Caring for Success

Who comes to mind when you read the above quote?

Who needs you to look past the problem and see the possibilities? 

How do you handle problems? Punish or Teach Skills? 

I hope that you took a minute to watch the link above. I love Dr. Becky Kennedy. I watch her videos and end up doing a lot of self reflection on my parenting skills and my communication with students.

In her TED talk, Rita Pierson, an educator, shares that every student needs a champion. 

Our students need us to be their champions.

Our students need us to teach them skills, not punish them for lacking skills.

This week I had a great conversation with a middle school teacher. He shared that he is doing mindfulness three times a day. He went on to say that the students grumble at the beginning but he does it anyway. He stated that he knows they need it because he has observed them to be calmer after.

Our students grumble and complain when new and uncomfortable things are introduced. DO NOT GIVE UP. DO NOT GIVE IN. 

Being a champion for our students looks like pushing them to try a new thing.

Being a champion for our students looks like consistency.

Being a champion for our students looks like teaching them skills (they are missing) instead of punishing them for the behavior which resulted from the lack of skills.

As we enter into testing season, it is important to take time, as adults, to ask ourselves if we are championing our students.

A mindfulness technique we can utilize is positive brain training. Make sure that each interaction focuses on a positive outlook. "I noticed you are enjoying a really good book. I hope later you can tell me all about it. Now, however, is the time for the activity I have provided."

Championing a student looks like giving them a task or job to let them know they are needed and important. Utilize a skill they have (that may need to be refocused) and use it to create a positive experience for the student (and you!). "I noticed you love to move around the room a lot in the morning, can I have you use that energy to move around and greet all of our students?"

Working with our students, in a partnership, helps them see we care builds a trusting relationship. 

Another thing to think about is, “When kids feel in control, they act in control”- Dr. Becky Kennedy

                    You could be a students caring adult helping to build their success story.
 

The Mindfulness of Movement

Mindfulness comes in many forms. Some you may not consider at first glance. One such mindfulness you might dismiss is, movement.

Movement is more than just fidgeting, getting up and walking a lap around a classroom, or stretching your arms above your head. Movement is a specific form, such as; martial arts, yoga, and dance.

Studies out of Harvard Medical School show that dancing supports motor, emotional, and intellectual brain function. 

A study printed in the New England Journal of Medicine found that dancing improves brain health. More specifically memory. In fact, when looking at golf, swimming, tennis, cycling, and dance; dance showed the best results for memory support. Studies on dancing are showing us that dance can reduce the risk of dementia by 76%. Some doctors are even discovering the benefits of dance for those living with Parkinson's. The website news-medical.net shares that dancing has also been shown to reduce symptoms of depression. 

It is important to understand that we are not simply talking about turning on music and letting our students go wild and calling it dancing. We are talking about synchronized, choreographed, and mimicked movements. 

Studies show that when we mimic movement or synchronize movement we improve self-esteem. It has also been found that this type of movement helps us like others more. Perhaps the next time there is conflict in your class you take a dance break. Have students pair up and move in unison.

Yoga is a great type of movement which can reduce the severity of symptoms of PTSD to the point patients no longer meet the criteria for diagnosis.  

Take time to move with purpose and in synchronization with others. Help your students and help your self. Get up. Get moving, with purpose. 

Mini Vacation of the Mind

As we are working hard on our mindfulness challenge utilizing the program Inner Explorer, I wanted to take some time to share some of the research backing mindful mediation.

I love reading research and finding new information. Sometimes it changes my mind on a subject. Other times it helps me solidify my resolve, giving me concrete evidence as to why I believe something to be a good or not so good thing.

As I looked at current research on mindful mediation I read a lot of information of which I am very familiar. But something stood out and it's a must share before we review what we know.

New research from Harvard Medical School has found that a mindful mediation practice can reduce stress levels longer term than a vacation. 

Maybe we can start to think of mindful moments as mini vacations for the mind and body.

On the website, earthweb.com it says that mindfulness can help reduce suspensions by 45%. 

It takes time and dedication. But wouldn't you rather invest time in mindfulness rather than  wasting time with unwanted behaviors. 

The Harvard study also found that students' overall school performance improves when schools utilize mindfulness.

We are not simply investing time in the day-to-day but in the whole person and whole life. We are setting up our students for a future in which they will have self-control, focus, and the ability to calm down during high stress times.

The mindfulness program we use has great test taking mindfulness, school safety mindfulness, and so much more. We can help students find a calm and peace after a fire drill or lock down drill. We can support a healthy mindset and calm body before a test. 

Studies have also shown that mindful meditation can also improve memory and concentration. 

If a class of kindergarteners can do it, a class of 8th graders can do it.

If a class of 1st graders can do it, the staff can do it too, with their students.

Take time to enrich your own life. Studies show that mindfulness can reduce anxiety, depression, and help improve your overall health.

The American Psychological Association reports that mindfulness can help you become less distracted and have high levels of productivity. 

In all of my research I have yet to find a downside to giving mindfulness a try. 

We just closed out the month of courage. Have courage to try something new.

We are now beginning the month of encouragement. I encourage you to try something new. For you. For your students. 

For your students today. And for their future.

Build The Skill

"Stop overreacting!"

"Why are you reacting that way?"

"No need to be so dramatic."

"You don't need to cry about it."

"No one else is acting this way, why are you?"

"You know how to act better" 

Let's take a moment and pause and reflect. Have you ever said any of these statements? We all have. They come out before we think about it. The last statement on our list is why we are here this week. Do our students really know how to act better? Who has taught them? Who has shown them?

For many of our students, their home life is not filled with important life lessons on how to handle emotions and overcome obstacles. For many students they are the "adult" at home. For many students they are taught to "suck it up." Many of our students do not have someone at home teaching them how to regulate their emotions. We need to step in and support.

What were you taught as a child? Were you taught to identify an emotion, label it and learn from it? Or were feelings just not talked about in your home? Ignore the "bad" or "negative" emotions and they will go away. Expect the positive emotions at all times. Have you ever been told to smile? Subtext, just be happy all of the time. 

Children learn to regulate emotions from us. It starts with co-regulation as we show and teach them how to handle the more challenging emotions. 

In the past I have shared how I have intentionally worked with my own children on how to handle and express emotions. Before Leila really understood what I was talking about I would simply pick her up and take exaggerated deep breaths during a typical toddler meltdown (they are normal it has to do with limited communication stills and lack of emotional regulation skills). I was able to observe her meltdown to end in less than a minute. Her breathing synced up with mine. Her mirror neurons couldn't help but fire across synapsis and create a neural connect to breathing and calming down.

How do you react to unwanted behaviors in the classroom? Are you helping your students react?

The website Turnaroundusa.org says this about a co-regulated classroom:

"While it might feel counterintuitive in the moment, the best way we can create classrooms conducive to learning is not to demand compliance, but to lean into attuned, responsive relationships that empower students to own their learning and be accountable to their community."

I love the language they use, words such as; attuned responsive relationships, empower students, and accountable to community.

Co-regulating is an interactive approach. It is a partnership between students and adults. 

When we meet students needs where they are at emotionally, not where we are at emotionally, we build a trusting and caring relationship. When a student feels a sense of belonging they want to be in class and they are open and receptive to learning. 

Begin co-regulation by practicing in mindfulness with your students. Use I-Feel language. Put up a Mood Meter. Encourage positive empowering statements that begin I Can, I Will, I Am.

When we talk with students about how their actions make us feel, without judgment they can learn how they affect others.

 "I feel disheartened when....because... I would like to help you find new ways to ..."

Let students know what you notice. Let them know you see them, as a person, not just an action.

The way you wish a student would react to a situation is exactly what you need to first show with your actions and then teach with your words. They will only have the skill once you give it to them.

 

Wild Butterflies

 

"Your brain didn't evolve for you to think and feel and see, it actually evolved for you to control your body."-Lisa Feldman Barrett, professor of psychology at Northeastern University

Dr. Feldman Barrett has also been quoted as saying, "Mindfulness buys you the capacity to easily shift the focus of attention, which allows you the re-conceptualize easier. To predict better."

The picture above is another lessons on accepting an emotion instead of dismissing the emotion. As we begin to think about testing season we may want to think about the feelings of nervousness, anxiety, and worry. Perhaps, in your life, you struggle with these emotions yourself. Our duty to our minds and bodies is not to get rid of the emotion but rather to figure out how to work with the emotion. Get those butterflies in formation.

Next week starts our annual 21 days until Spring Break Mindfulness Challenge. We can take control of our bodies, as Dr. Feldman Barrett shared is the reason why our brain evolved. Dr. Feldman Barrett also has also shared that mindfulness gives us that capacity to take control.

Before we begin the challenge take some time to explore Inner Explorer or even sign up if you haven't yet. The link below is to our school account.

https://ieorg.page.link/dEVF6vgKNFsgF8Gq5

Did you know that you can invite families to join? You can send a link to families which allows practice time outside of school. You can also utilize the Tune In section of the program to connect families to your class mindfulness experience. 

Do you need help utilizing Inner Explorer? Here are our top 10 mindfulness champions!

With a short week comes a short blog. (I need to get us ready for the challenge.) 

Please reach out if you need help with setting up Inner Explorer. More details will be coming soon regarding the challenge.

Instagram Happiness

 Instagram Happiness. Social Media Fake. Toxic Positivity.

Just Think Positive.

Fake it till You Make it.

If you Look Happy then you'll Be Happy.

Good Vibes Only.

We have all fallen into the trap of feeling that we must always look on the brighter side. In our times of difficulty or sadness we have had others say these platitudes to us. In the face of others' difficulties we have said these statements.

Psychology Today states that Toxic Positivity is a pattern of behavior characterized by social (social media) pressure to display only positive emotions. This behavior invalidates all other feelings. 

A quick Google search of "Good Vibes Only" and you will find poster, sticker, shirt, ect with this saying. You will also find similar sayings such as "Stay Positive."  And I have to admit that as I helped my five-year-old pick out a school outfit last night I noticed she has a shirt that says "Good Vibes Only." We all buy in.

The intention behind these sayings is to encourage, uplift, and inspire ourselves and others to look on the brighter side of life. However, it isn't always bright outside. We cannot always be shiny happy people. And when you are in the darkest part of life it is hard to see the light. When people keep telling you to look for it you feel as if they do not care about your darkness. Not really.

All emotions provide important information. Emotion suppression can backfire. Instead of emotion suppression we need emotion expression. Emotional expression leads to authenticity. 

Robert Frost said " The only way out is through." While Frost was talking about a forest, we can adapt this sentiment to feelings. The only way past them is going through them. To acknowledge them. To accept them. To experience them. To work with them. To reframe them.

How do we learn to express authentic emotions and work through them?

If you said, Mindfulness, you are correct. By now you are not surprised that this is my answer. Let's take a moment to walk back trough Toxic Positivity and what it does to us verse what Mindfulness does for us. 

Toxic Positive is often put into place where sympathy or empathy should be utilized. Sometimes we need a listening ear, not a catchy saying.

A few examples of Toxic Positivity Traps are:

Someone hit my car. At least you didn't get hurt.

This job is frustrating. At least you have a job.

I can't believe I didn't get that raise. Everything happens for a reason.

I don't feel like anyone really cares. You shouldn't feel that way.

....it'll all work out....the best is yet to come...don't worry...stay positive...you'll get through it...

We do not feel heard, cared for, understood, or loved when our feelings and experiences are dismissed. When our feelings do not feel valid, we do not feel valid. 

Mindfulness teaches us how to respond in a way that helps others feel heard, seen, and important.

Researcher Maya Tamir, Ph.D. has found that when you judge our unpleasant emotions negatively, rather than accepting them as they are, you will have worse well-being.

An emotion can be unpleasant and give us a teachable moment. (a yes-and from our last post!)

In an interview on  psychologist Adam Grant's podcast, psychologist Susan David talked about toxic positivity and reframing our emotions. She shared that emotions are not good or bad and we should approach them with compassion, curiosity, and acceptance.   

Our world values our emotional "strength" when we do not show unpleasant emotions in the face of unpleasant times. Susan David in this podcast shared that when her father died she was praised for being strong when she was asked how she was doing and she hid the truth and told others she was doing well.

Susan likes calling Toxic Positive, The Tyranny of Positivity. The definition of tyranny is "all power in the hands of a single ruler." When we do not acknowledge unpleasant emotions we give all power to the pleasant emotions. All Power to the Positive. I kind of feel like that might be the next catchy quote for the Good Vibes Only group.

We cannot and should not live with all power to one emotion. We need to have a compassionate understand for all emotions. 

We need to let our students have a compassionate understanding (mindfulness) of their emotions. We cannot tell students to stop a feeling. We need to help them understand and walk through the feelings. 

Don't Instagram your feelings and only show what you think others want to see. Be authentic. Acknowledge, Accept, Reframe.

The Improv Classroom

Let's spend some time this week gathering lessons from improv. It might sound like a crazy idea, but stick with me. 

First improv is all about being in the moment. Paying attention. Being present. If you do not pay attention then you will not know how to respond. And in improv it is all about the response. This sounds a lot like mindfulness to me. Being present, in the moment, and paying attention. When we do these things we can learn how to respond to emotions and situations in a healthy way.

Next we have what Keegan-Michael Key calls "backing up to discover." In an interview regarding improv Keegan-Michael Key (you know Substitute Teacher...you done messed up A-Aron) shared that he sees improv as backing up to discover the larger world. In impro you build the story from the words you are given and the world around you. You have to create something from seeing a larger view not a smaller view. What if we did this with our classrooms and students?

Often times we zero in on a students' flaw. We focus on the small moments and problems without looking at the bigger picture. Back up. Discover. 

This week a kinder friend was having a challenging moment. The classics; not listening, not following directions, purposefully ignoring a teacher. In stead of focusing on the moment we took some time to get the bigger picture. We backed up and listened to discover. This friend shared some changes at home. Things aren't stable. She's not in control. And what do humans do when they do not feel in control in one aspect of their lives...they try to control another. This little one was controlling what she did and did not do in class. 

Back up. Discover.

Along the lines of looking at a bigger picture, Seth Rogan has shared that he feels improv is about the story not the joke. He says that great improv actors play it as a writer not someone trying to land the joke. They ask, what is the story here? A joke might land but it might not move the story forward. One joke does not a scene make. You need more to move forward.

For us that means asking what the story is, not just the moment. What can I do move the story forward? 

Have you ever had a situation happen with a student and then it feels like you are stuck in that moment? The student doesn't know how to move past the moment. You struggle to move on. What will move the story forward...you addressing a concern and being done with it or you holding on to the moment and bringing it back up at other times? When we get stuck on what happened we miss the why and we stop the story. We do not move forward and neither does the student. They need us to move forward to show them how to move forward after a situation.

Step Back. Discover. Move the Story Forward. 

Another great lesson improv is Improv 101: Yes...And

In improv the idea of Yes...And is to set up a scene and always agree and expand. Never say no. 

An improv lesson from Tina Fey

The idea of Yes..And in the classroom is not about always agreeing with a student, but rather teaching them that two things can be true at one time.

Another lesson from kindergarten this week is a Yes...And... moment. A friend was struggling because she wanted to go home. She missed mom. We were able to talk with her about Yes, you miss mom, but you can have an And such as, I can have fun at school. Yes: I miss mom. And: I can have fun at school. 

We can use Yes...And... to help our students see that being upset, sad, or angry about one thing does not mean we have to be upset, sad, or angry about all things. 

Yes: Another student called me a mean name. And: I am doing better in math and that is my real focus.

Yes: I am tired. And: I am still going to do my work and be productive.

Yes: I would rather be at home. And: I am going to be at school and do my work.

Yes: I am feeling sad and do not want to talk about it. And: I am going to be brave and talk about it.

We can help our students work out of a place of being stuck in one emotion by introducing them to the idea that two emotions can both be true at the same time.

Yes...And... can work for adults too.

Yes: I am frustrated with my class. And: I am going to be positive with them today.

Yes: I am tired and did not want to come in today. And: I am here and I am ready to go.

Yes: I am struggling in my personal life. And: That has nothing to do with my students so at school I will focus on them.

Yes...And... can also teach us lessons on courage.

In a psychology today article it was shared that Yes... And... as a New Years Resolution can help you experience new things you've been too afraid to try.

Yes: I am scared to skydive. And: I am going to do it with a friend.

What are your Yes... And... statements?

What might a Yes... And... statement be for your students? 

Yes I had a bad moment. And my teacher really listened. They stepped back. Discovered my why. And helped me move my story and day forward.