Giving It All

During a week when you feel like you have nothing more to give, remember this thought. If you only have 40% to give and you give all 40%, you gave 100%.

The week before a break is challenging. Everyone is ready to be out of school and home enjoying time away. Many of us have parties to plan, gifts to buy and wrap (so they look nice and not like they were wrapped in the dark by blind monkeys, aka my husband), meals to shop for, laundry to finish, dishes nightly, and we still come to work and pour into children. We come to work feeling that we have 10%, 20%, 33.3% to give. We often feel as if we do not have enough left to give. 

I love this idea that no matter what you have to give, if you give it, you gave all. My 40% given at a 100% is 100%.

You can make it this week. 

Don't judge yourself. Accept your feelings and work with them and through them, not against them. Mindfulness is accepting without judgement. Practice mindfulness by letting go of expectations and embrace what is. 

You are making it through each and every day. 

Let your mindfulness this week be a simple reminder that you are making it and you are giving your all. Be present. Don't judge. 

 

Santa Smiles and Grinch Hearts

A Message from Santa 

If that message from Santa didn't hit you with some perspective, watch it again. 

During this time of year we like to add fun and festive things to our lives. We have an elf on the shelf (who is sent to watch the naughty kids but is naughty himself....). We have colorful trees and lights. We say "Happy Holidays" and " Merry Christmas". But we are not always happy or merry. Too much gets in the way. Buying gifts. Planning get-togethers. And working.

Not every student celebrates a holiday this month, but many do. We add fun crafts, decorations, and elves to the school. We are cheerful and jolly. And when the students aren't looking we are exhausted and slightly grinchy. 

The message from Santa reminds us that we should not be looking at the students as "naughty" or "nice" but rather see their needs and who they are as a person. Are they showing frustration over a school subject? Is there something going on at home and they packed that emotion in their backpack with the school work? Are they too wearing a Santa Smile to hide a Grinch Heart? 

How do we help our students and ourselves be mindful and find a way to grow a Grinch heart three sizes?

Below is a list of ideas. Simply ideas. Not a to-do list which stresses you out and you have to check off one-by-one to ensure you are mindful. Find one or two that work for you. Explore a few for your students too.

Mindful Holidays 

1. Mindful Eating. This time of year there is LOTS of food. Mostly unhealthy, but so delicious. Remember to take time to enjoy. Don't chastise yourself for eating those extra calories. Enjoy them. Eat them slowly. Take a deep breath in and experience the amazing smells. Experience the flavors. Sip slow. Chew well. Enjoy.

2. Mindful Walking. I know that it's cold, but enjoy a walk. This time of year can be bleak and grey, but it can also be colorful and bright. Find a place that has a great light display and go for a walk. Take in deep breaths and experience the spirit of the season. Listen to the sounds. Maybe they are your feet crunching snow. Perhaps they are of animals in a distance. Find some peace in the calm of the night. When the walk is over try tip number one and have some hot cocoa with whipped topping. Remember sip slow and indulge. 

3. Morning Movement. Try giving your body a wake up stretch with yoga. The slow movements of yoga and the deep breathing can help you slowly wake your body. Stretch out all the sleep and give yourself time to slowly start the day.

4. Get Crafty. This is a great time of year to show off your creative side. Make some festive decorations. Bake a pie or some cookies. Create art. Nothing has to be perfect. Edible is a good goal. Pretty is appreciated. But even if you never reach perfect, enjoy the process. Find some flow and let go.

5. Quiet Time. Give yourself permission to recharge in a calm and quiet place. Turn off screens. Enjoy a moment of peace and calm. Give yourself this small gift.

6. Keep a Routine. This is a challenge. But research shows that we should never stray far from our normal sleep schedule. Give yourself permission to go to bed on time (or early). Give yourself permission to sleep in (or get up on time). Having a break from work doesn't mean you have to stay up late or sleep in. You can, but try not to stray too far from normal. When you keep your body on a normal routine your body feels better.

7. Set Priorities. Not everything has to be accomplished. Somethings you can forget. You can say "no". Set yourself a list of priorities and give yourself permission to ignore anything not on your list.

8. Conversations of Joy. A podcast recently reminded me that we don't have to talk about everything. We can choose to skip a conversation. It doesn't matter if Uncle Bob started the conversation and he wants your input. You can say you have set yourself a rule that at the holidays you only talk topics that bring you joy. If you aren't going to feel good after the conversation don't engage. 

9. Gratitude List. A great mindfulness practice is to start or end your day with a gratitude list. Make it season specific. List all of the things that bring you the most joy this time of year. Lights. Smells. Decorations. Faith. Family. Food. List what they are and why they bring you joy. 

10. Experience Presence not Presents. Be with friends and family. Put aside electronics. Put aside worry. Put aside stress. Put aside your to-do list. Give the present of your presences. Experience the moment in the moment. 

11. Give Grace. Give yourself some understanding and grace. If you didn't complete your to-do list. It's ok. If you ate every sweet at the party. It's ok. If you went to bed early. It's ok. If you slept in. It's ok. If you slowly drank your morning coffee, before you did anything for anyone else in the house. It's really truly ok. Don't berate yourself for taking a break. If you make it out on the other side of the holiday, that's enough. 

It's The Most Prosocial Time of the Year

This time of year children (and adults) can begin to engage in selfish behaviors. The season of giving has turned into the season of getting. It is a very "me, me, me" time of year (for some). But it doesn't have to be. It can become the Most Prosocial Time of the Year. 

What does this mean? How can we connect this to our students? Ourselves? Mindfulness?

Prosocial Behavior is a very well-being focused idea, and as we know mindfulness is focused on the present moment and making it a well-being moment.

Prosocial Behavior is defined as, voluntary actions specifically intended to benefit or improve the well-being of another individual or group of individuals. 

This time of year, as adults we can engage in prosocial spending. Spending our money to benefit others. But we can also engage in prosocial time. Giving others our time. I encourage you to take some time before break to spend a few minutes with each student. Give them a little one-on-one time before they go home for two weeks. They may not be gifted with prosocial time during break. Home does not always mean time with others for our students. Sometimes it means more time alone.

The idea behind prosocial giving/behavior, is that we work for the better of others. There are times that this can be reciprocal, such as our yearly Secret Santa (which is coming up, consider joining). This can also be altruistic, meaning that we give to benefit others, without return. This kind of prosocial behave is putting others before yourself and giving of yourself to them instead of giving to yourself.

Remember that activities such as Secret Santa are a fun way to engage in prosocial spending. This is also a great way to connect with others and build relationships.

But why should be do it? 

In psychology the questions have been posed and tested. We have learned the why.

Will a person be happier spending money on themselves or will the spending on others increase their happiness?

The answer is: Spending on others.

This is spending not just money, but time, self, and emotions.

How does this translate into the classroom?

Creating and allowing opportunities for students to engage in prosocial behavior is important and easy. 

Post a Mood Meter (I can send you a copy if you need it). Use it with the students. Teach them to identify their own feelings. This will help them identify feelings of others. Students can then begin to ask others if they need help, if they are alright, and what they need to be successful that day.

Prosocial behavior is teaching fair play at recess time. Teach students to resolve conflict, share, and play fair.

Encouraging positive peer connections. 

Have students write notes to each other, sharing encouragement, and letting someone else know that they are special.

Have a prize box and encourage students to tell you who they feel has earned a prize. 

Mx. Wray shared the idea that you can place a blank sheet of paper on each students desk. Then have the students rotate around the room writing a positive note on each paper. Give students some examples on the board and let them know that we want to say one nice thing for each student. 

This time of year is the perfect time of year to embrace and grow your prosocial skills.