Be Engaged, Be Mindful

 What if you had a tech free day, not a free tech day? 

Studies show that the amount of time we spend on a screen continues to increase. Did you know the posture most people sit in while engaging in smartphone use is head, neck, and shoulders hunched forward? This posture puts strain on the neck. Have you ever asked an 8-year-old to spend the day sitting on your neck and shoulders? Probably not, that sounds like a strange request. The posture you sit in while on your smartphone puts pressure on your neck and shoulders. That pressure is the same amount of weight as if you asked an 8-year-old to sit on your neck and shoulders.

Research shows an increase in mental health concerns for children and youth. The top three are anxiety, depression, and stress.

30% of 2-year-old know how to use a smart device but have limited to no language skills.

Many children age 3-4 years old use a smart device daily, however, they lack fine motor skills.

Recent studies have found that the number of children with a smart device addiction is higher than the rate of alcoholism in America. 

These recent studies report that there are three key things to look at to assess a smart device addiction.

1. Does this person show signs of anxiety?

2. Does this person show a lack of fear of consequences?

3. Does this person show a lack of impulse control? When was the last time you checked your phone? Did you know that research shows we check our phones on average of 150 times a day?!

A study done by Microsoft found that our attention span is now only 8 seconds. That is less than the attention span of a goldfish. 

We could dive deeper and deeper into study after study related to technology and how it can harm our children. This background is important to understand. This helps fuel a drive to encourage tech free times. 

Wouldn't it be amazing if we could increase attention span, reduce anxiety, and help address depression?

We can!

An article out of the Mayo Clinic from October 2022 shares that mindfulness can not only help with attention, anxiety, and depression, but possibly other health concerns.

The Mayo Clinic reports that mindfulness may help control diabetes, fibromyalgia, high blood presser, lessen insomnia, reduce pain, and reduce job burn out.

Take some time today to sit still, breathe deep, and calm your mind. Engage in a mindfulness practice daily. The Mayo Clinic suggests creating a daily routine. It is reported that after about six months it will become a habit completely interwoven into your daily routine. 

Quick 2 Minute Mindful Break

I encourage you to explore some tech free time (or limited to simply listening to something such as Inner Explorer) and be mindful. 

I challenge you to start noticing how often you pick up from phone during the day. What if you put it down without looking at the screen? What if instead you took a deep breath and spent time engaged in mindful meditation? 

Remember, the more we work on our own attention span the better equipped we will be to help our students with their attention.

If we want engaged learners, we need to be engaged leaders. 

New Year, New Opportunities for Growth

Take the next 11 minutes and listen to a TED talk on Conflict Resolution . 

As we continue moving forward in this first month of the new year it would benefit us greatly to take time to reflect on last year and make a plan to move forward. As we talked about last week, it's not about a new year's resolution but about a new year's change toward self-improvement to help students make improvements.

We lead by example.

One the of the biggest things I have noticed over the years is this: Students do not know how to handle, manage, and resolve conflict. With the increase in screen use I have seen a decrease in conflict resolution skills. For our students conflict resolution is turning off a screen and ignoring the situation in hopes it will go away. 

How do you do with handling conflict? 

Do you eat the granola and seethe? (watch the Ted talk if you haven't yet)

Do you avoid eye contact and hope it all just goes away?

Do you close/turn off the screen and call it solved?

Or.... 

Do you engage in compassionate curiosity?

How do your students handle conflict? What example have you shown them?

Helpguide.com has shared an article called, Conflict 101.

Below is the list they shared regarding conflict.

1. Conflict is more than just a disagreement. One or both parties see it as a threat.

2. Conflict festers when it is ignored.

3. People respond to conflict based on their own perceptions, life experiences, culture, values, and beliefs. 

4. Conflict triggers strong emotions.

5. Conflict is an opportunity for growth. 

Conflict is inevitable. Understanding that it will happen and it is an opportunity for growth can be the first step for us to start a new year with a new outlook.

Amita Patel a licensed psychotherapist shared some conflict resolution skills in a blog she titled, Fight Like An Adult. We learn more about ourselves than others when we take a look at how we resolve conflict. 

Amita shared the following:

1. Keep a goal in mind.

2. Avoid grandiose or absolute statements such as "always" and "never".

3. Replace conjunctions. Change BUT to AND. This makes the statement solution focused as a team.

4. Confirm understanding, instead of listening to plan a retort or unconsciously assigning meaning.

5. Say what you want not what you don't want.

This list can help us keep our resolution person centered. It can help us be open to understanding others and their point of view.

In conflict resolution it is also important to remain open minded and stay evidence based. We would benefit from engaging in self-reflection and also reflecting on the perspective of the other person.

As professionals we can take conflict management skills and apply them to our personal and professional lives. We can also take theses skills and share them with students. We can take time to utilize and teach I-Statements. We can listen to our students with compassionate curiosity. We can confront a situation with facts, stay focused on a goal, and use the conflict as an opportunity to bring forth a positive change. 

 

The more we can take time to work on how we resolve conflicts the better equipped we will be to help our students resolve conflict.

If we want to help students build life skills, reduce outbursts, and reduce (or eliminate) fighting in the classroom we need to work on conflict resolution. 

Take this new year as a new opportunity for growth.

Reframe not Stop Your Feelings

 Each new year brings with it new plans (goals, resolutions), new hopes, and new emotions. The emotions that we experience are not always the ones in which we want to feel. While each new year is filled with wonder, hope, excitement, and pride; it can also be filled with emotions left behind from the previous year. You might experience a sense of regret, longing, guilt, disappointment, or sadness. With all of the possible emotions coming your way it would seem easier to simply turn it all off.

Instead of making a new year's resolution to have Alexia turn off your feelings try a mindful approach to the new year.

Let's begin with what to do about (or with) our feelings, instead of turning them off and dismissing them.

When we look at our feelings and the new year with mindfulness we can see a new way to design the new year. We can learn to reframe our thoughts and feelings.

Psychologists from the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, Robin Stern and Marc Brackett have shared that we should take phrases such as;

"I need to work out to lose weight and not be fat."

and turn them into,

"I plan to wake early and work out to help boost my mood and feel like my best self."

We can do this with feelings as well. Take a feeling and reframe it. 

If you are feeling frustrated by a situation reframe it to be an opportunity for change, build resilience, or a time to let something go.

NYU Research Psychologist Gabriele Oettinger has pioneered the concept of goal disengagement. 

Often we set a goal for ourselves and when we fail to accomplish the goal we berate ourselves. We begin to experience feelings we would rather turn off than feel. Instead of ruminating on the feeling of frustration and disappoint, reframe the feeling and disengage from the goal.

Perhaps you set a personal goal to lose weight and you did not reach the goal weight you set for yourself. Instead of feeling angry or frustrated reframe the feeling and disengage from the goal.

Allow yourself space to feel the frustration and then remind yourself that you can still make healthy choices and reframe the feeling as hopeful that you are making the best choices for your mental and physical health.

As we explore this topic for ourselves we can learn new ways to help our students reframe feelings when they are upset about not reaching a goal. 

If a student is upset about a grade, help them reframe the feeling to address that they tried and have learned where they need to keep trying.

Teaching ourselves and our students a mindful way to reframe, not stop a feeling, can help them see the present in a more positive and hopeful way.

What can you reframe?

What goal can you disengage from this year?

How can you allow yourself to feel, reframe, and let go?