Just Be Patient

 In a recent study of 3,000 Americans, 45% of Millennials (those born between 1981-1996) reported to feeling less patient than they did 5 years ago. They shared that they blame technology.

With technology at our finger tips we live in a low-effort, high-reward society. This kind of world is not conductive to cultivating patience. 

Even though patience is a virtue we as humanity have long seen as important, it is only something that psychologist have begun to study in the last 20-30 years.

Psychologist Sarah Schnitker published her patience research findings in The Journal of Positive Psychology. In her article, An Examination of Patience and Well-Being, Schnitker shares that patience is positively correlated with well-being. She reports that it also correlates to positive coping skills and thriving.

The definition of patience is,  the propensity of a person to wait calmly in the face of frustration, adversity, or suffering. 

I don't know about you, but reading that definition had me reflecting on my patience. The word propensity mean, the inclination or natural tendency toward.  

Do you have a natural tendency toward or are you inclined to be patient? 

Do you have that inclination in the face of frustration? 

The beginning of a new school year is a time for great patience. You need to have a propensity toward patience when students struggle to put into practice the guidelines, rules, and required behaviors you are establishing in your classroom. 

If we think about the fact that nearly half of all millennials state they feel less patient due to technology, what might that mean for our students? Do they even have or understand what it means to be patient?

How do we help cultivate patience in our students (and ourselves)?

The Cleveland Clinic shared a list of 6 tips to increase patience. Their top tip: Mindfulness.

The Calm App has also shared a list of their top 10 tips for building patience. Their top two are, to look for opportunities to be patient and to practice mindfulness.

As a school we utilize mindfulness for our students, not to simply fill time, but to help improve their well-being. We as adults can use mindfulness to help improve our own well-being and patience. 

After reading the lists shared by the Cleveland Clinic and the Calm App I have compiled a list of suggestions to help us increase our patience as we help teach patience to our students.

1. Mindfulness. Do your own. Do it with your class. Use Inner Explorer,

2. Look for an opportunity to be patient. Did you come to school today? If you answered yes, then you found an opportunity to be patient. Don't waste this time. Utilize it.

3.Shift your perspective. A student is not giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time. 

4. Accept what is out of your control. You can give directions but a student has to choose to follow them.

5. Listen well. Often times we listen to respond. Make sure you listen to understand.

6. Build tolerance for discomfort. Practice active ignoring, when safe. Don't sweat the small stuff.

7. Create a go to calming routine. What do you do to calm down? Do you have a calming space in your class? Do you use a calming app? (I use the Calm app and listen to The Daily Jay)

8. Empathize. Remember you were once young, new to school, and had to learn new rules.

9. Remember what matters most to you. Think ahead to long term goals. Do not engage in a power struggle now to be right in the moment. Build a relationship and focus on the long term goals.

10. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to your students. We will all have moments of impatience. Remember our mindfulness definition, pay attention on purpose without judgement. Do not judge for the moments you cannot handle it. Ask for support. Give support where it is needed. Be kind.

Below is the self evaluation Schnitker utilized in her research. How is your patience looking? Which of the ten tips might you need to focus on to help build your patience?