Deliberately Developmental

Growth Mindset. 

We have all heard of this idea and hopefully embrace it. As I explored this topic as it relates to mindfulness I found a definition that I really like and it encouraged  me to think about my own growth mindset and my own growth.

On the website Awakenedmind.com it says that another term for growth mindset can be deliberately developmental. The article goes on to explain that this means you have a "deliberate set of practices to help you grow as a human." We can apply this concept to ourselves and to whole groups, such as our students.

Harvard experts, Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey study adult development and have found that adults waste 33% of time and energy on managing image at work. This is to say that a 1/3 of our time is spent worrying about the results of what we do and how it looks to others, rather than the process of getting the result. We worry how what we do looks to those around us.

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella has been quoted saying "We need to move from a know-it-all attitude to a learn it all attitude."

This is growth mindset. This is deliberately developmental. 

One way we can cultivate an environment of growth is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness helps us train our brains to slow down and tune in. When we learn to pause and reflect we open our brains to the opportunity to grow and develop in positive ways.

Mindfulness helps us teach our brains to be lessen reactive. When we are less reactive we can grow through a situation. We can learn to change an unwanted behavior and strengthen a wanted behavior.

We can utilize mindfulness to less our "quick fix" response and become open to learning a new and possibly more positive way to handle a situation.

On the website Mindfulschools.org we are told that teachers who have a personal mindfulness practice are better equipped to help students through difficult emotions. Teachers (Staff at school) who have a regular mindfulness practice teach their brains to pause and create space for purposeful responses and growth.

When we practice our own mindfulness we show students with our growth how they can grow too. When we learn to pause and create space we can then teach our students to do the same.

Having a growth mindset also makes a safe space for failure. 

Having a growth mindset encourages feeling emotions as they are and pausing to learn a new way to process them.

Having a growth mindset puts the focus on the process not the results.

Mindfulness helps cultivate a growth mindset.

We can be deliberately developmental. 

Please take some time today to enjoy a 5 minute mindful pause. Enjoy the moment and create space to grow. 

 

Start Small

You've decided to run a marathon. This is the first time you've tried. Day one of training you write on your calendar "Run 26.2 miles today"

NOPE!

Marathon runners do not run a full marathon on day one of training. 

Mindfulness can be thought of the same way. We do not have to set a goal of meditating 6 hours a day and do it day one. We can't all be Ron Swanson (minute 1:32-2:30) We can start small. 

If you haven't started mindfulness in your classroom you do not have to start with a full daily practice of 10 minutes (or 5 for the littles). You can start with a shorter transition or sound practice. 

In your own practice you do not have to jump into a long session. Start small. Start with a morning gratitude list. End your day with a gratitude list. Then build from there.

This week I wanted to spend time reflecting and reviewing mindfulness and gratitude.

Mindfulness isn't just something to put on our schedule or to-do list and simply check off when we are done. Mindfulness is about working on our attention to the moment, attention to our feelings, and creating a non-judgmental space for our feelings and thoughts to exist. 

Let's continue to think on the smaller scale as we talk about space. The space to have mindfulness. In a class, as a whole group activity you cannot actually have a small space, but it can be made to feel smaller. When we turn off the lights and encourage closed eyes the space can begin to feel smaller.

When we are doing our own practice we can find a small room, a small chair, and small corner. A small space gives us less to see and fewer things that might distract us. 

For some, small spaces are uncomfortable but for many others they can give a sense of closeness and comfort. 

In a small space for a small amount of time engage in a small moment of mindfulness.

This makes me think back to our blog on glimmers. Small moments that support our mental health and create positivity in our lives.

We can start small and enjoy the small things in life.

During a BSP meeting this week a parent shared that her son is grateful for the small things in life, such as new socks. I loved that she noticed this and was able to reflect on it with her son and us. I also love that he is grateful for small things. We all need a little more of that lesson. I look at my children and hope that I am teaching them to appreciate small things.

I encourage us to utilize small moment mindfulness to help us foster gratitude in the small things. 

What is a small thing that you are grateful for today?

I want to share a blog post I found from the website Therapy Tel Aviv Mini Gratitude Moments. It is a short blog talking about what we are talking about, what I'm calling Small Moment Mindfulness.

The blog also linked to a page on 100 Things To Be Grateful For. Reading this list made me smile, relate, and feel validated in my morning gratitude list often having coffee listed. I grantee this list will connect with you. 

Which number on the list spoke to you the most? 

One last link friends  End of the week 20 Second Gratitude Mindfulness

I love exploring topics and find resource after resource. I hope you inspiration in small moment mindfulness. I know I have. 

Gratitude Builds Us Better Together

An Attitude of Gratitude. 

As we begin the month of gratitude we have an opportunity to express gratitude for the good that comes from our coworkers. Each of us has a Warm & Fuzzies sheet for others to leave little notes of positivity and gratitude. I love this idea for the staff. I wonder if we as staff can think of a way to expand this to our students as well. After all, the scientific research on gratitude teaches us that we can gain many benefit from starting and practicing a daily gratitude mindfulness. 

UC Davis's professor of psychology Robert Emmons is one of the world's leading experts on gratitude and he states that there are two important components to gratitude.

The first part of gratitude is the affirmation of goodness. He states that gratitude helps us wake up to the good around us and helps us take notice of the gifts we are given.

The second part of gratitude is recognizing that the source of the goodness is outside of ourselves. Our gifts and the goodness comes from others.

I have a daily mindfulness practice of morning gratitude. This morning I really took time to think about my gratitude and where they have come from.

A gratitude of coffee (yes, some morning this is a gratitude) means I need to recognize someone, at some point in history figured out the "how to" to make it and now I get to enjoy it. Someone made the machine I use to grind the beans and the machine I use to make the fresh pot. I enjoy coffee because others have come before me with great ideas and wonderful inventions.

I love this new outlook on my gratitude. Really taking time to explore where and who the gratitude belongs to because it is outside of myself. While I might be the one making the coffee I am not the one who harvested and roasted the beans. I did not make the mug I use. My gratitude can begin to expand and I can explore new ways to be grateful. 

Research also tells us that gratitude can become a "social glue" to bring us closer to others. 

If my gratitude in the morning is toward my family and I begin to explore the gifts they give me I am going to feel closer to them. The closer I feel toward them, the more I am likely to show them kindness, love, compassion, and acts of generosity. I bring us closer together by being grateful for them. 

As staff at a school we can begin to explore how to use gratitude to build a stronger community among the staff and the students. We can explore the gifts our coworkers give to us daily. We can also begin to explore the gifts our students give to us daily. 

This is a great mindfulness opportunity for your students to build better relationships and form stronger social connections and glue your class together. 

Building a gratitude practice is a great way to build strong positive recall in your brain. As we have explored in the past, our brains are hardwired toward the negative as a way to ensure survival. We must actively work to train our brains to have positive recall.

Having a gratitude practice can also be a great benefit to your physical wellbeing. Studies show that those who regularly practice gratitude report few headaches, digestive issues, or sleep problems. It has also been observed that those who focus on finding positives and practice gratitude tend toward healthier life choices. A couple of examples are healthier eating habits and being more active. 

In her book The Thank You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time, author Nancy Davis Kho talks about her experience writing 50 letters of gratitude. At first she felt the pressure and uncertainty she would be able to complete this task. The more letters she wrote the more she was able to branch out past family and friends and begin to express more and more gratitude. Nancy reported that the experience boosted her mood and Nancy encourages others to explore writing letter of gratitude.

I challenge you to take this month of gratitude and write as many letters of gratitude as you can. Or at the very least take time to write on as many Warm & Fuzzies sheets as you can!

WTF Mindfulness

WTF Mindfulness

Now that I have your attention. What is WTF Mindfulness? 

Let's take a minute to remember that mindfulness is pausing to accept, reflect, and process an emotion, without judgement. 

There may be times in which you just do not want to calm an emotion down. You like the mad and angry feeling. You feel justified and you would be glad to exact vengeance where it is needed. You do not want to calmly ask yourself why you feel this anger. You do not want to ask what the function of the emotion may be. That takes away from your ability to create an alter ego as a super hero.... or a supervillain.

Asking ourselves "what's the function" of an emotion allows us space to consider if the emotion will support our mental health or if it will harm our mental health. 

There are no wrong emotions. That being said, not all emotions are a benefit to our positive mental health. We need to allow an emotion space to exist while at the same time evaluating its function and our needs.

If we are angry the function might be to help us bring about change, address a conflict with a person, or seek personal growth.

Giving ourselves space to ask "what is the function" really is giving us time to seek out the origin of the emotion. 

The anger's function is to help us change a situation because we are not happy with a situation. We are not happy because we disagree with how things are being handled. 

We can track where and when the emotion started, what it's function is and then we give ourselves space to resolve the emotion. 

Embrace the function of the emotion. Begin to utilize this to your benefit.

If the function of your anger is to create change. Create it!

What are you feeling today? What have you been feeling lately? What might be the function of that emotion?

Take time to start asking yourself  WTF?  Then help your students explore this concept, but maybe don't start with WTF. 

Free Hugs

How's Your Hug Health? 

Check Those Hugs Again

Have you ever had something pop up again and again on social media, movies, books, or life? When something repeats in my life I start to notice and pay attention. Over the last couple of weeks I have had hugging and mental health pop up again and again in my social media feed. So here we are, exploring hugging together.

Hugs Help Mental Health!

Our students often crave attention. Some will seek it out in negative ways. We have the opportunity to provide small moments of positive attention which can build trust and health. We can give a quick hug.

There are times when we may not always feel like giving hugs to others. For those times there are a couple of mindfulness practices we can teach our students.

Butterfly Hug Mindfulness is a peaceful guided imagery mindfulness with a slight hug from you butterfly-hands.

Another great mindfulness that is about hugs is called Imaginary Hug. This is one I love to utilize with my kinder and first grade friends. 

This mindfulness is a great way to teach students (and adults) to take a mental break, imagine some place nice and calm and then to give yourself a hug.

Hugs help!

On the CDC's website it states that loneliness is associated with higher rates of; depression, anxiety, and suicide.

Loneliness does not always look like being alone. The Jack's Mannequin song Dark Blue has a line that asks, "have you every felt alone in a crowded room?" Take some time this week to look around your classroom and ask yourself, "who here might be feeling lonely?" Chances are you have one or two students who sit in your classroom full of people and still feel alone. Have you hugged them today? Have you given them space to engage in a mindfulness self hug?

In a National Library of Medicine article titled, Relationships between loneliness, psychiatric disorders and physical health. A review on he psychological aspects of loneliness. the following is stated about loneliness: "Loneliness is the absence of imperative social relations and lack of affection in current social relationships."

Loneliness is when we feel disconnected from others. Our relationships do not support positive mental and physical wellbeing. 

For some hugging may be the last thing you want to do during the season of cold and flu and of course covid. In a Psychology today article Lisa van Raalte, Ph D shares that hugs can actually help fight against the common cold. Hugging helps lower blood pressure, decrease levels of cortisol, boost levels of oxytocin, and create a sense of bonding with others. These factors all help build a strong and health immune system.

The Psychology Today article continues on to share that due to covid we have been deprived social contact. This has negatively impacted the mental health for many. Human contact is essential for healthy development and positive mental health.

In a short clip on hugging from the Cleveland Clinic, it is shared that if you are not a hugger, even a small touch of a hand can help boost mood and mental health.

Now that we have talked about the benefits of hugs, take some time to notice how many students seek a hug. I have students who make a point to hug me every morning. I have other students who seek a hug every time they see me. Have you noticed this too? How many hugs do you get each day? How many do you give? If you do not want to try a hug consider a fist bump, shoulder squeeze, or a light touch on the arm. You might be boosting someone's mental health.

 

Let Go Like A Tree

While my daughter may choose to see it as Elsa teaching to Let It Go, I prefer the idea of the trees teaching us this mindfulness.

The season of Autumn can teach us that there is beauty in change and letting go. The leaves on the trees turn brilliant and beautiful colors as they allow the passing of one season to the next. When looking up the above quote I found a variety of variations, some which even included the concept that Fall teaches us to let go of dead things. We may not like this imagery but it is an honest depiction of the transition from Summer to Fall as we prepare for Winter. 

We can learn from the trees and let go of what should be dead to us. We can do this with the help of mindfulness.

In my research this week I found a helpful article from the Centre for Clinical Interventions in Australia.

This article was about a mindfulness practice on letting go. In it we are reminded that mindfulness is designed to help us skillfully disengage from negative thinking and let it go. We can untangle our thoughts and feelings and let go of what does not serve our greater mental health.

The practice of letting go mindfulness helps us learn to notice our negative thoughts and feelings and with skill, let them go.

Sometimes our thought and feelings shout at us and demand our attention. Mindfulness can help you learn to notice and turn down those thoughts. Not turn them off. But turn them down and observe and learn.

Letting go mindfulness implies in the name that we in fact once held onto a feeling, thought, or emotion. It existed. 

When we learn to acknowledge what is going on inside of us we can learn to control how others see it playout on the outside.

Letting Go Mindfulness asks that we begin by asking ourselves the question; "what am I experiencing right now?" We take time to investigate, observe, and understand.

Take time to fully explore and feel.

Then begin to bring awareness to your breathing. And begin to say to yourself something as simple as "relax". 

As you calm an emotion remind yourself "whatever I am experiencing, it is OK, I can feel it, work through it, and I can be OK."

Gently remind yourself that you can let go of a problem, feeling, thought, or emotion. Remind yourself that letting go can and will serve your greater mental health. 

This last step is key. YOU MUST LET IT GO. 

If you look back in the blogs you will find one that talks about the chemical duration of an emotion. The duration is about 90 seconds. After that we are engaging in what is called Rumination. Your brain will ruminate on something that your body is chemically over and has let go. You must train your brain to let go too.

Practice a letting go mindfulness this weekend and be ready for a fresh start next week. Find one thing to let go. And, Let Go! 

What is Bullying?

 October is bullying awareness and prevention month.

This month we take time to talk with students about what is and isn't bullying. We share how to address bullying and ways to prevent it.

To help our students understand bullying, we need to first understand bullying. 

The words Bully and Bullying are extremely over used. We cannot call all behavior bullying. We cannot call mean students bullies. This belittles true bullying situations. It also sets up students to have the misperception on what is going on.

I strongly recommend taking less than 30 minutes and listen to the podcast I have linked below.

Raising Good Humans

The chart above is always posted in my office. When a student comes to report bullying I turn to this chart and help the student identify the situation. Most often the behavior truly fits in Mean or Conflict. 

As adults we need to watch our words. Words have power. Make sure we understand and properly use the word bully.

The flow chart below is a great way to guide the conversation regarding bullying.

Bullying is painful and we need to address it and take care of our students who are being bullied. If it isn't bullying we need to teach our students to handle and resolve conflict. Conflict and mean moments a part of growing up. We all encounter them. But we all will not encounter bullying. 

Let's take this month to really help our students understand what is and isn't bullying.