Teens, Screens, and The Mindful Way Out

Mindfulness is beneficial for each and every one of us, but too often it is under utilized with our older  students.

Teens spend an average of 9, non-school related, hours on a screen each day. Looking at a typical school day for one of our students this means being on a screen as soon as they wake up and being on a screen long past when they should be sleeping.

Teens (and pre-teens) are experiencing fewer hours of sleep and increasing more and more hours of time on a screen.

Studies out of Yale, Harvard, and MIT are starting to provide insight regarding teens and the use of screens. 

As the amount of time on screens increase teens are experiencing an increase in fractured attention level, lack of impulse control, and  heightened levels of depression and anxiety. 

The studies have also found the teens most often are utilizing screens out of boredom, loneliness, and to avoid unpleasant feelings. 

Teens today are losing the ability to navigate nuanced and complex interpersonal human interactions. 

Our students do not know how to handle and resolve conflict. We need to teach them theses skills and encourage time away from screens.

One great way to help our students is to introduce them to mindfulness and include it in their daily lives. 

Some schools across the US have started to address the concern related to screens through various mindfulness exercises. 

One such practices focuses on teach students three fundamental skills.

1. Watching thoughts

2. Being present with others and the natural world.

3. Self-compassion

In the first part, watching thoughts, students are asked the questions "Am I using a screen to connect with someone?" or "Am I disconnecting and distracting from feelings?" 

To help students answer these questions students they practice a body scan and phone scan. The students are asked to turn off their phones and place them upside down on the floor at their feet. The students conduct a mindful body scan with deep breathing. They are then asked to pick up their phones and turn them on. The students are encouraged to notice where their fingers go on the phone. What app do they open first? Are they checking calls or text to view a missed connection? Are they exploring TikToc or YouTube and disconnecting?" 

This practice can then move to exploring ways to utilize ground technology use in values, self-compassion (this is often a big challenge for young girls), and empathy for others. 

The second step, being present with others and in the natural world.

This mindfulness practices asks teachers to take students outside. Have students pair up. Ask them to spend time together deep breathing, listening to and looking at nature, and exploring emotions. Have students ask each others about feelings. Have students practice reading faces and body language. Youth need to learn the skills of interpersonal connection and communication. Teach I-statements to utilize during this practice.

The final step, self-compassion is key to helping our students with taking a deep look at screen time and self-value. 

Posting the perfect picture. Sending people pictures. Reading comments from others. Posting comments to others. This connects the first step when we talked about values being practice with screens. Mindfulness practices that focus on self-compassion can help.

Helping our students spend non-screen time practicing mindfulness is beneficial for social skills, emotional skills, and for learning.

 The publication Mind, Brain, and Education presented a study of 5-8 grade students at a charter school and how mindfulness helped them. The study reported that students who had a regular mindfulness practice also had higher GPA, greater achievement on standardized tests, better attendance, and fewer suspensions. 

We're Going on a Bear Hunt for Radical Acceptance

 Last week's blog inspired Ms. Richardson to share the concept of Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance is exactly what Rumi was talking about in his poem, The Guest House. But Rumi isn't the only place we can find help for understanding this idea. 

Thank you Tricia, I loved taking a deep dive into Radical Acceptance. I hope I do it justice in this blog. 

According to BetterHelp.com, a website dedicated to finding therapist online and providing mental health information; Radical Acceptance was developed by Marsha Linehan.

In an article on better help it states: Radical acceptance, as its name suggests, means exactly that: accepting everything about yourself, your current situation, and your life without question, blame, or pushback. Far from condoning or embracing what you are and what you are going through, radical acceptance advocates simply accepting yourself and your circumstances in order to better move through and past them.

Better Help also goes on to share that radical acceptance is used to help us accept our feelings related to situations which are beyond our control. The ultimate goal is to have a progression of growth rather than a stagnation of rumination. 

Much like Mindfulness you can trace Radical Acceptance as a concept back to early Buddhist practices. The idea is living a connected life. Connecting to the present moment. Connecting to our feelings. Connecting to others. Connecting. The more we form and build connections the more we are able to accept emotions as they come. We connect to others and form bonds, this create the opportunity for love and loss. We cannot accept one without accepting the potential for the other.

Last week we looked at Rumi's poem The Guest House. In his poem he told us:

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.

This week we look at Radical Acceptance and are encouraged to greet all emotions with kindness. 

In an article on PsychCentral.com we can explore more about what Radical Acceptance is and is not.

This article helps us to understand that RA is about accepting difficult situations as a reality and accepting our emotions surrounding them. This can lead us from pain into peace.

The quote below from the PsychCentral article really hit home for me as to why this practice can be such a beneficial add-on to my own mindfulness practice;

"Your merciless inner critic might also criticize your competence as a parent, employee, or spouse. And your feelings of suffering beget more suffering."

If I start to practice more RA I will surely be able to better handle bedtime with a three-year-old. That has, by far, become the most stressful time of day for me. And thus become a source of criticizing competence as a parent. If you have ever chased a naked three-year-old around the house, you know.

RA can gives us an accepting mindset in the midst of the madness that is life.

RA could be extremely useful during testing season. Accept however you feel related to testing. No guilt. No shame. Accept it as it is. This is a great mindfulness practice; take a deep breath in, and think about the testing and your feelings, and then breath it out, accept the feelings and let go.

RA helps us create a conscious effort to acknowledge and honor difficult situations and emotions. This is not ignoring, avoiding, or wishing away. It is honoring that you have been through/are going through a difficult situation/emotion and you accept the reality of the situation. This will strength your emotional resolve and help you move through your emotions.

As I was reading up on radical acceptance a statement stood out to me. Move Through Your Emotions.

If you have ever taught elementary school or have a child this may bring to mind the first part of the title of this blog. It did for me. I looked up the lyrics to the song, We're Going on a Bear Hunt. Hear me out on this one, this song can help teach kids about accepting emotions....just change a lyric or two.

In the song we are told we come upon tall grass and the song says:

We can't go over it, We can't go under it, We can't go around it. We have to go through it.

Now let's change that to an emotion we often try to avoid.

On our emotion hunt we come up to sadness and say:

We can't  go over it, We can't go under it, We can't go around it. We have to go through it.

The bear hunt song also states that on the hunt, I am not afraid. 

We can teach our students (and ourselves) to not be afraid of the emotions. Use mindfulness and radical acceptance (which connect and over lap the more you learn about both) to not be afraid of emotions but rather greet them with kindness and honor them and go through them.

We can find wisdom all around us, we just have to sit for a mindful minute and find it.

Remember, radical acceptance is not about approving of trauma or pain, but rather an acceptance of the feelings you have surrounding the trauma or pain. RA helps you to validate your feelings. Marsha Linehan shares that we must accept reality rather than fight against it. 

https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-it-really-means-to-practice-radical-acceptance#myths

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/what-is-radical-acceptance-and-how-can-it-help-me/

Simply Begin Again

In a blog post on psychologytoday.com, professor Timothy Pychyl, PhD quoted Joseph Goldstein's advice for mindfulness. This advice was three words, "Simply begin again." 

The idea Mr. Goldstein was trying to convey is very simply that we don't need to be harsh on ourselves if we have a mind that wonders. We do not need to be frustrated if we forget a day of mindfulness. All we simply need to do is, simply begin again. 

I love this idea. Without judgement, without malice, just simply begin again.

After reading the Pychyl article I explored Goldstein more and found another great quote for us to ponder.

"The breath is always with us, it's not that we have to go searching for it or find something that's not there. If we are alive, we're breathing."-Joseph Goldstein. 

Mindfulness is a simple activity that requires nothing more than to be alive. We only need to set aside time to, simply begin again.

This week I want to present the idea of how we can begin again when emotions take us off course. Goldstein tells us that the breath is always with us and we do not have to search. When an emotions arises you do not have to seek out a solution for it, rather breathe through it. And if you are distracted, simply begin again.

I was exploring various Inner Explorers this week and came across one in the age group for 5th-7th grade. Practice 157. This practice focused on an old poem by Rumi. This 13th century wisdom applies well to the mindfulness practice of accepting emotions. The poem, The Guest House can really start you thinking about how you greet your emotions. 

In mindfulness we ask you to accept your emotions as they are and not judge them. Now the question is, how did you first greet that emotion?

   

And after each emotion, simply begin again.

Uncover Compassion

 

If you read the whole of this Einstein quote you will see that Einstein was telling us to look beyond our personal circle. He challenges us to move past those we love and care about and begin to show compassion to the world.

Embracing with compassion should not be a difficult task we work toward achieving, but rather a daily ritual we embrace with ease.

In a 2013 interview Jon Kabat-Zinn (who is considered the father of modern mindfulness) shared his views on compassion and how it connects to mindfulness. Jon shared that mindfulness does not build up compassion but rather uncovers what is already there. He went on to share that mindfulness simplifies and helps us embody who we are at our core.

The more we utilize mindfulness to embody and embrace our inner compassion the more positive emotions we will experience.

In a 2005 study presented in the International Journal of Stress Management, research was presented regarding mindfulness and self-compassion. The study utilized counseling psychology students and asked them to practice mindfulness and then rate such things as; self-compassion, stress, negative emotions, and positive emotions. The students reported an increase in self-compassion and positive emotions and a decrease in negative emotions and stress.

When we practice mindfulness we increase our ability to experience self-compassion and we uncover our compassion for others.

This month I encourage you to practice mindfulness for yourself as well as with your students. 

Last year our mindful moral focus wall focused on a mindfulness practice called RAIN, the RAIN of self-compassion.

R: Recognize what is going on

A: Allow the experience to be there, just as it is

I: Investigate with interest and care

N: Nurture with self-compassion

Take some time this month to sit in the RAIN of self-compassion.