October is National Bullying Awareness Month.
As we start to think about addressing the topic of bullying, let's take a few minutes to reflect on our relationships with our students.
Building relationships with our students creates what is known as a protective factor.
A protective factor is defined as, conditions, personal strengths, or social supports that lower stress, build resilience, and decrease the likelihood of negative health or behavioral outcomes.
When we think about bullying, most often we think about teaching definitions, how to be an upstander, and what to do if you are bullied. Before we ever get to teaching those important skills, lets begin with building a relationship.
Building relationships helps students see you as a safe and trusted adult.
The PBIS website has a great list of 8 ways to connect with students.
A warm goodbye lets your students know that see them, it was a pleasure to have them in class, and you hope the rest of their day goes well.
2. Begin With The End In Mind (or setting expectations and standards)
Setting standards, expectations, and boundaries creates a safe and consistent environment. This promotes time to teach, model, practice, and praise positive and highly valued behaviors.
The idea here is setting up the environment to get the end result you want.
3. What's On Their Playlist?
Connecting through music. Connect through favorites. Do not under estimate getting to know your students likes and dislikes. Showing an interest shows you care beyond school and you want to know them. Think of our 2x10.
I love taking a walk with a student who is experiencing big feelings. I use that time to talk about them before we talk about the feelings and behaviors that brought them to me.
Show interest and then either try to remember the information or write yourself a little note. Kids will be so surprised and impressed you remember. They will feel seen and heard.
4. SEL
Social Emotional Learning. This also includes mindfulness.
Teaching skills to self-manage, calm, and promote emotional understanding for a student's self as well as learning to have empathy for others.
5. Walk and Talk
This connects to number 3. I already shared that I gather the connection information through walk and talk time.
Something to keep in mind, walk and talk works really well for our male students. Studies show that boys do not like to sit face to face and talk. The side by side of a walk helps with comfort level.
When we walk the bilateral eye movement that happens creates optic flow. This visual scanning sends signals to the brain to reduce activity in the Amygdala. Reducing this activity helps reduce stress and anxiety.
Basically, walking is good for mental health as well as getting to know your students.
6. Give Them A Voice
Allow time for students to express themselves (appropriately).
7. Good Call
We've talked about positive purples and positive calls to make home connects. These positive connects can help build relationships with students and families.
My daughter's school has PAK tickets. PAK stands for Positive And Kind. When you get a PAK ticket you get put in a drawing, much like our tickets. They can get a small prize. With the small prize they also get a positive call home. As a parent a positive call can brighten your day. I imagine it brightens the day of the student too.
8. A Listening Ear
You do not always have to have an answer, a solution, or a comment. Sometimes you just need to sit and listen.
A few years back I had an 8th grader who would come to my office and just vent. She would unload it all. I would sit and listen. Once she unpacked her feelings, thoughts, and concerns she would go back to class. That was it.
Connecting does not have to be a challenge and can build positives, resilience, and protective factors into our students.
Let's start Bullying Awareness Month thinking about how we first build the relationships that become the protective factors.
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