Mindful Christmas Time

 

We are in the homestretch of school before break. We are getting ready to spend time away from work and hopefully enjoy time to rest and recharge. 

For some this season is stressful. The hustle and bustle. The gift buying. The decorating. The baking. The cooking. The cleaning for family. Family. 

For some this season is magical. The lights. The music. The decorations. The treats. The presents. The time with family.

For some this season is mixed. Stressful but also beautiful. We love seeing family. We love seeing family go home.

No matter if you love it or could leave it, you can make it more mindful.

A quick Google regarding how to make Christmas mindful will bring up several lists, tips, and ideas. I have taken the time to read many of them for you and created my own list of the best of the best ideas.

Have Yourself A Mindful Little Christmas (Holiday...Winter...etc...) 

1. Presences not Presents. Be with the ones you are with. Give them the gift of your time and attention. There is nothing worse than looking around a family/friend gathering and seeing everyone on a screen and not interacting. Teach the children in your life to unplug the device and plug into the family.

2. Start with a Stretch. Movement in the morning helps to wake the body. Stretching or an activity such as yoga helps to improve blood flow, posture, and our overall health and mood. YouTube is a great resource. The app FitOn has a lot of free videos that can help you create a morning movement routine. When holiday stress hits combat it with a good stretch.

3. See the Light and Explore Nature. After a good morning stretch take a few minutes to step outside. Research shows that getting morning light helps to balance our circadian rhythm and improve our sleep habits. There has also been some research related to morning sunlight and healthy eating habits. Morning light may be helping balance hormones. Scientists are finding that morning light helps improve hormones related to hunger and satiety (that feeling of being full). If you want to make sure you don't overeat over the holidays try taking a morning walk in the light. 

A walk outside is also a very mindful experience as you connect with the nature around you. This time of year might not be blooming with color and vibrancy but it does give us beauty. Snow glimmers, ice glitters, pine trees show us it is possible to stand tall and full through winter. Animals still scurry. And sometimes, if you catch the right time of day, you can stand still in the peace and quiet of feel the calm.

4. Hydration (like you've never thought about it before....this was a new to me!) We all know the benefits of hydration. We are doing our minds and bodies the absolute best when we ensure we are properly hydrated. But if we are honest, hydration can be a chore, boring, and the mundane. What if you set a goal with your hydration? With every cup of water you finish you take a deep breath in and sit silently taking in your surroundings. Think of a gratitude and sit with yourself. I loved this idea. Make hydration a goal for drinking water and for also taking a mindful moment of peace, calm, and gratitude.

5. Mindfully Make and Eat a Meal. Now that we have hydrated in a mindful way lets take some time to ensure our eating is not done with such gusto that we do not savor or enjoy the meal and the moment. Food can be a large part of the holiday season for many of us. In my family we start the holiday season making sugar cookies. Years ago I started a tradition of taking my grandmother's cinnamon roll recipe and making them on Christmas Eve and having them ready to bake and eat Christmas morning. I use this experience to connect to my family; those who have passed and those who I teach to bake now. Making food for the holidays can be stressful and daunting. Then everyone eats fast and often too much. Take time to enjoy the process. Start a tradition. And then take small bites and slowly eat. Taste the flavors. Savor the smells. Sit in the moment and enjoy.

6. Plan it Out. Keep a Routine. You may not want to keep that 5:00am alarm but try not to sleep until noon. Keep a similar routine helps our bodies stay happy and healthy. Research shows that we should not stray far from our wake-sleep routine. Staying within an hour or two of your normal sleep-wake schedule is good for you mental and physical health. It helps create predictability and consistency in your brain. It helps your body stay on a schedule throughout the day and creates reliability. When we sleep better we think better. With a clear mind we can create a plan for our holiday craziness. Plan ahead when and where you would like to go for the holidays. And if you don't want to plan with someone....

7. Let It Go.  You do not have to see everyone. You do not have to go everywhere. If you made a 'to-do' list and its overwhelming, pick one or two things to let go. If you just cannot make another batch of cookies (no matter how much your husband and children beg) do not feel guilty. Let it go. You do not have have to say yes. In fact, you can...

8. Say No. No I will not be making shortbread cookies, sugar cookies, snowball cookies, peanut butter cookies with the chocolate kiss in the middle. Yes this is an actual list of requested cookies from someone in my house. He will not be getting them all. I will say no. No we will not be opening the all of the gifts on Christmas Eve when grandma and grandpa come. We will only open the gifts from them. This again was a request in my house. That little cutie will learn patience. And I will continue to practice my mindful, 'No'. No helps us prioritize needs and wants. No helps us take time for self care and rest. Give 'No' a try.

9. Build the Happy Memories and make it Meaningful. I know people who do not care for the holiday season. It is mainly due to the commercialism, the money spending, and the feeling you have to buy everything for everyone. I love Christmas. I love the lights. I love the music. I love giving gifts. I love making cookies with my family. My family looks forward to sugar cookie day every December. I love making my grandma's cinnamon rolls. My older sisters have memories of baking with our grandma. I missed out so this is my way of making a memory connected to her. I also use baking to connect to my children and create memories with them. As I shared, years and years ago I asked my mom to teach me my grandma's recipe. I asked to make them for Christmas. This started a tradition of making them every Christmas in our home. Now that we are all grown and out of our parents home my siblings and I still make cinnamon rolls every Christmas morning. Make a memory to share. Make the season meaningful. Start a tradition of decorating a tree while listening to Christmas music and sipping hot cocoa. Ask your family if they want to drive around and look at lights. If we are ready early in the morning we take the long way around our neighborhood and look at Christmas lights. Leila and I love starting our mornings with some Christmas cheer. When we find the meaning and create the memory our minds and bodies find a sense of safety and calm.

10. Rest and Recharge. When all is said and done, relax. Clean up and then sit down. You need to rest. Do not start another to-do list. Do not start a new project. Relax. Turn on your favorite movie. Turn on a really good song. Pop some popcorn. Grab the chocolate. Read a book. Sit in silence. What recharges you? How do you get the best rest? Find your way and practice it. You need it. You deserve it. Do it.

Monk Life

Could you live like a monk??

Professor Justin McDonald at the University of Pennsylvania teaches a course on deliberately living. It is fondly called "Monk Class" and has a wait list of 300 people. In this class Professor McDonald asks his students to give up electronics for 30 days. He says this is not to isolate his students but to give them a small glimpse of monk life, to help them learn to live a more mindful life.

In a recent CNBC article McDonald shared three tenants to try if you would like to live a more deliberate life.

First, just as he asks his students to do, he encourages us to try a digital cleanse. Unlike his students he is not asking us to go 30 days but rather 7. 

It was reported that in a small randomized trial, participants who took a week break from screens showed reduced levels of depression and anxiety.

A study published in the Journal of Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking also reported that reduced screen time increases sleep quality and overall well-being.

The second thing McDonald shared was the idea of Single Tasking.

This is the idea that we should not multitask, especially if one of the tasks we included is a screen.

Engaging in one thing at a time is the best way to stay present. It also helps us notice our surroundings and thoughts.

A 2019 study out of Stanford University found that those who divided their time between work and multimedia (such as a streaming app like Netflix) had a shorter attention span and memory.   

If you search back in a past blog you will find a graphic that shows due to smartphone humans now have an attention span shorter than a goldfish. 

McDonald tells us that we should learn to be bored and learn to sit with our feelings. He wants us to know how to sit with loneliness, anger, and sadness. He goes on to say that we need to be able to do this without crowdsourcing our feelings to friends (co-workers, partners, teachers, etc.).

What might it look like if we taught our students to sit with their feelings? As we have reviewed before; feelings are not right or wrong and they are not good or bad. Teaching ourselves and our students to sit with feelings will help them and us learn to handle them better, on our own. 

Lastly, McDonald wants us to "Do Nothing."

McDonald uses a Dutch concept "Niksen" which he shares means "to do nothing" and is used to combat burnout and stress. 

McDonald and his family engage in this practice daily. He has his family take 30 minutes a day to sit or take a walk without watching or listening to anything. They simply take time to sit with themselves and be. It is an intentional practice of doing nothing to be present in the moment with ones thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. 

Engaging in a practice such as this helps one to understand and better navigate their emotions. Take time to be with your own thoughts, rants, heartbeat, and feelings; and do so without judgement. McDonald tells us that we can listen without having to solve, just be with, what is going on in our life and mind. 

Perhaps over the upcoming break you can give yourself the gift of better mental health, increased attention span, and better quality if sleep. Take a week to practice these three "monk life" principals from professor McDonald.

What might you gain from trying? 

Living more intentionally and more mindfully is just a few steps away.

Choose Your Own Adventure

 "Emotions are a choose your own adventure book."- Mason, 3rd grade

This quote from my friend Mason came after a discussion on emotions. I shared that emotions are right or wrong. Emotion are good or bad. They exist for a purpose. We can choose to learn the purpose and grow or we can get stuck in the emotion. I also shared with him that it is how we handle our emotions that matter. We can choose to learn how to handle our emotions or we can choose to let our emotions run wildly with of control.

Mason took time to take it all in and think about what this meant to him. He then shared that it was like reading a choose your own adventure book. No path in the book is wrong, but you usually enjoy one ending more than another.

I love this! I asked him if I could quote him and use this with others. He gave me full permission to share. He even asks from time to time if I have shared it yet. Please, after reading this blog let Mason know what you think of his emotions quote. It will be just the boost of confidence he might need that day.

Awhile back on my social media I shared someone else's thoughts on emotions. This one is more on the silly side. 

 Listen to this guy share a little more about Emotion Farts

I love how we can look at emotions and learn from them. We can get creative when we talk to our students about their emotions. We need to be brave and dive into emotions with our students. And with ourselves. Maybe this blog is for you. Maybe you are struggling with accepting an emotion. Maybe you have yet to figure out the healthiest way to let out an emotion. 

Gottman is here to help us again this week. This graphic helps us break down a mindful way to accept, process, learn about and learn from an emotion; as well as learning to let go of what does not serve our greater mental wellbeing.

We can use Gottman's 6 steps, Emotional Fart wisdom, and the amazing insight of Mason to help us create a mindfulness around emotions.

I encourage you to take time this December (and all year through) to sit with an emotion. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in, hold, and slowly let go. 

Feel where in your body the emotion is taking up residence. Are you feeling tension in your neck, shoulders, or back? Do you eyes hurt? Are you sensitive to sound? Is it hard to breathe? Are you clenching your jaw? 

Label the emotion. In psychology this is call "Name It to Tame It." 

Accept that this emotion is real and necessary. It has a purpose. 

Investigate. Explore. Understand. When did this emotion start? What brought it about (triggered it)? 

Do you need to let this emotion go? Is it teaching you something? 

Let it go (if needed) and always let it out(in a healthy way)... but remember our lessons. You might not like the ending of your adventure if you choose to let the emotion go in an unhealthy way. It might get messy if you let a feeling out too aggressively. 

Practice your emotion mindfulness. Enjoy the adventure.  

Repair and Rebuild Relationships

15 Seconds to Change a Relationship 

Are you struggling to reconnect with a student after a rupture? It is not easy to set aside pride and admit we could do things better. But we can do it. And we should do it.

The last time you had a student explode, did you explode too? What might it look like after if you repaired the relationship by naming how you could (and will) do better next time?

The video I included above is from the Instagram page of Dr. Becky Kennedy. While she talks to us from a parent point of view we can easily translate that into an education setting. 

Taking time to let a student know that your anger at a situation might have scared them and they had the right to that feeling is a start. To continue on saying that the anger outburst was not their fault is the next step. And closing out with letting them you are working to reduce your reactivity is key.

Take a look at this next graphic...

I've pulled out a few that I really liked and wanted to share.

Sorry

2.  I really blew that one.

6. I can see my part in all this.

8. Let's try that one over again.

I Appreciate

2. My part of this problem is...

3. I see your point.

Get to Yes

2. I agree with part of what you are saying.

5. I never thought of it that way.

The repair tool comes from Gottman who is an American Psychologist who focuses on relationship. While his main focus is romantic relationships we can translate it to any relationship.

If we can mindfully take the month of December to look at how we address concerns we can choose to repair relationships as needed.

What might it look like to welcome a student back with repair after they have had a time out of class? Could you take the time to let them know that you want to understand, help, and address your own part in what happened?

Mindfulness can be a great tool to help you prepare to repair. Mindfulness helps us see things as they are in a non-judgmental way. 

Mindfulness teaches us that emotions exist, are valid, and need to be understood not dismissed.

When we need to repair with a student it would be best to be mindful first. Take a few minutes to prepare with a sense of calm and understanding.

Think about your classroom culture and what role you play. Are you part of the storm or are you the lighthouse quietly showing the way to safety? 

Use the advice of Dr. Becky Kennedy and Dr. Gottman to help you repair, rebuild, or start to build a new relationship with a student. 

Deliberately Developmental

Growth Mindset. 

We have all heard of this idea and hopefully embrace it. As I explored this topic as it relates to mindfulness I found a definition that I really like and it encouraged  me to think about my own growth mindset and my own growth.

On the website Awakenedmind.com it says that another term for growth mindset can be deliberately developmental. The article goes on to explain that this means you have a "deliberate set of practices to help you grow as a human." We can apply this concept to ourselves and to whole groups, such as our students.

Harvard experts, Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey study adult development and have found that adults waste 33% of time and energy on managing image at work. This is to say that a 1/3 of our time is spent worrying about the results of what we do and how it looks to others, rather than the process of getting the result. We worry how what we do looks to those around us.

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella has been quoted saying "We need to move from a know-it-all attitude to a learn it all attitude."

This is growth mindset. This is deliberately developmental. 

One way we can cultivate an environment of growth is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness helps us train our brains to slow down and tune in. When we learn to pause and reflect we open our brains to the opportunity to grow and develop in positive ways.

Mindfulness helps us teach our brains to be lessen reactive. When we are less reactive we can grow through a situation. We can learn to change an unwanted behavior and strengthen a wanted behavior.

We can utilize mindfulness to less our "quick fix" response and become open to learning a new and possibly more positive way to handle a situation.

On the website Mindfulschools.org we are told that teachers who have a personal mindfulness practice are better equipped to help students through difficult emotions. Teachers (Staff at school) who have a regular mindfulness practice teach their brains to pause and create space for purposeful responses and growth.

When we practice our own mindfulness we show students with our growth how they can grow too. When we learn to pause and create space we can then teach our students to do the same.

Having a growth mindset also makes a safe space for failure. 

Having a growth mindset encourages feeling emotions as they are and pausing to learn a new way to process them.

Having a growth mindset puts the focus on the process not the results.

Mindfulness helps cultivate a growth mindset.

We can be deliberately developmental. 

Please take some time today to enjoy a 5 minute mindful pause. Enjoy the moment and create space to grow. 

 

Start Small

You've decided to run a marathon. This is the first time you've tried. Day one of training you write on your calendar "Run 26.2 miles today"

NOPE!

Marathon runners do not run a full marathon on day one of training. 

Mindfulness can be thought of the same way. We do not have to set a goal of meditating 6 hours a day and do it day one. We can't all be Ron Swanson (minute 1:32-2:30) We can start small. 

If you haven't started mindfulness in your classroom you do not have to start with a full daily practice of 10 minutes (or 5 for the littles). You can start with a shorter transition or sound practice. 

In your own practice you do not have to jump into a long session. Start small. Start with a morning gratitude list. End your day with a gratitude list. Then build from there.

This week I wanted to spend time reflecting and reviewing mindfulness and gratitude.

Mindfulness isn't just something to put on our schedule or to-do list and simply check off when we are done. Mindfulness is about working on our attention to the moment, attention to our feelings, and creating a non-judgmental space for our feelings and thoughts to exist. 

Let's continue to think on the smaller scale as we talk about space. The space to have mindfulness. In a class, as a whole group activity you cannot actually have a small space, but it can be made to feel smaller. When we turn off the lights and encourage closed eyes the space can begin to feel smaller.

When we are doing our own practice we can find a small room, a small chair, and small corner. A small space gives us less to see and fewer things that might distract us. 

For some, small spaces are uncomfortable but for many others they can give a sense of closeness and comfort. 

In a small space for a small amount of time engage in a small moment of mindfulness.

This makes me think back to our blog on glimmers. Small moments that support our mental health and create positivity in our lives.

We can start small and enjoy the small things in life.

During a BSP meeting this week a parent shared that her son is grateful for the small things in life, such as new socks. I loved that she noticed this and was able to reflect on it with her son and us. I also love that he is grateful for small things. We all need a little more of that lesson. I look at my children and hope that I am teaching them to appreciate small things.

I encourage us to utilize small moment mindfulness to help us foster gratitude in the small things. 

What is a small thing that you are grateful for today?

I want to share a blog post I found from the website Therapy Tel Aviv Mini Gratitude Moments. It is a short blog talking about what we are talking about, what I'm calling Small Moment Mindfulness.

The blog also linked to a page on 100 Things To Be Grateful For. Reading this list made me smile, relate, and feel validated in my morning gratitude list often having coffee listed. I grantee this list will connect with you. 

Which number on the list spoke to you the most? 

One last link friends  End of the week 20 Second Gratitude Mindfulness

I love exploring topics and find resource after resource. I hope you inspiration in small moment mindfulness. I know I have. 

Gratitude Builds Us Better Together

An Attitude of Gratitude. 

As we begin the month of gratitude we have an opportunity to express gratitude for the good that comes from our coworkers. Each of us has a Warm & Fuzzies sheet for others to leave little notes of positivity and gratitude. I love this idea for the staff. I wonder if we as staff can think of a way to expand this to our students as well. After all, the scientific research on gratitude teaches us that we can gain many benefit from starting and practicing a daily gratitude mindfulness. 

UC Davis's professor of psychology Robert Emmons is one of the world's leading experts on gratitude and he states that there are two important components to gratitude.

The first part of gratitude is the affirmation of goodness. He states that gratitude helps us wake up to the good around us and helps us take notice of the gifts we are given.

The second part of gratitude is recognizing that the source of the goodness is outside of ourselves. Our gifts and the goodness comes from others.

I have a daily mindfulness practice of morning gratitude. This morning I really took time to think about my gratitude and where they have come from.

A gratitude of coffee (yes, some morning this is a gratitude) means I need to recognize someone, at some point in history figured out the "how to" to make it and now I get to enjoy it. Someone made the machine I use to grind the beans and the machine I use to make the fresh pot. I enjoy coffee because others have come before me with great ideas and wonderful inventions.

I love this new outlook on my gratitude. Really taking time to explore where and who the gratitude belongs to because it is outside of myself. While I might be the one making the coffee I am not the one who harvested and roasted the beans. I did not make the mug I use. My gratitude can begin to expand and I can explore new ways to be grateful. 

Research also tells us that gratitude can become a "social glue" to bring us closer to others. 

If my gratitude in the morning is toward my family and I begin to explore the gifts they give me I am going to feel closer to them. The closer I feel toward them, the more I am likely to show them kindness, love, compassion, and acts of generosity. I bring us closer together by being grateful for them. 

As staff at a school we can begin to explore how to use gratitude to build a stronger community among the staff and the students. We can explore the gifts our coworkers give to us daily. We can also begin to explore the gifts our students give to us daily. 

This is a great mindfulness opportunity for your students to build better relationships and form stronger social connections and glue your class together. 

Building a gratitude practice is a great way to build strong positive recall in your brain. As we have explored in the past, our brains are hardwired toward the negative as a way to ensure survival. We must actively work to train our brains to have positive recall.

Having a gratitude practice can also be a great benefit to your physical wellbeing. Studies show that those who regularly practice gratitude report few headaches, digestive issues, or sleep problems. It has also been observed that those who focus on finding positives and practice gratitude tend toward healthier life choices. A couple of examples are healthier eating habits and being more active. 

In her book The Thank You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time, author Nancy Davis Kho talks about her experience writing 50 letters of gratitude. At first she felt the pressure and uncertainty she would be able to complete this task. The more letters she wrote the more she was able to branch out past family and friends and begin to express more and more gratitude. Nancy reported that the experience boosted her mood and Nancy encourages others to explore writing letter of gratitude.

I challenge you to take this month of gratitude and write as many letters of gratitude as you can. Or at the very least take time to write on as many Warm & Fuzzies sheets as you can!