If you have ever sat in on one of my introduction mindfulness lessons than it is no surprise to you that I love Adam Grant and implement his research findings into my life.
Adam Grant has shared that he always asks his children who they help each day.
I do the same, but I add an extra question.
1. Who did you help today?
2. Who helped you?
I want my daughter to be the helper but also know who the other helpers are in her world. I want her to be someone who contributes to life. But I also want her to know that it is not weak to ask for help or accept help.
Over the last few years psychologist Adam Grant and Jane Dutton have continued to research the topic of contributions. In fact their research findings show that counting our contributions not (just) gratitude/blessings makes us more motivated and less passive.
Gratitude, while a great thing to have and count is considered passive. It isn't our actions or abilities but rather what others are doing for us, the good happening to us.
Contributions on the other hand is active. It asks us what we have done for others and gets us thinking of ways to continue to support others.
As I did the research on this topic I couldn't help but think that this concept has been around longer than we think. President Kennedy once said " Ask not what your country can do for you- ask what you can do for your country."
Ask what you can do, not what can be done for you.
When we stop to ask what we have contributed to the day we see if we are a helper and if people can rely on us.
This is a good lesson for us as adults but also for our students. As I said, I ask my daughter daily who she helped. I love her answers. Most days she says she didn't help anyone, however, as she talks more about her day I find times she was a helper and she didn't even realize it.
I will point it out and she will act like "of course I did that mom, who wouldn't?" and I ask if she has seen anyone else help in that way and then she will think and say no or say that maybe one or two others.
This week she told me, no she didn't help anyone then she remembered that she told a friend to watch out because they were about to close their own hand in a door. The friend wasn't paying attention and quickly moved their hand.
Be a helper. Contribute. Don't just take.
Research tells us that when we become a contributor we have more prosocial behavior which leads to better mental health. Helping others has been known to reduce stress, improve mood, and elevate self-esteem and happiness.
The prosocial behavior also helps build a community, connections, prevents loneliness and isolation, and increases optimism and satisfaction.
When we help others we strengthen our mental health, build up our community, and lead ourselves to living a more satisfied life.
We can give our students opportunities to contribute. Give classroom jobs. Lead by example.
Ask yourself each day how you contributed to betterment of the day.
Ask your students if they feel they have made a positive contribution to the day.
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