The Power of "I"

 Feelings happen. 

If you take some time to study the brain and it's behavior, then you will learn that we utilize our emotion center more often than we utilize our logic center.

Our Amygdala, which is part of what is known as our Reptilian Brain, is our emotion center. This is our center for Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Faint. This is part of our sympathetic nervous system. Our fear response. Our safety center. We need this, however, we do not want to simply run on this all of the time. When we run on this we create higher levels of cortisol in our body. Cortisol is our stress hormone. Too much can do significant harm to our body.

We need to learn how to slow down our thinking, switch off the Amygdala and turn on the Prefrontal Cortex. Our Prefrontal Cortex is our wise brain, our logic center.

How do we start this process? Where do we begin?

More often than not when feelings arise we blame others, express them in a big way, or do not address them at all.

We need to learn to identify and express them in a healthy way. We need to lead by example so our students begin to do that same.

If you have never tried to utilize an "I Statement" try it today.

Teaching and utilizing the "I Statement" takes a feeling from blaming to owning. We own the feeling we have and we assert it, not blame it on others. 

I feel frustrated when you choose not to listen to directions because it tells me that you are not focused or ready for the day. I'd like you to take some time to refocus and find a way to help yourself listen better. Maybe you could take a five minute break in the calm down corner.

I statements express a feeling about a situation. They do not shame or blame. 

it's not... 

Why is it you never listen to directions?

Are you even listening to me?

Is there a good reason you aren't listening?

You never listen!

Children (and adults) more often than not will stop listening when a statement is blaming. It is a comment reaction to become defensive, shut down, and not change the behavior.

An I Statement expresses how an action makes someone feel. The feeling belongs to the other person, you cannot tell them it is right or wrong. When you hear a feeling statement you listen from a perspective of understand not defense. 

A mindful way to address a concern is to utilize an I Statement.

I statements give the listener time to use the logic brain not the emotion brain.