Resilience and Thriving

Tough times call for tough people. Not only do we need some tough immune systems, we need tough minds.

Being quarantined at home and being asked to practice social distancing can have detrimental effects on our mental health. While social introverts rejoice and feel validated, many others are feeling alone and question how to spend their days.

There are several ways we can continue our mindfulness lifestyle and strengthen our mental resilience.

I have been working to follow posts from others, listening to podcasts, and do some researching to be able to provide resources to strengthen us all.

Please take some time to explore and add in the comments any you have.

During this time of global shut down, many zoo, museums, and national parks are putting together online options. This link below takes you on a journey through calming art around the world.
Zen Art

Josh Gad, or as our children know him Olaf, is taking time to read nightly to children.
Story time with Olaf

A variety of stories read by different celebrities.
Storyline Online

Daily Yoga classes, each day focuses on a different age group
Bee You Yoga

Mindful.org is offering a free 30 day mindfulness course
Find Calm and Nourish Resilience

This is a great Facebook page to follow. It has uplifting ideas, graphics, and is very positive.
Unwritten Endings, LLC - Youth & Family Therapy

Here is a link that has previously been shared, but worth sharing again. Animals provide a great sense of calm, entertainment, and education.
EarthCam - Animals

If the weather isn't cooperating and allowing for some outside time, here is a link to take virtual tours of 30 national parks.
National Parks

Don't forget mindfulness is about the present moment. Fully experiencing the here and now. A fun way to immerse yourself in some Disney World rides is in the link below. Take a ride and fully commit to being present and see how great the experience can feel.
Disney Rides

Finding Words of Wisdom in the RAIN

I have included a YouTube video of sounds of rain, as a nice back drop to this post.

This week we will talk about Tara Brach's acronym RAIN and mindful self compassion.
Tara adapted her RAIN from the work of Michele McDonald. Both follow the same RAI but vary when it comes to the N. Both have a beautiful way to look at the mindful practice of self compassion.

McDonald's RAIN

Brach's RAIN

R: Recognize what is going on
A: Allow the experience to be there, just as it is
I: Investigate with interest and care
N: (McDonald) Non-Identification, have the thought or feeling but not be it
     (Brach) Nurture with self-compassion

Brach shares that you can use RAIN as a stand-alone meditation or you can move through the steps whenever challenging feelings arise.

As I researched this topic and explored utilizing RAIN, I took time to relate it back to our basic definition of mindfulness.
At the beginning of the school year we started our mindful journey with the definition, "Paying attention, on purpose, without judgment."

Looking at RAIN you can begin to see connections to our definition.

R: Recognize or Pay Attention
A: Allow or With Out Judgement, simply accepting the feeling as being present
I: Investigate or On Purpose, having the intention of being with your feeling and understanding it
N: Non-Identification/Nurture- to me this last part is simply what we are striving to help ourselves and students achieve with the practice of mindfulness, the ability to have self-compassion and accept our feelings without becoming them.

Understanding each part of RAIN can help us explore and utilize it when it is needed.

R: Recognize What's Going On
This simply means to consciously acknowledge, in the present moment, the thoughts and feelings  that are present and affecting you.

A: Allow the Experience to be There, Just as It Is
This means that you allow the feelings, thoughts, and emotions to be present without judgement and without trying to fix them.

As I explored the A, I thought about The Beatles song, Let It Be. Some of the lyrics really connected to mindfulness for me. The lyrics repeat over and over in various ways that in times of trouble find words of wisdom, let it be. "And when the brokenhearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be." "And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me, shine on until tomorrow, let it be."

The A in RAIN teaches us to feel our emotions and let them be.  Mindfulness is our light, shinning until tomorrow. We can accept the feelings as real, present, and ours. We do not need to reject the feelings because we are sacred, angry, or confused. Mindfulness is teaching us to allow them to exist without judging them. As we move into the I of rain we can then investigate and begin to understand their presence in our lives.

I: Investigate with Interest and Care and Kindness
After we take time to recognize what emotions are arising within us, then we can take time to deepen our attention and explore or investigate. We can take time to get to know our feelings and truly understand them. Brach shares that we can begin to ask ourselves the questions, What emotion wants my attention? How am I experiencing the emotions in my body? What do I need?

Again, as we did with A, we are making sure to explore and investigate without judgement. Our emotions exist within us for a reason. To promote a more accepting self-view we need to ensure that we engage our feelings without judgement.

N: Nurture with Self-Compassion and Loving Awareness/ Non-Identification
Mindfulness brings us here, to our response. What do we need? What do our students need? What emotion have we explored and where did we feel it in our bodies? What nurturing does our body need if those feelings were not positive? This is where we rest and sense our feelings but do not become them. We can feel our anger, but not become it. We can feel our sadness, but not become it. We can then work on the healing feelings we need to invite into our bodies. Do we need reassurance? Forgiveness? Acceptance? Friendship? Love? Kindness? Compassion? Understanding? Think about  what your students need. How can you help them work through RAI to get to N.

How can you help your students experience being in RAIN?

Try this week to take one letter a day to explore RAIN. Experience one RAIN drop of knowledge a day. Then on Friday, let it pour down RAIN. Take a few minutes to immerse your class in a healing RAIN shower.


This last link again reflects on Brach's RAIN and includes a mindful meditation practice you can utilize with your students once you have explored RAIN.

RAIN Mindful Meditation w/ Tara Brach

Create A Class Of Zebras

What level is your stress response set to today?

What level is the stress response of your students?

Dr. Robert Sapolsky wrote a book entitled; Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers: Stress and Health, in this book he shares insight regarding human stress and health. Dr. Sapolsky shares that for animals, such as a zebra, stress response hormones are only turned on for a short time. His example is a lion chasing a zebra. The zebra turns on its stress hormones only during the chase. Once the zebra is safe the hormones are shut off. The typical time for the animal to run it’s stress hormones is a few seconds or minutes at a time.

In contrast, humans turn on stress hormones for any number of things which may be reasonable or even unreasonable. Humans then leave those stress responses turned on for hours, days, weeks, months, and for some years at a time. When we leave our stress hormones turned on our bodies turn off other hormones, such as growth hormones.

If we think about this information in relations to our students, after we are done stressing about what we are doing to our own bodies, we can begin to reflect more deeply on the need to engage in mindfulness.

Remember our statistic about mindfulness reducing teacher stress by 43%?

The website Mindworks.org reports that scientific research shows a mindfulness practice conducted for a few minutes, once a day, helps students be better able to cope with stress.

Many of our students turn on their stress response hormones as soon as they wake up in the morning. Many of our students live each day with stress hormones on daily.

Dr. Sapolsky shares in his lectures, which you can watch online, that history is full of examples of people who are considered abnormally small for non-genetic reasons. His example, that he states he finds over and over again in books is JM Berrie, the author of Peter Pan. JM  came from a family of tall men and yet he reached only about 5'2". As a child JM's younger brother died. The son that died was the favorite child of JM's mother. Biographies of JM share that for the rest of his childhood JM's mother stayed in bed in a state of depression. When JM would visit her, she would make comments that she hoped her favorite son had returned, however when she saw who it was she would then say, "oh it's only you."

Imagine being addressed by someone who cares, not with your name, not with an endearing nickname, but with "oh it's only you."

This has me reflecting on the email shared by Mrs. Dixon. In case you don't remember I have included the image she had in her weekly email.

I have made it my mindful task this week to not only say "good morning friend", but to say a student's name. I want them to know I care. I want to mindfully reduce stress and help their bodies and minds be ready to grow.

A great mindfulness to reduce stress is our Butterfly Relaxation, which is a card I have in my mindfulness library. Inner Explorer also has several relaxation meditation sessions. Try one this week. With parent teacher conferences we need some stress reduction too.

I have found some other helpful resources I would like to share.

https://www.rachaelkable.com/blog/increase-resilience-and-decrease-stress



Rachael Kable also has a podcast called The Mindful Kind. #129 is called Mindfulness for Stress Prevention.

I encourage us all to take some time this week to have at least one mindfulness session focused on stress reduction. It can be as simple as turning down the lights, having on calming music, and reviewing butterfly breathing, spider man breathing, mountain breathing, and statue breathing. Another good stress reduction breathing is Pink Bubble Breathing. This is another breathing technique from my activity cards. You can teach your students to place stress into the bubble, while doing deep breathing, and release the bubble and let the stress float away.

Are you In Grouping or Out Grouping your students?

What is the driving force of your classroom?

What is your driving force?

Social Identity Theory and the idea of In-Group and Out-Group may be shaping your classroom without your awareness.

Henri Tajfel in 1979 explored the idea of how our social identity impacts how we interact with others. He stated that our sense of who we are is based on the in-groups we belong to and how we view our in-group verses how we view the out-groups.

Our in-groups create a sense of belonging.

Brene Brown shares that our actions are driven by a need to belong.

H.Tajfel proposes that our self-esteem is driven by belonging to an in-group.

Once we have an in-group we identify with we then create a sense of “us” verses “them”. The us and them scenario can comfort but it can also create conflict and stereotyping. When we begin to stereotype, exaggerations occur. The exaggerations of, the difference between the in-groups and out-groups and also the exaggerations of the similarities within the in-groups.

If you have been trying to practice mindfulness in your classroom and it has not been working consider the social identity theory. Take some time to ask yourself if you are in an out-group from your students. If you are in an out-group, has your classroom become a “me” verses “them” scenario?

Mindfulness research shows that we need to practice mindfulness to be fully able to teach mindfulness. We need to create a shared identity that mindfulness matters.

It would be worth your time to explore ways to create a more in-group environment in your classroom. Connect with your students. Create a shared identity that will drive connection.

Naturally your classroom will be “in-group/students” and to your students “out-group/teacher”. According to H.Taifel there are three stages of mental processes related to social identity. 

1. Categorization

2. Social Identification 

3. Social Comparison

The final stage, social comparison, creates rivalry between groups. Those in an in-group/students, will see the teacher as a rival and do what they feel is necessary to maintain identity with the in-group/students. This often means following the rules they believe other students in their in-group have set as membership qualifications.

Ex: A student who is quiet and keeps to themselves is asked to sign a paper written by many more outspoken students. This quiet student agrees to sign, not knowing what they are signing, to ensure they remain in the in-group.

When it comes to mindfulness these in-group/out-group mentalities can derail your efforts.

Take some time to explore students needs. Utilize mindfulness as a connection with your students.

Inner Explorer has a lesson called Connection-Differences (#69 for grades 1-4 and #68 for grades 5-7), this explores ways we are similar to others and ways we are different an how to connect. These practices help students use their minds to explore connections with the world around them and the people in the world around them.

Making Mindfulness a part of life, not set apart from life.

This week let's take a step back and explore some research and reasons for mindfulness.

A recently published study out of Harvard, in conjunction with MIT and the Center for Educational Policy Research, found that mindfulness is connected with: higher grades, higher standardized test scores in math and ELA, better school attendance, and fewer suspensions. (Gutierrez, Krachman,Scherer, West, & Gabieli, 2019)

These findings were across the board, even accounting for; gender, economic disadvantage, race/ethnicity, English language learners, and special education students. 

Knowing that mindfulness helps, no matter a station in life, is an empowering reason to build mindfulness into our day.

Daniel Rechtschaffen, in his book, The Way of Mindful Education, shares that the rich-poor achievement gap is up 40% in 30 years, (Reardon, 2013).

If we look at this information we can plainly see that there is an unmistakably large gap in achievement based on economic status. At the same time we can also observe that mindfulness helps increase achievement across the board, no matter economic status.

Why wouldn't we utilize this tool of mindfulness to help close this achievement gap and support our students?

D. Rechtschaffen continues on in his book to share that impoverished students are more likely to drop our of school, develop addictions, and end up incarcerated.

What if we could help reduce this likelihood by giving our students a tool which will support them not only in school, but in all aspects of their daily lives?

As we explore why mindfulness is beneficial let's also take some time to reflect on what mindfulness is and what it is not.

I was talking about mindfulness with my sister over the weekend and learned that the high school she teachers at tried it for a time. The teacher that utilized it, utilized it in an unproductive manner and mindfulness got a bad reputation. Due to this poor reputation mindfulness was stopped. My sister shared that students were using mindfulness as nap time and missing class and the rest of the teachers had to play catch-up with student learning.

Mindfulness isn't about napping. It may relax you enough that you fall asleep but it has a deeper purpose.

Some see mindfulness as a way to eliminate emotions, or reactions to emotions which they do not wish to see in their classroom. Mindfulness isn't about ridding our lives of the negative emotions. In mindfulness we do not dismiss our feelings but rather try to understand them, embrace them, learn from them, and then release them in a healthy and productive way.

One emotion that people most often would like to eliminate in students is anger.

I met with a group of 4th grade girls the other day and asked them "what emotion do you believe you are not allowed to show at school?" They all answered with a synonym for anger. Sadly students and adults often believe they need to get rid of, suppress, or eliminate the emotion of anger.

There is nothing wrong with being anger.

You are not wrong to have anger.

Mindfulness teaches us to accept our anger, process where it is coming from, sit with the anger, and then let it go in a healthy way.

Mindfulness can help us productively channel and display an emotion.

Mindfulness isn't about making challenging students easier to handle, but rather, it opens the doors of our hearts, minds, and classrooms to a new understanding of those students. Mindfulness helps us accept the present state our students arrive to school in and helps us extend more understanding and empathy.

                                      

Pause.

Breathe.

Make it happen.

Make mindfulness a part of your daily routine. Don't set it apart from your routine. Normalize. Practice. Display. Participate. Encourage.

Structure into your day mindfulness. Consider times such as; first thing in the morning, after lunch, after recess, after specials, or at the end of the day.

Mindfulness education research shares with us that to effectively teach mindfulness to our students we need to practice it ourselves.

This week consider how you can make your classroom a more mindful environment that sets your class and yourself up for success.

Perhaps printing a photo you or your students find calming. Place that photo in your calm down corner, or in various places around the room.

Engage your students in the process of creating a mindful classroom. Participation creates ownership.

Remember you have many tools available to you including; Inner Explorer, this blog, and resources in my office....and me!

Empower Ourselves, Comfort Our Students....and other lessons I learned from a hostage negotiator

At first glance you may not see the mindful benefits of learning tips from a FBI hostage negotiator, but don't worry, you'll understand by the end.

When we are mindful for ourselves we learn to be at peace with the interactions we encounter when we engage with our students. Mindfulness allows us to be able to accept when our students say the word "no". 

Chris Voss, who was the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator prior to his retirement, can help us word our sentences in such a way that we actually get our students to give us the answer "no". The answer which is what we mindfully want.

Surprised or put off? Understandable, but keep reading, don't give up on this idea.

Science has found that the word no creates a sense of comfort for those who us it. It is empowering and can help settle stomachs. Studies have shown that the answer "yes" creates a sense of conditional obligation that people most of the time are not ready to commit themselves to making and keeping. 

Science has also shown us that the human brain only has the capacity to make a set amount of decisions in a day. High power individuals typically wear the same or very similar outfits on a daily basis. When asked about this they will report that they do not want to waste brain power early in the morning on clothing choices. They save their days decisions for more complex and important aspects of their day.

Chris Voss, in his blog on using the word "no" talks about how by the end of the day if you ask him anything other than a "no-oriented" question it is likely you aren't getting an answer right away. Ask him a "no-oriented" question and he doesn't have to make a decision and you get an immediate answer.

Aren't there times you want an immediate answer from a student and you don't get one?

Chris Voss has shared some very easy "no-oriented" question starters.

*Is it ridiculous...

*Would it be horrible...

*Is it a bad idea...

And the one that might fit school the best:

*Have you given up on...

This last one triggers the safety of "no" and the Prospect Theory. 

Prospect Theory is the idea that loss aversion drives action more than the desire to gain.

People are two times more likely to take action to avoid a loss than they are to accomplish a gain.

Example of use:

You observe a student not working. This student frequently will not work on assignments. You have had confrontations in the past and interventions to help haven't worked well. This time you try a "no-oriented" question.

"Have you given up on this assignment?"

More often than not a student will say "no" to avoid trouble, or loss. This can then open a conversation about their struggles preventing them from working.

"I'm glad you haven't given up, now that we know you want to complete the assignment lets work on the ways we can help you."

Another great use for "no-oriented" questions is putting them in place of a "what" or "how" question. "No" is quicker to answer and can actually lead to better, more open discussions.

Have you ever asked a student " Why are you doing that?" and you get a shrug, an "I don't know" or a "'cuz".

What if you changed the question to, " Is this a bad idea..." "Is this a productive idea..." ?

Asking if something is a productive idea can then lead to asking them to help explore productive ideas.

Now that we have explored the use of "no", lets circle back to mindfulness.

Using our mindful strategies of wishing a student well, starting with the heart, taking a deep breath, accepting an answer and letting go of a feeling; can help you begin utilizing "no-oriented" questions.

Another great mindful way to think about no is how it feels to say no. We have already established that "no" comforts us and calms anxiety. 

Mindfully giving your student a time to say "no" can increase their focus and ability to remain calm and ready them to work.

"No" can support you as well.  When you are able to say "no" it takes away stress of commitment, it relaxes you and gives you time, and creates a comfort of control. We can't always say no, we have commitments we have to make and keep. There are times we need to back away and take care of ourselves. Reflect on our self-care mindfulness. "No" is another form of self-care.

In times of brain fatigue, give yourself some self-care and utilize "no-oriented" questions and say "no" when you can.

Here is the mindfulness challenge for the week:

Reflect on a question you often use with a student. Is it "no-oriented"? If it is, great, keep up the good work. Chances are it is not and you just answered "No"(you're welcome for an easy answer and limiting your brain fatigue).

I want you to sit mindfully, take some good deep breaths, utilize the 4-7-8 pattern we learned in the fall training. Breathe in for 4, as you breathe in think about the question you often use with students. Hold that question in your brain and focus on how it works or does not work with students, as you hold your breath for 7. Then release that question as you breath out for 8.

Next, lets do the same pattern for a "no-oriented" question. Consider which you would like to try and think about it as you breathe in for 4. Hold it in your brain and consider which student it would work best for as you hold for 7. Then release your breath for 8 and make the commitment to try it this week. 

This weeks mindfulness is much more for our own benefit in the immediate sense. In the long term it will benefit our students as we show them more compassion and understanding.

Remember to come visit my office and take a look in my mindfulness library. Explore my Mindful Activity cards and see if one fits with how your class is doing this week. Utilize Inner Explorer and consider making it a daily class activity.

Leverage the human inclination to say "no". Make "No" work for you. Mindfully say "no" and mindfully accept "no".

                                  

A Nature of Courage with Heart

What is your nature? 

The Old Man and The Scorpion

When you are working hard to teach a student, one whom others (or perhaps you) feel does not want to learn, do you give up? Or do you show courage and persist? Who's nature controls your actions? 

Think about the story of the old man and the scorpion when you consider how mindfulness is going in your classroom. When the students resist do you back away or do you persist? Is your nature one of courage? 

Brene Brown teaches that courage is being willing to be vulnerable with others and yourself. Brene defines vulnerable as; doing something in the face of, Uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. She goes on to tell us that vulnerability is not weakness but the truest measure of courage. Are you practicing mindfulness with your students, showing them you are open to this new activity? Are you displaying the truest measure of courage? Are you leading by example?

Mindfulness takes courage. We need to be willing in the face of uncertainty to take a risk and display emotional exposure to our students.

Take time to sit, eyes closed, with your students.
Take time to take deep breaths and be present.

This week try being courageous enough to do mindfulness with your students.

If you are feeling bold try heartful mindfulness. Remember our heartfulness? This is where you feel a positive feeling toward someone you do not feel connected to or you may even struggle to like.

Heartfulness is taking time to stand at each students desk and think one positive thought about them and focus on that all day. This is not easy for us as adults. This is extremely difficult for our students.

Inner Explorer has some great Heartful Mindfulness. These practices are titled "Start with the Heart."

Using our heart takes courage.
If we stay true to our nature, courage doesn't have to be challenging.

Again I want to ask, do you allow the struggles in your class to change your nature to help and teach?
Or no matter how many times you are stung with disappointment and frustration do you persist?

This week you may be having a friendship party in your class. How amazing would it be to look around your class and see true friendships forming? Heartful Mindfulness can help.

This week lets "Start with the heart."

In my mindfulness library I have Mindful Games Activity Cards, one of which is titled " Friendly wishes for difficult people." This card invites you to lie down or sit down in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Then bring to mind an image of a person who is difficult for you to be around, but you would like to send well wishes. Send them well wishes! Next, open your eyes, take a deep breath and see how you feel.

The card also has a guided visualization and a few tips to share. Remember you are always welcome to come check out the resources and utilize them with your class.

Let's take time this week to be courageous, use heartfulnes, and stay true to a nature of helping.