Hurry Up and Grow Up

 The Hurried Child.

The first time you hear this term you may believe that it refers to us making children "hurry up" or "move faster." 

The truth is making our children or students move fast is not The Hurried Child of Hurried Child Syndrome. Hurried Children are those who are overscheduled and forced to grow up too fast. Their life is hurried.

Look around your classroom, chances are you have a lot of hurried children. 

This week I want to take time to talk about the hurried child , who they are, what are the causes, what we might see because of it, and how we can support these children.

If you have children you may be familiar with; playdates, sports starting young, music lessons, clubs, etc. We, as a society, are known to schedule and over-schedule our children. We believe that old adage of "ideal hands" and not allowing boredom because that leads to mischief.  

There is a problem with making sure our children are always on the go. No childhood. No time to be bored. No free time. No down time. No time to decompress. No creative time. No self-care time.

Hurried Child Syndrome is borne from over-scheduling our children. It can also be borne from children that have to grow up too fast and parent their younger siblings.

Look around your classroom, chances are you have a lot of hurried children.

How can you spot a hurried child?

-Do you have a student focused on winning...all of the time?

-Do you have a hyper-focused student?

-Do you have a student who is extremely competitive?

-Do you have a student who can tell you all about the family finances?

-Do you have a student who knows all the family drama? Mom's dating life? Dad's dating life?

If you can answer yes to any of those, chances are, you have a hurried child.

In the 1980's David Elkind, PhD first presented finding and coined Hurried Child Syndrome. Dr. Elkind shared that we are forcing our children to grow up too fast. We are hurrying up their childhoods. And we are causing potentially life long problems.

Parents, even well-meaning parents, have become increasingly more likely theses days to put their children into situations that exceed their developmental capabilities. 

We are creating mini adults and not allowing children to just be kids.

Our children who fall into the hurried child category may have struggles with sleep, poor eating habits, and may not get enough physical activity. These children may also have stalled emotional development, feelings of unworthiness, and have an obsession with achievement. These children may also have an inability to have meaningful relaxation and may even express resentment and defiance toward parents.

A Hurried Child may also display

-stress

-anxiety

-lack of free play (they may not play at recess because they do not know how)

-perfectionism

-loss of interest in hobbies

-emotional detachment

-excessive use of technology 

How can we help??

We can't tell parents to let go and stop over-scheduling their children. We can't ask parents to be parents and let their children be kids. But we can help.

As a parent I had a moment recently of letting go of my child's schedule. Leila told me she wanted a break from ballet. She told me she did three shows and that was a lot. While her dad and I love watching her shows and we know she loves dancing (she dances around the house daily) we had to leave it up to her. I wanted to sign her up again. Dad asked her if she was really sure she didn't want to do the class. In the end she picked no ballet. And in all honesty it's a nice break from taking her to classes twice a week. Letting my child tell me she felt hurried helped me out too.

As educators we can provide down time. 

Recess.

Fun Friday.

Friendship parties.

Brain breaks.

We can encourage emotional awareness. 

Inner Explorer (spring challenge coming soon) Don't let students work during this time. Don't let them color or draw. Tell them to sit quietly and be still. They need to learn to be still. To live in the moment. To be in the moment of calm and peace.

It may seems like small ways for us at school. But it can have a big impact on a hurried child.