Keep Our Feelings Our Own

Take some time to read the Adam Grant quote....and then read it again! Our bad days should not hurt another person. When I talk with students about their feelings I always tell them something very similar. 

I say: You can invite others to your feelings. Asking them to help care for them or carry them. You should never throw your feelings at someone else. We do not have the right to force our feelings on others. We can only ask them to join us where we are at.

If you are having a bad day remember that it is your bad day, not someone elses. I would also challenge you to evaluate the feeling and see where it is coming from. It most likely isn't a bad day, but rather a moment that triggered the emotions of hurt, anger, frustration, confusion, annoyance, etc.

As adults we have a better ability understand and process our feelings. We need to take extra time and extra care with all of our students. Their frontal lobes are still forming. The Prefrontal Cortex is still developing. We need to notice the emotions of our students and not be afraid to step in and step up to their needs. 

Some feelings are easier than others to assess and address. When we have the tools and take the time we become emotion superheroes to our students.

One of the best ways to start learning to recognize the emotions of your students to start with your own. 

This week I challenge you to take time to identify your own emotions as they arise. Research into the brain has taught us that when we take time to say the feeling we are experiencing we actually interrupt the feeling.

Our brains are designed to utilize various parts alone. When we have our Amygdala engaged (our feelings, especially Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Faint) we can no longer engage our Prefrontal Cortex. To help assess an emotion we need to disengage the Amygdala but using the Prefrontal Cortex. Saying your emotion will accomplish this task.

Find a Mood Meter and say "I am feeling...."

Then ask yourself if this feeling is Hurting or Helping.

If it is hurting, ask who do I need or what do I need to help move through and process this feeling and move on from this feeling.

Studies show that the more we learn to identify our own feelings the better we become at noticing the feelings of others.

After you start doing the emotional check ins with yourself, start some with your students. Ask them to take a quick minute to check in with themselves.