This is not a new topic. It connects to topics we've been exploring already this year. It also connects back to a topic from February of this year.
Finding the Good (In Students, Staff, and Ourselves)
Finding the good in others does not mean that we ignore the negative, rather it means that we separate behavior from the person. Good people make mistakes. And people who struggle with behavior have redeeming qualities. We have to look past the behavior and find the good inside the person.
Psychology Today has a great article encouraging us to explore getting to know people past their flaws and struggles. The article states that in today's society we are living a "bummer car" existence. This is explained as "bumping into others" brief encounters, and then moving on quickly. Bump and go. Bump and go. We are encouraged stop, get out of the bummer car, and spend time with others.
When we do more than a quick moment and move on we get to know a person. The quick moments of behavior do not tell the whole story of a student. A quick moment with a "grumpy" co-worker does not tell their whole story. A quick moment with you is not your whole story.
The more time we are willing to spend with another person, the more likely we are to engage in what Dr. Becky calls MGI. The most generous interpretation for behavior. Look back at the post from February 12, 2025 for more on MGI.
Studies show that when we begin to explore the good in others we are more likely to find the good in ourselves.
Seeing the good in others also helps them (and us) become more confident, more loving, and more productive. When you take time to find the good in your students, your students are more likely to be productive in school.
Remember that clip from Ted Lasso? Remember the quote he shares from Walt Whitman?
Are you curious about your students? Or have you made up your mind about their behavior, attitude, abilities, or worth?
Slow down. Look for the most generous interpretation for a behavior moment.
Take time to see abilities.
Letting others, especially kids, know their abilities will stick with them for a long time, possibly the rest of their lives.
In the Psychology Today article the author shared a story about being a kid playing football. He shared that he was small for his age and always picked last for a team. One day after playing football the team captain told him that he was a good player and that he wanted to pass the ball to him more. The author states that this stuck with him. Someone noticed his abilities and shared that with him. He felt more capable and more accepted. He felt as if he really was good at sports. He stated that this was the beginning of years of sports because he felt good about his abilities.
What abilities have noticed from your students? Have you told them?
We need to do more than notice abilities to support our students. We need to look for their positive character traits.
Psychologist who study positive psychology believe that we all have positive values we display. Some values are stronger and some weaker but never lacking. These psychologist created the VIA Values in Action survey. This survey can be found at VIAcharacter.org. You can take it and find your own strengths. Students can take it and find theirs. You can help students know they have positive character traits by telling them the good you see in them.
When we being to explore the good in others, often times we find the good in ourselves. Finding good in others benefits us all.
Which student do you need to find the good in? Will you take the time to find the good and let them know?
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