The Moment in the Middle

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In the space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." -Author Unknown but often attributed to Viktor Frenkl, there is no clear evidence to refute or confirm.

The space between stimulus and response. 

We often to do not think about this space. But we should!

The Buddhists call this space the sacred pause. This is a space and time to pause and make wise choices regarding a situation.

Tara Brach, who is a psychologist, author, and meditation expert often refers to the sacred pause. She shared that this is a time to stop before we interject, interrupt, or strongly state our views. We do not always need to do these things and can benefit from taking a sacred pause.

A sacred pause is a moment in limbo, where you do not feel a need to speak, fix, achieve, resist, resolve, or run away. 

It is our moment in the middle.

We can use this mindful meditation with ourselves, our co-workers, and our students. We can also teach our students to utilize this mindfulness to help with conflict resolution.

The way we can practice the sacred pause is to:

1. Notice. Simple take in the information regrading the situation. Notice without reacting or responding. Simply observe as if you are an outsider.

2. Identify your personal emotions regarding your observation, Identify your inner experience related to what you noticed. What are you experiencing as far as; fight, flight, freeze, or faint? 

3. Take a deep breath. And do this over and over. As much as necessary to remain in the in between. 

After you have completed this process take time to then ask yourself some questions:

1. What is most important to me? What matters right now? Does it matter if I am right? Will this serve my greater wellbeing?

2. Is it helpful to act on my feelings? Will I or other benefit from a reaction to my feelings?

3. How can I meet this situation with kindness?

4. What is the truest path forward? The greater good.

In the end when we take time for a sacred pause we can ask ourselves "what is the goal of my reaction?"

The next time a stimulus has you ready to jump into response, pause, ask yourself your goal, and then meet it with kindness.