What Matters & Self-Care

 

Did anyone get a BINGO?

Self-care shouldn't be a chore, a task to check off, or something you feel guilty about engaging in. At my last Social Emotional Learning Townhall meeting we talked about how important self-care is for us all. The only thing I disagreed with during the meeting was making self-care a homework task. The idea, which I understand, was to make it "homework" so you don't guilty about taking the time to complete self-care, because it has been an assigned task. I, however, see it differently. It should not be a homework assignment you feel like you have to do so you don't fail someone else's expectations. It should be a gift to yourself to ensure you are well equipped to help others at your peek ability and performance. It's the thought about not being able to pour water into a cup for others if your cup is empty itself. You must have a full cup in order to share with others, and in the end not be empty again.

This next graphic shows the many types of self-care. If you are unable to engage in one type, try another. 

This week I have been enjoying listening to a podcast with Susan David, a psychologist who works in the field of Emotional Agility. She talks about separating ourselves from our emotions and correctly labeling the emotions. Her example is, instead of saying "I am stressed" first utilize separation. The idea that we are a feeling means that we cannot escape the feeling and the feeling controls us. Then we need to correctly label the feeling. You are not stressed; you Notice that you Feeling depleted. Now the last step is to find the need that needs to be filled, this is the reason behind the feeling. You feel depleted because you need time to recharge. You need time to engage in self-care.

Mindfulness helps us take time to sort out what we notice we feel and what the need is behind that feeling.

The question Dr. David posed as a good daily check in is, "What did I do today that matters?" She suggests that this eliminates the the nagging feelings that we did not accomplish enough. Focus each day on what you have done that matters. This will help you with emotional self-care. 

This week when I meet with students I have started each day asking for a Goal & a Gratitude. I love helping them start their days with a focus and positivity. 

I have also started to end the day asking them, "How did you help today?" and "What did you do today that mattered?" I want to get them thinking about being helpful and focused on doing one thing that matters to someone else. Research has shown that when ask our students to focus on these topics they will feel better about their day and thus begin to do well in all aspects of their lives. 

The more we attend to our social emotional needs, the more we can help our students attend to theirs. The more we help our students attend to their social emotional needs, the more our students succeed. 

If you would like more insight on your own emotional agility, here is Dr. David's quiz; Emotional Agility Quiz The questions in this quiz really made me stop and think about how I process my emotions and move forward. It was a helpful reflection. Now I am looking forward to the report that will be emailed to me. I am hoping to gain more insight on myself, which will allow me to continue my mindful emotional growth.

                                            So I ask you, "What did you do today that mattered?"