Last week's blog inspired Ms. Richardson to share the concept of Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance is exactly what Rumi was talking about in his poem, The Guest House. But Rumi isn't the only place we can find help for understanding this idea.
Thank you Tricia, I loved taking a deep dive into Radical Acceptance. I hope I do it justice in this blog.
According to BetterHelp.com, a website dedicated to finding therapist online and providing mental health information; Radical Acceptance was developed by Marsha Linehan.
In an article on better help it states: Radical acceptance, as its name suggests, means exactly that: accepting everything about yourself, your current situation, and your life without question, blame, or pushback. Far from condoning or embracing what you are and what you are going through, radical acceptance advocates simply accepting yourself and your circumstances in order to better move through and past them.
Better Help also goes on to share that radical acceptance is used to help us accept our feelings related to situations which are beyond our control. The ultimate goal is to have a progression of growth rather than a stagnation of rumination.
Much like Mindfulness you can trace Radical Acceptance as a concept back to early Buddhist practices. The idea is living a connected life. Connecting to the present moment. Connecting to our feelings. Connecting to others. Connecting. The more we form and build connections the more we are able to accept emotions as they come. We connect to others and form bonds, this create the opportunity for love and loss. We cannot accept one without accepting the potential for the other.
Last week we looked at Rumi's poem The Guest House. In his poem he told us:
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
This week we look at Radical Acceptance and are encouraged to greet all emotions with kindness.
In an article on PsychCentral.com we can explore more about what Radical Acceptance is and is not.
This article helps us to understand that RA is about accepting difficult situations as a reality and accepting our emotions surrounding them. This can lead us from pain into peace.
The quote below from the PsychCentral article really hit home for me as to why this practice can be such a beneficial add-on to my own mindfulness practice;
"Your merciless inner critic might also criticize your competence as a parent, employee, or spouse. And your feelings of suffering beget more suffering."
If I start to practice more RA I will surely be able to better handle bedtime with a three-year-old. That has, by far, become the most stressful time of day for me. And thus become a source of criticizing competence as a parent. If you have ever chased a naked three-year-old around the house, you know.
RA can gives us an accepting mindset in the midst of the madness that is life.
RA could be extremely useful during testing season. Accept however you feel related to testing. No guilt. No shame. Accept it as it is. This is a great mindfulness practice; take a deep breath in, and think about the testing and your feelings, and then breath it out, accept the feelings and let go.
RA helps us create a conscious effort to acknowledge and honor difficult situations and emotions. This is not ignoring, avoiding, or wishing away. It is honoring that you have been through/are going through a difficult situation/emotion and you accept the reality of the situation. This will strength your emotional resolve and help you move through your emotions.
As I was reading up on radical acceptance a statement stood out to me. Move Through Your Emotions.
If you have ever taught elementary school or have a child this may bring to mind the first part of the title of this blog. It did for me. I looked up the lyrics to the song, We're Going on a Bear Hunt. Hear me out on this one, this song can help teach kids about accepting emotions....just change a lyric or two.
In the song we are told we come upon tall grass and the song says:
We can't go over it, We can't go under it, We can't go around it. We have to go through it.
Now let's change that to an emotion we often try to avoid.
On our emotion hunt we come up to sadness and say:
We can't go over it, We can't go under it, We can't go around it. We have to go through it.
The bear hunt song also states that on the hunt, I am not afraid.
We can teach our students (and ourselves) to not be afraid of the emotions. Use mindfulness and radical acceptance (which connect and over lap the more you learn about both) to not be afraid of emotions but rather greet them with kindness and honor them and go through them.
We can find wisdom all around us, we just have to sit for a mindful minute and find it.
Remember, radical acceptance is not about approving of trauma or pain, but rather an acceptance of the feelings you have surrounding the trauma or pain. RA helps you to validate your feelings. Marsha Linehan shares that we must accept reality rather than fight against it.
https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-it-really-means-to-practice-radical-acceptance#myths
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/what-is-radical-acceptance-and-how-can-it-help-me/
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