Because I Said So...

How we talk to each other and our students matters. The video I shared was a fun way for us to think about the words we use with our students. Are we clear? Are we calm? Are we caring and compassionate?

Thinking about last week's blog we know how to help de-escalate and be a passenger to feelings. Now, let's dive into how we talk day-to-day.

Communication is more than what we say. In fact, a lot of our communication is how we say it. We should always think about, our body language, our tone, our volume, and then of course, our words.

If you were in my PD on de-escalation than you have heard this story, so hold tight while we share with the rest of the staff. 

When I worked crisis social work in Flint, I had a client who would yell. He yelled all of the time. I could not help his family because I could not be heard. I talked with my supervisor and we explored ideas. I then went back to the family and began to talk quietly. Almost a whisper. This forced my client to quiet down to be able to hear me. Then we worked on communication. And then worked to help his family.

Here are some quick reminders for communication:

1. Less is more. You do not have to say all of the words when few words will do. Be clear and concise.

2. Be calm. This reflects back to last week's blog. When you communicate be calm.

3. Be clear. We do not have to use big words that students will not understand. There are times to grow a vocabulary and there are times to communicate expectations.

4. Be caring. Genuine compassion. We do not need to talk down to students. We do not need to talk at students. We need to talk with students. Explain with understanding and care.

5. Offer approved choices only. If you ask a student, "Are you ever going to get in line?" they very well may answer "no." You asked the question. If you don't want the answer, don't ask the question. You could try, "You may join the line now and go to specials or you can continue to wait and we will send the class ahead and I will walk you to special after we talk."  

6. Use "I Feel" language. I feel statements are great. It shares a perspective without blaming. "I feel upset when you touch me without permission. I would like you to stop." (real statement taught in kindergarten this week.)

7. Positive praise. Use those purples! Our brains are wired to focus on the negative. We have to train them to focus on the positive. Build those neural connections. Connect the behaviors you want to see with praise. 

There may also be times where you need just a quick communication with your students. 

 One Liners

Above is a link to some one liners that could work with students. 

Communication does not have to be challenging, but it does take some time and thought.