MGI

Last week I started a book that is amazing. You may find me sharing from it as I continue to listen. It's about a 10 hour listen, so there is a lot of good information to come our way. The book is called Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy.

Dr. Becky Kennedy, if you aren't familiar, is amazing! Her focus is parenting, children, and parent-child relationships. So, as you can guess, Good Inside is about parenting. But that doesn't mean it cannot apply to other aspects of our lives. In fact Dr. Becky shares in the book that the parenting skills she shares can be applied to any of our relationships. 

The first lesson I want to share is MGI, Most Generous Interpretation. 

This lesson has stuck with me and has encouraged me to pause and rethink a situation as it is happening and after it has happened.

Dr. Becky encourage us to look at a situation and give some benefit of the doubt. We need to remind ourselves that the other person does not mean malice toward us and is not intentionally trying to harm us. If you think about it MGI is similar to Q-TIP.

We aren't taking things personally and we are stepping back to give a generous interpretation of a situation. 

I want to make a quick disclaimer, MGI does not excuse abuse and is not to be applied in those kind of situations. MGI is for our everyday life behaviors. 

MGI is assuming the best in others. It does not excuse their behaviors but rather gives space around the why  of the behavior.

Dr. Becky shares in her book that when a situation occurs we need to give the MGI. 

For example; a student is working quietly and then as if out of no where begins to shout and scream. We could tell them to stop. We could ask them what is wrong with them, you know what I mean "ask" but its more a statement "what is wrong with you?" Or we could use the MGI and say to ourselves that this is a student having a difficult moment and they need help. 

Let's use a more dramatic example. A student is visibly upset and begins throwing things. We could assume they are out of control, they don't care about others, and that they are a bad kid. Or we could use the MGI and ask why (to ourselves). This student is observed to be in distress. They probably have a learned angry behavior and being young their brain isn't fully developed and does not know another way to handle their emotions. 

We have a student that often gives attitude. The parent has identified that the attitude occurs with them as well. We could decide that this student is just a pre-teen full of undesirable attitude.  We could say that she is a bad kid with a bad attitude. Maybe we might even believe the behavior is intentional to anger us. Or we can use the MGI and look at the bigger picture. The home life. The instability. The tired look in her eyes. We do not excuse the behavior, but we see the bigger picture. We don't take it personally. We hold her accountable but also when she is ready to talk and hear reason, we give her understanding.

When my daughter takes her sweet time getting ready for bed at night I try hard to remember to give her the MGI. She loves to play with her stuffies. She loves to play school. She loves to read books. She loves to spend time with mom. She isn't being defiant and bad. She is taking her time to gain more time. MGI. She doesn't want to be alone in her bedroom. If I take time to acknowledge her feelings and express my own she can learn bedtime is not the worst time. Yelling at her to go to bed will not help her feel better about being alone. Yelling at her will not help her get ready for bed faster.

As educators we can look at our students behaviors and ask ourselves why and give the most generous interpretation.

Dr. Brene Brown also did some research into the MGI. Her findings tell us that those who are generous with their interpretations of others words and actions are happier and more fulfilled.

Extending the MGI helps those in the crisis moment and helps those handling the crisis moment.

 Could you try to look at a student and give them the MGI of their behaviors and attitude?