Embracing Autumn with Mindfulness

 How do you see autumn?

An article from the New York times shared that the poet Percy Bysshe Shelly once compared the falling leaves of autumn to decaying corpses in the grave. 

How do you see about the season?

In some recent small studies it has been found that those who tend to ruminate or are more easily preoccupied with thoughts in the autumn season also are more likely to be affected by season depression in the winter (SAD).

The studies also found that unlike the "spring forward" time change, the "fall back" negatively impacts mental health. More depressive episodes occur around the autumn time change than the spring time change.

Autumn is a time of change. The sunlight is becoming less. The temperature is dropping. Leaves and plants are dying. Many people begin to reflect on nature's change and relate it to their own lives. 

Autumn becomes a time of discomfort with change. A mourning period for the lost summer sun and days at the beach.

Autumn does not have to be "Death's second self" as William Shakespeare once said. This season is a perfect time to build a mindfulness routine. Dr. Wilson of the University of Mississippi has called fall the prefect time to "harvest" the good from the summer and be present and enjoy the fall.

We can use fall as a season to build resilience. 

Resilience is ones capacity to adapt to challenging life experiences. 

Dr. Kecmanovic the founder of Arlington/DC Behavior Therapy Institute, shares that autumn is a time to work on acceptance of uncertainty. Accepting uncertainty is a great way to build resilience.

In some recent studies it has been found that the "intolerance of uncertainty" is associated with poor mental health.

While we are all faced with uncertainty at times we do not have to be intolerant. We can use mindfulness to learn to lean in and cultivate rather than run from the uncertainty. 

Dr. Kecmanovic encourages us to put aside what makes us comfortable and in control and face uncertainty, lean in, build resilience. 

A great mindfulness practice for fall is, Step Back-Observe. 

 Instead of seeing autumn through the eyes of the poet Shelly or the playwriter Shakespeare, Step Back-Observe and embrace and enjoy.

See the leaves not as merely dying, but as going thought a beautiful transformation in their lives. Take time to sit out in the crisp fall air and observe the changing colors. Notice the sounds of fall. Be with nature not separate from nature. 

We all have a life cycle. Embrace each moment of the cycle without focusing on the end. Mindfulness teaches us to be present in the moment, on purpose, without judgement. This is a perfect way to embrace autumn. In the moment, on purpose, without judgement. 

Embrace the season to help support positive mental health.

NY Times Article https://www.nytimes.com/2022/09/21/well/live/fall-autumn-mindfulness.html

Empowering Student, Avoiding Power Struggles

 

If this graphic is not clear enough to read check out Mindshift on Facebook. Or click on it and it will create a popup of the picture and it will be clearer. 

I loved this idea of addressing power struggles, giving students power without releasing your own, and asking students to obey (follow) the rules, not you.

Avoiding power struggles can be a difficult task. One we often cannot do alone. Power struggles are real and happen before we even know we have entered into one. 

My four-year-old is a delight. She is funny, smart, and full of personality. At night she turns into a "tiny terrorist." If you'd like to see an example of a power struggle head on over to my house at 7:00pm. What should be a simple request, put on your pajamas, turns into mommy walking away frustrated. I know I should remain calm. I know I should give clear instructions and not engage in a back-and-forth. I know these things, but I just want her to  go to bed.

Do you ever feel this way with students? You know you should remain calm. You know you should only give clear instructions and not engage in a back-and-fourth...and yet you do. 

The two quotes on the graphic ring true to me. 

"The reality is that no one wins a power struggle"- Ross Greene 

"See a child differently...see a different child." - Stewart Shanker

While thinking about these two quotes I did some mindfulness research to find a mindful way to handle power struggles. 

Before my research, my go-to mindfulness practice at my daughter's bedtime was to step out of her bedroom and take deep breaths. I noticed this worked for me, but it didn't work for her. She didn't change her behaviors. She was still avoiding pjs and now crying that mommy was taking a timeout. 

I found an insightful article on how to approach power struggles using a mindfulness technique called pause and use PLACE. I know about a mindful pause, that's what I do for myself, but it's the use of PLACE that was new to me.

PLACE 

P: Playfulness. This one seems odd by name when you are thinking about keeping your own power and at the same time seeking direction following from a child. What playfulness means for this practice is; lightness, hope, and openness. When we are playful we have a lightness to our personality, we have a hope for things to go well, and we are open to the experience. 

When you are asking students to follow directions and they are struggling to do so, stay open, light, and hopeful. Instead of yelling, try gentle talking. Instead of getting louder, get quieter. Be calm and at peace, not stressed.

L: Loving. We can love our students with kindness and firmness. An honest love for a child is kind and sets clear boundaries. 

A: Acceptance. "Perfect just as is" even when challenging behaviors arise. Children need to know they are accepted even when their behaviors are not. We accept who they are, not how they are acting. 

C: Curiosity. Be fascinated and wonder. Aim to understand the behavior. When we simple seek to stop a behavior we do not learn how to prevent a reoccurrence. Seek to understand what happened before the behavior, during the behavior, and how you were able to best address the behavior. When we know the need we can help meet the need or find a compromise. 

E: Empathy. Students want to "feel felt." They need you to put yourself in their shoes. They need you to feel with them. Do not stop feelings, understand them and work through them.

PLACE isn't easy and it takes time.

I took time to try it with my four-year-old. Bedtime wasn't perfect but better. I stayed and took deep breaths and gave clear instructions with love and watched her behavior at the times she was not following directions. She wanted to pick out her bedtime books. We found a compromise. PJs and then books, or no books. She loves books so she took time to pick out pajamas. 

This week take time to think of one student with whom you engage in power struggles. Try the mindfulness practice of PLACE. 

Getting to Know Others and Building Relationships

 "You are so brave and quiet I forgot you were suffering." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

When I saw this quote over the summer I immediately made a note and kept it to share with all of you. The idea of the overlooked quiet kid really gave me pause. 

Who in your class is quiet and brave? Do you know them yet? 

We were all encouraged the first two weeks of school to spent quality time getting to know our students. Build rapport. Build relationships.

Relationships are key.

This week I listened to an episode of The Happiness Lab, one of my favorite podcasts. The podcaster, Dr. Laurie Santos dug deep into the topic of making friends as an adult. 

The ideas which were shared I feel can apply to how we also interact with our students. Are we mindfully building into our students, building them up, building their strengths? Or have we already labeled and dismissed students we feel are going to be a high flier?

It takes us back to the topic we talked about in PD; are you a walnut tree or a marigold? Side note; my marigold are still blooming in sunbursts of orange, yellow, and red. 

In the podcast they talked about how the best relationships are those we work to cultivate, not those that simply just happen. Most people believe it to be the other way around and do not try to make friends. But research shows us that when we work to create, build, and keep a friendship, that friendship will flourish and we will be happiest. 

Have you worked on your connects to your students? To another staff member?

Mindfulness is a great way to begin.

As Mrs. Dixon shared for our Mindful Monday, just start with well wishes. This is one of my favorites we have talked about a few times over the years. 

Well Wishes Mindfulness can also be called Metta Loving Kindness.

This was first introduced to me when I took a class called The Science of Wellbeing with professor, Dr. Laurie Santos. 

It feels amazing to send well wishes/loving kindness; even when sending those thoughts to those you do not like.

I encourage you to try with all of your students. 

In a post from a couple of years ago I suggested taking time in the morning as you set up class, to walk around the room and send a well wish to each student as you pass their desk.

Start your day with a positive thought on each student.

Lead the Mindful Way

 "Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they they have never failed to imitate them."-James Baldwin

Our students mindfulness practice must start with us. As the educators in their lives we are responsible for leading by example and educating through action. 

In the link below you will find a wonderful article which articulates the case for mindful educators and mindfulness in education. 

Mindfulness in Education

At the beginning of the article the idea of a class mindful leader is introduced. I love this idea. Begin with showing them mindfulness through your actions, then teach them how to be mindful, and as they grow encourage them to take responsibility for mindfulness. Empower them to teach others how to be mindful. This is an idea that I plan to try in my classroom mindfulness lessons.

Finding your own mindfulness practice will help reduce your stress and help you find a calm. This is not always easy when there is chaos.

Over the long weekend my family went camping. We stayed up late, as you do when camping. This meant our four-year-old was WAY OFF her sleeping routine. If you have ever had or known a tired four-year-old then you know you are dealing with meltdowns and BIG emotions. I understand that when her emotions are too big for her to understand and I need to be her calm in the chaos of emotions...daddy on the other hand does not. I found myself over the weekend talking about being the calm, showing the calm, and that joining in the big emotions, by yelling to stop melting down, will only create another meltdown. 

In your class, in the halls, at lunch, in specials, and at recess, you will see big and small emotions. You don't have to yell to grab attention. Use mindfulness to calm your own emotions. Equip yourself with mindful emotion check ins and then help your students learn to do mindful emotion check ins too.

Be the Calm in Their Chaos. 

Be the mindful example they need to see and you want them to imitate.

This week let's practice taking deep breaths to calm our minds and bodies. Try the 7/11 Breathing. Breath in, through your nose for 7. Breath out through your mouth for 11.

When we take mindful breaths it's a good thing to remember that the out breath should always be longer than the in breath. This will trigger the parasympathetic nervous system ( the system of the body that calms you and helps you feel relaxed and safe).

Start your mindfulness practice this week as you begin sharing the mindfulness journey with your students.