure where to start and the idea of starting becomes daunting. This is a real brain struggle called Task Paralysis. Our brains struggle to start a new task.

Initiating a task takes extra energy from our brains. Our brains will resist beginning a new task, especially if the task is unclear, or seems to be boring or emotionally loaded. The brain will protect it's resources and energy and work against your motivation to begin a new task.

This concept is true for all brains and is even more predominate in neurodivergent brains, such as those with ADHD.

When we consider our brains grow until about age 25, and the last part that finishes growing is the Prefrontal Cortex, we can see why starting a new task can be difficult.

Our prefrontal cortex is in charge of planning, initiating, and motivating our wise choices. We often feel lower motivation when we do not utilize our prefrontal cortex. When we are looking at a task from the view of our Amaygdala we run emotional choices and may experience fear of failure. 

There is good news for our brains and the brains of our students. We can engage in small changes to help build a greater ability to begin a task.

Before we even begin a task we can start by setting the bar lower. Make your goal to start the task, not to finish the task. Give grace. When you start a difficult task, be proud. When a student starts a task, give praise. 

Then to start we can look at a task and make it smaller. Our students would benefit from this as well. Take a task and tell the students only a little about the task at time. 

Make the room comfortable and not confronting. Use soft music, soft light, and alternative seating. Sometimes we all need our environment to change to help us make a change.

There is a creative idea called Body Doubling. This is asking someone to sit by us to help keep us on task. They become our motivation. We are less likely to be distracted when we have someone "watching" us as a support. 

We can also use the 5 Minute Rule. Give yourself, or your students, a five minute timer and ask them to do as much as they can in 5 minutes and then stop. Don't keep going. Take a break. When our brains have a clear stopping point they are more likely to start since they know they can stop.

When I was in high school my senior year English teacher taught in what he called "short bursts". He would tell us that the next task would take 15 minutes and 23 seconds, give or take, and then we would have a 2 minutes and 37 second break. We knew that as long as we stayed focused for those first 15 minutes and 23 seconds we could get up, sharpen pencils, talk to a friend, use the bathroom, or stretch for those next 2 minutes and 37 seconds.

We can work with our brains to support our efforts, motivation, and determination. Help your brain start and it will keep going!

What are the ways you find motivates your brain? Share those tips and tricks with your students.

Plan to Find out Who You Are

 In her book Daring Greatly, Brene Brown shares, " What we know matters, but who we are matters more."

Knowing who we are is not as easy a task as one might think. It involves being able to be reflective and have courage.

In her book Brown tells us that knowing who we are takes courage to show up for ourselves and courage to let others see our authentic selves. Knowing who we are involves being vulnerable.

Through Brown we also learn that knowing who we are relates to being a safe person who is consistent and kind in all relationships. 

As we explore who we are we learn that it is more about how we treat others than what we achieve. Knowing who you are is about your compassion; empathy in action. 

This idea also relates back to our blog from January 16th when we talked about Adam Grant's idea about listing our contributions to the day.

Who you are comes from how you help better the day be better and how you treat others.

How do we go about cultivating this in ourselves and our students? 

I created a Daily Mindfulness worksheet we can use to help us and our students start and end the day building character and begin exploring who they are in a deeper way.

Link to worksheet

This mindfulness daily planner can help us check in with ourselves. We can begin to explore who we are and how we want to show that each day. 

This worksheet helps track mood as the day begins, setting our intention for the day, listing gratitude, and then sending three wishes. I like this last part because it stretches us to truly consider the questions related to being a safe, consistent, and compassionate person. It asks the question "Am I courageous enough to send a well wish to someone I do not like?" 

As we have explored, Brene Brown states that who we are relates to how we treat others and the compassion we have for them. The way we treat others shows our inner character, our integrity.

This worksheet can help us with our personal growth and create authentic connections with others by sharing our reflections. This will take another step of courage. Sharing is a vulnerable act that is not easy but helps us continue to build a kind character. 

The worksheet is two parts; morning and afternoon. It could be seen as a check in/check out system for who we are each day.

The afternoon reflections asks us to consider how we contributed to the day. What we noticed that day. How we feel as we wrap up the day. 

This worksheet is a great way to train our brains to focus on the positive, explore who we are, and set up our day for success.

Self-Regulation

 Self- Regulation. 

Psychotherapist Jennifer L. Hartstein defines self-regulation as, "It is the ability to effectively manage one's behavior and reactions in a variety of situations." 

This is not something that we are born knowing how to do. It takes guidance, practice, and the help of others, to build the skill.

Self-regulation utilizes the prefrontal cortex. As we have talked about in the past, this part of the brain is the last to develop and typically is not fully developed until age 25.

Our prefrontal cortex is tied to impulse control and planning. Since it is underdeveloped in our students we will see a lack of or limited ability to plan and control impulses. 

We need to take time to work with our students on self-regulation and build the skills. We can help these skills be built into their brains as they grow.

Children often do things without thinking and when asked why they did something they may not have an answer. This is not an avoidance of addressing their behavior but rather the truth, due to the stage of brain growth. Our students who have been diagnosed with ADHD, autism, and anxiety have an even harder time with impulse control. They will also struggle more with knowing why they acted the way they did.

We have tools to help our students learn self-regulation. We can help our students slow down, learn to think before they act, and regulate their feelings and behaviors.

Here is a list of ways to begin to show and teach your students self-regulation skills.

1. Break things down. Taking a challenging subject/activity and break it down into small more manageable steps. This builds in time to think and regulate.

2. Validate feelings. We can let a child know their behavior was unacceptable while also letting them know their feelings are valid. EX: "You are allowed to feel angry when someone hurts your feelings. You are not allowed to throw chairs to express that anger." 

3. Take a Break. Cool off. Brain breaks. Walks. Deep breathing. Pause (like we talked about last week).

4. Mindfulness. Teaching mindfulness skills at any age is helpful for self-regulation. The younger we start and the more consistent we are, the more skills our students will have.

5. Calm Yourself First. Fire doesn't stop fire. You can't both be hot. If a student's emotions are elevated you need to check your emotions and ensure they are not elevated as well. Invite them to your calm. Do not join their chaos. 

6. Be realistic with expectations. The younger the child the less impulse control. The older the child (if they have been at Fortis long enough) the more mindfulness and self-regulation they have been taught. Set expectations based on age and knowledge of the child (ie: ADHD, Autism, etc)

7. Celebrate Success. Let students know when they have done well with self-regulation. This helps them know what to do next time, reenforces the right path, and lets them know you see them doing well.

Make sure you regulate your own emotions first. 

Remember what we learned at back to school pd, QTIP...quit taking it personally. 

Be the calm they need. 

Be the calm you want to see.

Pause

This week I came across a quote that stood out to me. It said, "If you do not overcome your problems, you will be overcome by your problems."

Our students do not know how to overcome their problems on their own. If we are honest with ourselves, many adults do not know how to maturely overcome problems. If we allow ourselves to be overcome by our problems we become stuck and this can lead to unhelpful choices.

Teaching ourselves and our students to take a mindful pause can help build inner strength.

Below is a video I encourage you to take some time to watch. Take a few minutes to think about the different you can make by teaching children to pause.

There is a lot of outer noise in our lives. We cannot always quiet that noise. There is often inner noise that we can be overcome by and we react to without thought. We need a pause.

Taking a mindful pause allows us the space to think, evaluate, and reflect. 

Remember to pause, listen, rest, breathe, and reflect. Engaging in this practice and teaching this practice can help us to have and know a place of calm. The Mindful Pause is a place of calm. It is a place to reflect and think before acting or speaking. It matters.