Mindful Christmas Time

 

We are in the homestretch of school before break. We are getting ready to spend time away from work and hopefully enjoy time to rest and recharge. 

For some this season is stressful. The hustle and bustle. The gift buying. The decorating. The baking. The cooking. The cleaning for family. Family. 

For some this season is magical. The lights. The music. The decorations. The treats. The presents. The time with family.

For some this season is mixed. Stressful but also beautiful. We love seeing family. We love seeing family go home.

No matter if you love it or could leave it, you can make it more mindful.

A quick Google regarding how to make Christmas mindful will bring up several lists, tips, and ideas. I have taken the time to read many of them for you and created my own list of the best of the best ideas.

Have Yourself A Mindful Little Christmas (Holiday...Winter...etc...) 

1. Presences not Presents. Be with the ones you are with. Give them the gift of your time and attention. There is nothing worse than looking around a family/friend gathering and seeing everyone on a screen and not interacting. Teach the children in your life to unplug the device and plug into the family.

2. Start with a Stretch. Movement in the morning helps to wake the body. Stretching or an activity such as yoga helps to improve blood flow, posture, and our overall health and mood. YouTube is a great resource. The app FitOn has a lot of free videos that can help you create a morning movement routine. When holiday stress hits combat it with a good stretch.

3. See the Light and Explore Nature. After a good morning stretch take a few minutes to step outside. Research shows that getting morning light helps to balance our circadian rhythm and improve our sleep habits. There has also been some research related to morning sunlight and healthy eating habits. Morning light may be helping balance hormones. Scientists are finding that morning light helps improve hormones related to hunger and satiety (that feeling of being full). If you want to make sure you don't overeat over the holidays try taking a morning walk in the light. 

A walk outside is also a very mindful experience as you connect with the nature around you. This time of year might not be blooming with color and vibrancy but it does give us beauty. Snow glimmers, ice glitters, pine trees show us it is possible to stand tall and full through winter. Animals still scurry. And sometimes, if you catch the right time of day, you can stand still in the peace and quiet of feel the calm.

4. Hydration (like you've never thought about it before....this was a new to me!) We all know the benefits of hydration. We are doing our minds and bodies the absolute best when we ensure we are properly hydrated. But if we are honest, hydration can be a chore, boring, and the mundane. What if you set a goal with your hydration? With every cup of water you finish you take a deep breath in and sit silently taking in your surroundings. Think of a gratitude and sit with yourself. I loved this idea. Make hydration a goal for drinking water and for also taking a mindful moment of peace, calm, and gratitude.

5. Mindfully Make and Eat a Meal. Now that we have hydrated in a mindful way lets take some time to ensure our eating is not done with such gusto that we do not savor or enjoy the meal and the moment. Food can be a large part of the holiday season for many of us. In my family we start the holiday season making sugar cookies. Years ago I started a tradition of taking my grandmother's cinnamon roll recipe and making them on Christmas Eve and having them ready to bake and eat Christmas morning. I use this experience to connect to my family; those who have passed and those who I teach to bake now. Making food for the holidays can be stressful and daunting. Then everyone eats fast and often too much. Take time to enjoy the process. Start a tradition. And then take small bites and slowly eat. Taste the flavors. Savor the smells. Sit in the moment and enjoy.

6. Plan it Out. Keep a Routine. You may not want to keep that 5:00am alarm but try not to sleep until noon. Keep a similar routine helps our bodies stay happy and healthy. Research shows that we should not stray far from our wake-sleep routine. Staying within an hour or two of your normal sleep-wake schedule is good for you mental and physical health. It helps create predictability and consistency in your brain. It helps your body stay on a schedule throughout the day and creates reliability. When we sleep better we think better. With a clear mind we can create a plan for our holiday craziness. Plan ahead when and where you would like to go for the holidays. And if you don't want to plan with someone....

7. Let It Go.  You do not have to see everyone. You do not have to go everywhere. If you made a 'to-do' list and its overwhelming, pick one or two things to let go. If you just cannot make another batch of cookies (no matter how much your husband and children beg) do not feel guilty. Let it go. You do not have have to say yes. In fact, you can...

8. Say No. No I will not be making shortbread cookies, sugar cookies, snowball cookies, peanut butter cookies with the chocolate kiss in the middle. Yes this is an actual list of requested cookies from someone in my house. He will not be getting them all. I will say no. No we will not be opening the all of the gifts on Christmas Eve when grandma and grandpa come. We will only open the gifts from them. This again was a request in my house. That little cutie will learn patience. And I will continue to practice my mindful, 'No'. No helps us prioritize needs and wants. No helps us take time for self care and rest. Give 'No' a try.

9. Build the Happy Memories and make it Meaningful. I know people who do not care for the holiday season. It is mainly due to the commercialism, the money spending, and the feeling you have to buy everything for everyone. I love Christmas. I love the lights. I love the music. I love giving gifts. I love making cookies with my family. My family looks forward to sugar cookie day every December. I love making my grandma's cinnamon rolls. My older sisters have memories of baking with our grandma. I missed out so this is my way of making a memory connected to her. I also use baking to connect to my children and create memories with them. As I shared, years and years ago I asked my mom to teach me my grandma's recipe. I asked to make them for Christmas. This started a tradition of making them every Christmas in our home. Now that we are all grown and out of our parents home my siblings and I still make cinnamon rolls every Christmas morning. Make a memory to share. Make the season meaningful. Start a tradition of decorating a tree while listening to Christmas music and sipping hot cocoa. Ask your family if they want to drive around and look at lights. If we are ready early in the morning we take the long way around our neighborhood and look at Christmas lights. Leila and I love starting our mornings with some Christmas cheer. When we find the meaning and create the memory our minds and bodies find a sense of safety and calm.

10. Rest and Recharge. When all is said and done, relax. Clean up and then sit down. You need to rest. Do not start another to-do list. Do not start a new project. Relax. Turn on your favorite movie. Turn on a really good song. Pop some popcorn. Grab the chocolate. Read a book. Sit in silence. What recharges you? How do you get the best rest? Find your way and practice it. You need it. You deserve it. Do it.

Monk Life

Could you live like a monk??

Professor Justin McDonald at the University of Pennsylvania teaches a course on deliberately living. It is fondly called "Monk Class" and has a wait list of 300 people. In this class Professor McDonald asks his students to give up electronics for 30 days. He says this is not to isolate his students but to give them a small glimpse of monk life, to help them learn to live a more mindful life.

In a recent CNBC article McDonald shared three tenants to try if you would like to live a more deliberate life.

First, just as he asks his students to do, he encourages us to try a digital cleanse. Unlike his students he is not asking us to go 30 days but rather 7. 

It was reported that in a small randomized trial, participants who took a week break from screens showed reduced levels of depression and anxiety.

A study published in the Journal of Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking also reported that reduced screen time increases sleep quality and overall well-being.

The second thing McDonald shared was the idea of Single Tasking.

This is the idea that we should not multitask, especially if one of the tasks we included is a screen.

Engaging in one thing at a time is the best way to stay present. It also helps us notice our surroundings and thoughts.

A 2019 study out of Stanford University found that those who divided their time between work and multimedia (such as a streaming app like Netflix) had a shorter attention span and memory.   

If you search back in a past blog you will find a graphic that shows due to smartphone humans now have an attention span shorter than a goldfish. 

McDonald tells us that we should learn to be bored and learn to sit with our feelings. He wants us to know how to sit with loneliness, anger, and sadness. He goes on to say that we need to be able to do this without crowdsourcing our feelings to friends (co-workers, partners, teachers, etc.).

What might it look like if we taught our students to sit with their feelings? As we have reviewed before; feelings are not right or wrong and they are not good or bad. Teaching ourselves and our students to sit with feelings will help them and us learn to handle them better, on our own. 

Lastly, McDonald wants us to "Do Nothing."

McDonald uses a Dutch concept "Niksen" which he shares means "to do nothing" and is used to combat burnout and stress. 

McDonald and his family engage in this practice daily. He has his family take 30 minutes a day to sit or take a walk without watching or listening to anything. They simply take time to sit with themselves and be. It is an intentional practice of doing nothing to be present in the moment with ones thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. 

Engaging in a practice such as this helps one to understand and better navigate their emotions. Take time to be with your own thoughts, rants, heartbeat, and feelings; and do so without judgement. McDonald tells us that we can listen without having to solve, just be with, what is going on in our life and mind. 

Perhaps over the upcoming break you can give yourself the gift of better mental health, increased attention span, and better quality if sleep. Take a week to practice these three "monk life" principals from professor McDonald.

What might you gain from trying? 

Living more intentionally and more mindfully is just a few steps away.

Choose Your Own Adventure

 "Emotions are a choose your own adventure book."- Mason, 3rd grade

This quote from my friend Mason came after a discussion on emotions. I shared that emotions are right or wrong. Emotion are good or bad. They exist for a purpose. We can choose to learn the purpose and grow or we can get stuck in the emotion. I also shared with him that it is how we handle our emotions that matter. We can choose to learn how to handle our emotions or we can choose to let our emotions run wildly with of control.

Mason took time to take it all in and think about what this meant to him. He then shared that it was like reading a choose your own adventure book. No path in the book is wrong, but you usually enjoy one ending more than another.

I love this! I asked him if I could quote him and use this with others. He gave me full permission to share. He even asks from time to time if I have shared it yet. Please, after reading this blog let Mason know what you think of his emotions quote. It will be just the boost of confidence he might need that day.

Awhile back on my social media I shared someone else's thoughts on emotions. This one is more on the silly side. 

 Listen to this guy share a little more about Emotion Farts

I love how we can look at emotions and learn from them. We can get creative when we talk to our students about their emotions. We need to be brave and dive into emotions with our students. And with ourselves. Maybe this blog is for you. Maybe you are struggling with accepting an emotion. Maybe you have yet to figure out the healthiest way to let out an emotion. 

Gottman is here to help us again this week. This graphic helps us break down a mindful way to accept, process, learn about and learn from an emotion; as well as learning to let go of what does not serve our greater mental wellbeing.

We can use Gottman's 6 steps, Emotional Fart wisdom, and the amazing insight of Mason to help us create a mindfulness around emotions.

I encourage you to take time this December (and all year through) to sit with an emotion. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in, hold, and slowly let go. 

Feel where in your body the emotion is taking up residence. Are you feeling tension in your neck, shoulders, or back? Do you eyes hurt? Are you sensitive to sound? Is it hard to breathe? Are you clenching your jaw? 

Label the emotion. In psychology this is call "Name It to Tame It." 

Accept that this emotion is real and necessary. It has a purpose. 

Investigate. Explore. Understand. When did this emotion start? What brought it about (triggered it)? 

Do you need to let this emotion go? Is it teaching you something? 

Let it go (if needed) and always let it out(in a healthy way)... but remember our lessons. You might not like the ending of your adventure if you choose to let the emotion go in an unhealthy way. It might get messy if you let a feeling out too aggressively. 

Practice your emotion mindfulness. Enjoy the adventure.  

Repair and Rebuild Relationships

15 Seconds to Change a Relationship 

Are you struggling to reconnect with a student after a rupture? It is not easy to set aside pride and admit we could do things better. But we can do it. And we should do it.

The last time you had a student explode, did you explode too? What might it look like after if you repaired the relationship by naming how you could (and will) do better next time?

The video I included above is from the Instagram page of Dr. Becky Kennedy. While she talks to us from a parent point of view we can easily translate that into an education setting. 

Taking time to let a student know that your anger at a situation might have scared them and they had the right to that feeling is a start. To continue on saying that the anger outburst was not their fault is the next step. And closing out with letting them you are working to reduce your reactivity is key.

Take a look at this next graphic...

I've pulled out a few that I really liked and wanted to share.

Sorry

2.  I really blew that one.

6. I can see my part in all this.

8. Let's try that one over again.

I Appreciate

2. My part of this problem is...

3. I see your point.

Get to Yes

2. I agree with part of what you are saying.

5. I never thought of it that way.

The repair tool comes from Gottman who is an American Psychologist who focuses on relationship. While his main focus is romantic relationships we can translate it to any relationship.

If we can mindfully take the month of December to look at how we address concerns we can choose to repair relationships as needed.

What might it look like to welcome a student back with repair after they have had a time out of class? Could you take the time to let them know that you want to understand, help, and address your own part in what happened?

Mindfulness can be a great tool to help you prepare to repair. Mindfulness helps us see things as they are in a non-judgmental way. 

Mindfulness teaches us that emotions exist, are valid, and need to be understood not dismissed.

When we need to repair with a student it would be best to be mindful first. Take a few minutes to prepare with a sense of calm and understanding.

Think about your classroom culture and what role you play. Are you part of the storm or are you the lighthouse quietly showing the way to safety? 

Use the advice of Dr. Becky Kennedy and Dr. Gottman to help you repair, rebuild, or start to build a new relationship with a student. 

Deliberately Developmental

Growth Mindset. 

We have all heard of this idea and hopefully embrace it. As I explored this topic as it relates to mindfulness I found a definition that I really like and it encouraged  me to think about my own growth mindset and my own growth.

On the website Awakenedmind.com it says that another term for growth mindset can be deliberately developmental. The article goes on to explain that this means you have a "deliberate set of practices to help you grow as a human." We can apply this concept to ourselves and to whole groups, such as our students.

Harvard experts, Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey study adult development and have found that adults waste 33% of time and energy on managing image at work. This is to say that a 1/3 of our time is spent worrying about the results of what we do and how it looks to others, rather than the process of getting the result. We worry how what we do looks to those around us.

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella has been quoted saying "We need to move from a know-it-all attitude to a learn it all attitude."

This is growth mindset. This is deliberately developmental. 

One way we can cultivate an environment of growth is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness helps us train our brains to slow down and tune in. When we learn to pause and reflect we open our brains to the opportunity to grow and develop in positive ways.

Mindfulness helps us teach our brains to be lessen reactive. When we are less reactive we can grow through a situation. We can learn to change an unwanted behavior and strengthen a wanted behavior.

We can utilize mindfulness to less our "quick fix" response and become open to learning a new and possibly more positive way to handle a situation.

On the website Mindfulschools.org we are told that teachers who have a personal mindfulness practice are better equipped to help students through difficult emotions. Teachers (Staff at school) who have a regular mindfulness practice teach their brains to pause and create space for purposeful responses and growth.

When we practice our own mindfulness we show students with our growth how they can grow too. When we learn to pause and create space we can then teach our students to do the same.

Having a growth mindset also makes a safe space for failure. 

Having a growth mindset encourages feeling emotions as they are and pausing to learn a new way to process them.

Having a growth mindset puts the focus on the process not the results.

Mindfulness helps cultivate a growth mindset.

We can be deliberately developmental. 

Please take some time today to enjoy a 5 minute mindful pause. Enjoy the moment and create space to grow. 

 

Start Small

You've decided to run a marathon. This is the first time you've tried. Day one of training you write on your calendar "Run 26.2 miles today"

NOPE!

Marathon runners do not run a full marathon on day one of training. 

Mindfulness can be thought of the same way. We do not have to set a goal of meditating 6 hours a day and do it day one. We can't all be Ron Swanson (minute 1:32-2:30) We can start small. 

If you haven't started mindfulness in your classroom you do not have to start with a full daily practice of 10 minutes (or 5 for the littles). You can start with a shorter transition or sound practice. 

In your own practice you do not have to jump into a long session. Start small. Start with a morning gratitude list. End your day with a gratitude list. Then build from there.

This week I wanted to spend time reflecting and reviewing mindfulness and gratitude.

Mindfulness isn't just something to put on our schedule or to-do list and simply check off when we are done. Mindfulness is about working on our attention to the moment, attention to our feelings, and creating a non-judgmental space for our feelings and thoughts to exist. 

Let's continue to think on the smaller scale as we talk about space. The space to have mindfulness. In a class, as a whole group activity you cannot actually have a small space, but it can be made to feel smaller. When we turn off the lights and encourage closed eyes the space can begin to feel smaller.

When we are doing our own practice we can find a small room, a small chair, and small corner. A small space gives us less to see and fewer things that might distract us. 

For some, small spaces are uncomfortable but for many others they can give a sense of closeness and comfort. 

In a small space for a small amount of time engage in a small moment of mindfulness.

This makes me think back to our blog on glimmers. Small moments that support our mental health and create positivity in our lives.

We can start small and enjoy the small things in life.

During a BSP meeting this week a parent shared that her son is grateful for the small things in life, such as new socks. I loved that she noticed this and was able to reflect on it with her son and us. I also love that he is grateful for small things. We all need a little more of that lesson. I look at my children and hope that I am teaching them to appreciate small things.

I encourage us to utilize small moment mindfulness to help us foster gratitude in the small things. 

What is a small thing that you are grateful for today?

I want to share a blog post I found from the website Therapy Tel Aviv Mini Gratitude Moments. It is a short blog talking about what we are talking about, what I'm calling Small Moment Mindfulness.

The blog also linked to a page on 100 Things To Be Grateful For. Reading this list made me smile, relate, and feel validated in my morning gratitude list often having coffee listed. I grantee this list will connect with you. 

Which number on the list spoke to you the most? 

One last link friends  End of the week 20 Second Gratitude Mindfulness

I love exploring topics and find resource after resource. I hope you inspiration in small moment mindfulness. I know I have. 

Gratitude Builds Us Better Together

An Attitude of Gratitude. 

As we begin the month of gratitude we have an opportunity to express gratitude for the good that comes from our coworkers. Each of us has a Warm & Fuzzies sheet for others to leave little notes of positivity and gratitude. I love this idea for the staff. I wonder if we as staff can think of a way to expand this to our students as well. After all, the scientific research on gratitude teaches us that we can gain many benefit from starting and practicing a daily gratitude mindfulness. 

UC Davis's professor of psychology Robert Emmons is one of the world's leading experts on gratitude and he states that there are two important components to gratitude.

The first part of gratitude is the affirmation of goodness. He states that gratitude helps us wake up to the good around us and helps us take notice of the gifts we are given.

The second part of gratitude is recognizing that the source of the goodness is outside of ourselves. Our gifts and the goodness comes from others.

I have a daily mindfulness practice of morning gratitude. This morning I really took time to think about my gratitude and where they have come from.

A gratitude of coffee (yes, some morning this is a gratitude) means I need to recognize someone, at some point in history figured out the "how to" to make it and now I get to enjoy it. Someone made the machine I use to grind the beans and the machine I use to make the fresh pot. I enjoy coffee because others have come before me with great ideas and wonderful inventions.

I love this new outlook on my gratitude. Really taking time to explore where and who the gratitude belongs to because it is outside of myself. While I might be the one making the coffee I am not the one who harvested and roasted the beans. I did not make the mug I use. My gratitude can begin to expand and I can explore new ways to be grateful. 

Research also tells us that gratitude can become a "social glue" to bring us closer to others. 

If my gratitude in the morning is toward my family and I begin to explore the gifts they give me I am going to feel closer to them. The closer I feel toward them, the more I am likely to show them kindness, love, compassion, and acts of generosity. I bring us closer together by being grateful for them. 

As staff at a school we can begin to explore how to use gratitude to build a stronger community among the staff and the students. We can explore the gifts our coworkers give to us daily. We can also begin to explore the gifts our students give to us daily. 

This is a great mindfulness opportunity for your students to build better relationships and form stronger social connections and glue your class together. 

Building a gratitude practice is a great way to build strong positive recall in your brain. As we have explored in the past, our brains are hardwired toward the negative as a way to ensure survival. We must actively work to train our brains to have positive recall.

Having a gratitude practice can also be a great benefit to your physical wellbeing. Studies show that those who regularly practice gratitude report few headaches, digestive issues, or sleep problems. It has also been observed that those who focus on finding positives and practice gratitude tend toward healthier life choices. A couple of examples are healthier eating habits and being more active. 

In her book The Thank You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time, author Nancy Davis Kho talks about her experience writing 50 letters of gratitude. At first she felt the pressure and uncertainty she would be able to complete this task. The more letters she wrote the more she was able to branch out past family and friends and begin to express more and more gratitude. Nancy reported that the experience boosted her mood and Nancy encourages others to explore writing letter of gratitude.

I challenge you to take this month of gratitude and write as many letters of gratitude as you can. Or at the very least take time to write on as many Warm & Fuzzies sheets as you can!

WTF Mindfulness

WTF Mindfulness

Now that I have your attention. What is WTF Mindfulness? 

Let's take a minute to remember that mindfulness is pausing to accept, reflect, and process an emotion, without judgement. 

There may be times in which you just do not want to calm an emotion down. You like the mad and angry feeling. You feel justified and you would be glad to exact vengeance where it is needed. You do not want to calmly ask yourself why you feel this anger. You do not want to ask what the function of the emotion may be. That takes away from your ability to create an alter ego as a super hero.... or a supervillain.

Asking ourselves "what's the function" of an emotion allows us space to consider if the emotion will support our mental health or if it will harm our mental health. 

There are no wrong emotions. That being said, not all emotions are a benefit to our positive mental health. We need to allow an emotion space to exist while at the same time evaluating its function and our needs.

If we are angry the function might be to help us bring about change, address a conflict with a person, or seek personal growth.

Giving ourselves space to ask "what is the function" really is giving us time to seek out the origin of the emotion. 

The anger's function is to help us change a situation because we are not happy with a situation. We are not happy because we disagree with how things are being handled. 

We can track where and when the emotion started, what it's function is and then we give ourselves space to resolve the emotion. 

Embrace the function of the emotion. Begin to utilize this to your benefit.

If the function of your anger is to create change. Create it!

What are you feeling today? What have you been feeling lately? What might be the function of that emotion?

Take time to start asking yourself  WTF?  Then help your students explore this concept, but maybe don't start with WTF. 

Free Hugs

How's Your Hug Health? 

Check Those Hugs Again

Have you ever had something pop up again and again on social media, movies, books, or life? When something repeats in my life I start to notice and pay attention. Over the last couple of weeks I have had hugging and mental health pop up again and again in my social media feed. So here we are, exploring hugging together.

Hugs Help Mental Health!

Our students often crave attention. Some will seek it out in negative ways. We have the opportunity to provide small moments of positive attention which can build trust and health. We can give a quick hug.

There are times when we may not always feel like giving hugs to others. For those times there are a couple of mindfulness practices we can teach our students.

Butterfly Hug Mindfulness is a peaceful guided imagery mindfulness with a slight hug from you butterfly-hands.

Another great mindfulness that is about hugs is called Imaginary Hug. This is one I love to utilize with my kinder and first grade friends. 

This mindfulness is a great way to teach students (and adults) to take a mental break, imagine some place nice and calm and then to give yourself a hug.

Hugs help!

On the CDC's website it states that loneliness is associated with higher rates of; depression, anxiety, and suicide.

Loneliness does not always look like being alone. The Jack's Mannequin song Dark Blue has a line that asks, "have you every felt alone in a crowded room?" Take some time this week to look around your classroom and ask yourself, "who here might be feeling lonely?" Chances are you have one or two students who sit in your classroom full of people and still feel alone. Have you hugged them today? Have you given them space to engage in a mindfulness self hug?

In a National Library of Medicine article titled, Relationships between loneliness, psychiatric disorders and physical health. A review on he psychological aspects of loneliness. the following is stated about loneliness: "Loneliness is the absence of imperative social relations and lack of affection in current social relationships."

Loneliness is when we feel disconnected from others. Our relationships do not support positive mental and physical wellbeing. 

For some hugging may be the last thing you want to do during the season of cold and flu and of course covid. In a Psychology today article Lisa van Raalte, Ph D shares that hugs can actually help fight against the common cold. Hugging helps lower blood pressure, decrease levels of cortisol, boost levels of oxytocin, and create a sense of bonding with others. These factors all help build a strong and health immune system.

The Psychology Today article continues on to share that due to covid we have been deprived social contact. This has negatively impacted the mental health for many. Human contact is essential for healthy development and positive mental health.

In a short clip on hugging from the Cleveland Clinic, it is shared that if you are not a hugger, even a small touch of a hand can help boost mood and mental health.

Now that we have talked about the benefits of hugs, take some time to notice how many students seek a hug. I have students who make a point to hug me every morning. I have other students who seek a hug every time they see me. Have you noticed this too? How many hugs do you get each day? How many do you give? If you do not want to try a hug consider a fist bump, shoulder squeeze, or a light touch on the arm. You might be boosting someone's mental health.

 

Let Go Like A Tree

While my daughter may choose to see it as Elsa teaching to Let It Go, I prefer the idea of the trees teaching us this mindfulness.

The season of Autumn can teach us that there is beauty in change and letting go. The leaves on the trees turn brilliant and beautiful colors as they allow the passing of one season to the next. When looking up the above quote I found a variety of variations, some which even included the concept that Fall teaches us to let go of dead things. We may not like this imagery but it is an honest depiction of the transition from Summer to Fall as we prepare for Winter. 

We can learn from the trees and let go of what should be dead to us. We can do this with the help of mindfulness.

In my research this week I found a helpful article from the Centre for Clinical Interventions in Australia.

This article was about a mindfulness practice on letting go. In it we are reminded that mindfulness is designed to help us skillfully disengage from negative thinking and let it go. We can untangle our thoughts and feelings and let go of what does not serve our greater mental health.

The practice of letting go mindfulness helps us learn to notice our negative thoughts and feelings and with skill, let them go.

Sometimes our thought and feelings shout at us and demand our attention. Mindfulness can help you learn to notice and turn down those thoughts. Not turn them off. But turn them down and observe and learn.

Letting go mindfulness implies in the name that we in fact once held onto a feeling, thought, or emotion. It existed. 

When we learn to acknowledge what is going on inside of us we can learn to control how others see it playout on the outside.

Letting Go Mindfulness asks that we begin by asking ourselves the question; "what am I experiencing right now?" We take time to investigate, observe, and understand.

Take time to fully explore and feel.

Then begin to bring awareness to your breathing. And begin to say to yourself something as simple as "relax". 

As you calm an emotion remind yourself "whatever I am experiencing, it is OK, I can feel it, work through it, and I can be OK."

Gently remind yourself that you can let go of a problem, feeling, thought, or emotion. Remind yourself that letting go can and will serve your greater mental health. 

This last step is key. YOU MUST LET IT GO. 

If you look back in the blogs you will find one that talks about the chemical duration of an emotion. The duration is about 90 seconds. After that we are engaging in what is called Rumination. Your brain will ruminate on something that your body is chemically over and has let go. You must train your brain to let go too.

Practice a letting go mindfulness this weekend and be ready for a fresh start next week. Find one thing to let go. And, Let Go! 

What is Bullying?

 October is bullying awareness and prevention month.

This month we take time to talk with students about what is and isn't bullying. We share how to address bullying and ways to prevent it.

To help our students understand bullying, we need to first understand bullying. 

The words Bully and Bullying are extremely over used. We cannot call all behavior bullying. We cannot call mean students bullies. This belittles true bullying situations. It also sets up students to have the misperception on what is going on.

I strongly recommend taking less than 30 minutes and listen to the podcast I have linked below.

Raising Good Humans

The chart above is always posted in my office. When a student comes to report bullying I turn to this chart and help the student identify the situation. Most often the behavior truly fits in Mean or Conflict. 

As adults we need to watch our words. Words have power. Make sure we understand and properly use the word bully.

The flow chart below is a great way to guide the conversation regarding bullying.

Bullying is painful and we need to address it and take care of our students who are being bullied. If it isn't bullying we need to teach our students to handle and resolve conflict. Conflict and mean moments a part of growing up. We all encounter them. But we all will not encounter bullying. 

Let's take this month to really help our students understand what is and isn't bullying.

Mirror Mirror in our Brains

Psychologist Daniel Stern once noted, "Mirror neurons ensure that the moment someone sees an emotion on your face they will at once sense that same feeling within themselves."

How is your emotional regulation? With the help of mirror neurons you have the power to affect the mood and behavior of your students, if you first regulate your own emotions.

Emotional regulation is not denying or getting rid of an emotion, but rather learning to accept the emotion, process it in a helpful way, and display it to others in a non-harmful manner. I always tell students "You can be angry, but you can't hurt anyone with your anger, that includes yourself."

Mirror neurons were first discovered in the late 1940's. They were studied in relation to associative learning. In 1949 Donald Hebb made the statement "cell that fire together, wire together." We can utilize the power of mirror neurons and our own emotional regulation to help our students wire their brains for positive, productive, and emotionally regulated brains.

In babies mirror neurons help infants understand the actions of others. As we grow and our brains develop mirror neurons help us process the emotions of others and begin to mimic them.

If we come into school with unregulated emotions we are setting up an environment of chaos and instability for our students. Our students brains unconsciously, using mirror neurons, look to us to learn actions and reactions.

Think back to the last unpleasant situation you encountered with a student. How did you handle yourself? Were you ensuring you were regulating your emotions? How did the student respond?

Studies have shown that strong mirror neurons aid us with empathy and emotions.

It is important to note that studies are beginning to show that a lack of normal mirror neurons is associated with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Those diagnosed with ASD more likely do not have strong mirror neurons or have mirror neurons that do not function normally. This is important for us to note when we are helping our ASD students. Our emotional regulation is extremely important during those times. Those with ASD will not automatically mirror our emotions, but they will read our regulation and learn patterns of behavior that they may attempt to mimic.

Mindfulness is a great tool to help us learn emotional regulation and teach it to our students. Taking time to pause, slow down, calm down, and process is an important practice. 

We will all face stressful times. How well do you manage your own feelings? How do you display them to others?

Engage in a mindfulness practice today and every day.

Glimmer

    

Glimmer. The word alone brings a feeling of magic, wonder, beauty, and light to mind. When something glimmers it shines and sparkles. A glimmer is not dark, but rather it is a light. A spark of a shimmer. A micro moment of light.

The term Glimmer was coined in reference to mental health in Deb Dana's 2018 book regarding the use of the Polyvagal Theory in trauma therapy. More recently in February 2022, Dr. Justine Grosso popularized the term with  the use of a TikTok video.  

What is a glimmer? How can glimmers help us in the school setting? What can finding glimmers do for you?

A Glimmer is a Micro Moment of Joy and Safety. A Glimmer is the opposite of a Tigger.

When we talk about behavior of students we often ask "what triggered the behavior?" A trigger is a response to trauma. A trigger puts our bodies in Fight or Flight.

To fully understand a glimmer we first need to look fully at a trigger and the Polyvagal Theory. 

In 1995 Stephen Porges, an American Psychologist and Neuroscientist researched and wrote on his new theory, The Polyvagal Theory. This theory states that our autonomic nervous system is always searching for cues to determine danger or safety. The concept of our body scanning for these cues is called, neuroception. Neuroception involves our Vagus, also called Vagal Nerve.

The word Vagus is Latin for wandering. This nerve is named this due to the extend that it runs or 'wanders' through our body. The Vagus Nerve exits our Medulla Oblongata in our lower brainstem and travels down our neck and chest, through our heart and lungs and into our abdomen and digestive tract. 

The Vagus Nerve makes up 75% of our Parasympathetic Nervous System. If you think back to some previous blogs you will remember why this is important to us and mindfulness. When we take a deep breath in and release it slowly out for a longer time than taken in we engage our parasympathetic nervous system. This system is also called our "rest and digest" system. This puts our bodies in a state of homeostasis. It calms us.

The Vegus Nerve is responsible for; digestion, immune response, heart rate, blood pressure, respiration, mood, and many other functions in our body. 

When we experience a Trigger our Amygdala places our body in the Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, or Faint state of being. We need Glimmers to help us find a way out.

A Glimmer, as we have learned, is a cue, both internal and external, which leads us toward the feelings of ; joy, happiness, peace, love, and safety.

Glimmers help us regulate our stimulated and overwhelmed nervous system.

How do we know we have found our glimmer? We feel it. We experience a sense of calm and safety. We feel comfort and ease. We experience peace and joy. We know we are safe.

We should all take time each day to find a glimmer. Below are a list of possible glimmers. Remember they are meant to be micro moments. They are small moments of joy.

* Feeling the warmth of the sun on your face

* The cool feeling and smell of salty sea air

* The smell of fresh cut grass

* Spotting a Rainbow... or better yet, a double rainbow

* Seeing the sun sparkle on water

* The scent of lavender or other calming scents

* Petting a dog or cat

* Being in nature

* A smile from someone as you pass them by

* The perfect cup of coffee

* Holding and rocking a baby

* Smell of fresh baked bread

* Snuggling a soft blanket

* Humming a favorite tune

* Dancing to a favorite song

* Finding a new hobby

* Being creative

* Lunch dates with friends

* Brunch with a loved one

And my list starts out...

* The smell of old books

*Soft sound of rain

*Chai Tea Latte 

*Dark chocolate with caramel 

*Snuggle Hugs (as we call them) from Leila

Finding glimmers helps us set our bodies in a state of safety and calm. Sharing our glimmers with others helps promote connection. 

Glimmers help reduce emotional distress and help us be more in the learning zone. 

You may have felt that it took some time to find a solid school connection, but there it is. Glimmers help us be in the learning zone. We want our students to be in this zone during the day. Encouraging them to find a glimmer can help!

While researching glimmers I began to find my own and I plan to build on them. Above I shared a few of mine. Please leave comments with a few of your own. Let's build glimmer connections! 

I want to help our students use glimmers as a mindfulness tool. This can be a new mindfulness we can use to help our students find a way out of a trigger and calm their nervous system and find homeostasis. 

 Glimmer Fortis! Glimmer! 

Inspiration builds mindfulness

What inspires you? 

Who inspires you?

Who makes you a better person?

What makes you better at your job?

As you think about these questions, take some time to follow the links below. I found these three Instagram accounts this summer and have found sources of inspiration.

Kaelynn 

Ms. Chang

Matt

I encourage you to explore these three pages and see more posts. Matt has some great words of wisdom regarding teaching and relationship building. Ms. Chang brings humor to truths we see everyday and may choose to overlook. Kaelynn is a young lady with autism who now shares her experiences to help others. 

As we begin this school year it is important to remember that our words and actions impact our students. Being mindful of our impact and working to make it a positive one may sound daunting but it's not. When we choose to build relationships into our day it becomes a natural part of our lives.

While working on this post, one of my long time special friend students came by my office. He stepped in and without hesitation asked "why are you always calm?" Our students notice our emotions, behaviors, and attitudes. I asked him "When needing to work on being calm would you rather come to someone calm or someone angry, loud, or engaging in high emotions?" He simply nodded in understanding and let me know that so far he was doing well this year.

The Calm App has a daily mindfulness called The Daily Jay. Today's (9/12) talked about imitating others verses making things uniquely your own. Jay shared a Bruce Lee quote that can help us reflect on how to present mindfulness to ourselves as well as our students. Maybe Bruce Lee can help inspire a new way to look at mindfulness.

Bruce Lee once said " Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not. Add what is uniquely your own."

As we give our students inspiration from our lives and  mindfulness that works for us, we can encourage them to make it their own. Let them know what does and doesn't work for you and how you have made it your own. 

Encourage your students to listen as you play Inner Explorer and find out what is useful and absorb it and calmly and quietly discard what is not. This is a great approach to getting your students to listen. They have to listen to know what to absorb and what to discard. Once they have decided to absorb something then encourage them to make it uniquely their own.

Let's work to inspire mindfulness. Let's be inspired and inspire others. 

 

Welcome to Week 2

 Welcome back to school. Welcome to week 2 of a new year.

Quick Fact: Last school year, in the month of August we had 49 Inner Explorer practices utilized for a total of 160 mindful minutes. This year....last week... we had 184 practices utilized for a total of 658 mindful minutes!!! That is all of you doing your part to help our students take time to calm, reflect, and reset. Keep up the great work!

As we begin a new year we I want to take some time to reflect on what we have talked about in the past to help refresh our mindfulness practices.

We, as adults, set the tone for our students. We must lead by example and show our students what a mindful school looks like, each and every day.

In PD I shared the 4-7-8 breathing. I encourage you to use this practice to help you when you there is a challenge in front of you. As you reset your breathing, restart your outlook too. I have shared that my morning mindfulness practice starts with a reflection on gratitude. What (at least) three things am I grateful for today? Gratitude helps retrain the brain toward the positive.

Remember, the simplest definition of mindfulness is: Pay Attention, On Purpose, Without Judgement. 

Knowing that mindfulness is paying attention, on purpose, without judgment, we can understand that anything can be mindfulness. We can be mindful during announcements by paying attention and not allowing ourselves to be distracted. We can be mindful at recess, focused on students and their movement and play. We can be mindful, always.

Take time this first month of school to establish a solid daily mindfulness routine. Build it into your schedule. Train the brain to know it's mindfulness time. Be mindful and show this to your students. 

 

End of the School Year

Parents at the end of school:

School staff at the end of school:

Let's finish strong and have a great summer! Don't forget to practice your own mindfulness all summer. If you have kids at home with you, you'll need it. 
 

Helping Others is Mentally A Good Idea

On the May 1st episode of the podcast The Happiness Lab, Dr. Laurie Santos talked with Dr. Marty Seligman. Dr. Seligman is known to be the father of Positive Psychology. 

During the episode they talked about Dr. Seligman's journey toward the study of positive psychology. Take a listen, it's a good reminder of why being an optimist will prolong your life. The research is compelling. 

To end the podcast Laurie asked Marty what his top three "tips" would be to help people get started living a more positive life. He shared that first and foremost, the number one suggestion he always shares is; helping others.

Dr. Seligman shared that research shows benefits for our mental health when we help others. Reach out and find a way to help someone today. Give yourself the gift of an emotional boost and help others.

At the end of the school year it can be challenging to want to help others when you may feel you need more help yourself. Challenge yourself to find a one way to help one person today.

One way I would like to help you is to share a resource you can share with your students and their families. 

 The Library Network has what they call MAP: Michigan Activity Pass. If you check out this site you can explore many different activities Michigan has to offer. This site allows you to gain discounts or even free passes to places in Michigan. You can gain digital passes or go to a local library and pick up a physical pass. With summer around the corner check out the free passes to local parks, discounts to museums, and discounts performing arts centers.

                                         Find someone to help. It benefits them as well as you!

Finish Strong

Don't we all feel this way, this time of year? Our ducks are not in a row. Hack one is a pigeon! 

And that is OK. 

We can help our students---and ourselves---finish strong, the mindful way. We just need some help and encouragement. 

You can do it!!! You will do it!!!! You are doing it!!!! 

The website Schola for Schools shared a list of 5 ways to help students finish strong. I am taking those steps and adapting them to a mindful way to finish strong.

1. Morning Mindfulness.... and for all you Hobbits out there second breakfast can be second mindfulness, elevenses, and in fact have 7 mindfulness. If Biblo can have 7 meals, we can have 7 mindfulness. 

Morning Mindfulness can be the perfect way to start your day. Help your students find a calm focus. Start the day with a positive outlook and equip your students to do their best.

2. Motivational Moments. Every morning put a motivational post-it on each student's desk. During your day share a motivational quote. Share with your students what motivates you. Meditate on a motivational phrase. Take a mindful motivation walk. 

This week I have taking motivational walks with a student. We walk and repeat phrases such as "I can be my best. I am my best. I can do it. I will do it. I am doing it"

3. Model Self-Care. Tell the students you are taking a mindful moment. Let them see you take in a deep breath. Engage in mindful self-care with your students.

Encouraging healthy snacks and eating them with your students. Make sure to encourage and take fruit and vegetables on your picnic. 

Incorporate mindful movement time. Class yoga. Stretching and breathing.

4. Encourage Balance. Let your students know how you ground and balance your life. Encourage them to find their balance.

Practice together. Set timers and work hard on a subject then take a two minute mindfulness break. 

5. Celebrate with Students. Celebrate the small wins. Let the class know when a student is doing well. Have a 10 second party. Dance it out and then get back at it. 

Reward all students for one student's success. Make every moment one to remember.

We can help our students and ourselves finish strong the mindful way.

We will help our students and ourselves finish strong the mindful way.

We are helping our students and ourselves finish strong the mindful way. 

What's on Your Bucket List

This time of year our students are ready to be done with school. Let's be honest, so are we. It can be hard to remain focused and on task. The weather is nice and sitting inside is the last thing most of us want to do. 

Let's take some time this week to create an End of the Year Mindfulness Bucket List

Think about the mindfulness activities you've tired and love, those you want to try and haven't, and even those that were challenging and a deserve a second chance. What is making it on your bucket list?

I'll start a list and you jump in and share more. Let's Fill a Bucket List with Mindfulness!

1. Kindness Day: Have students do one kind thing for someone. Journal about it.

2. Take a mindful clean up walk. The playground needs some care from time to time.

3. Sit outside and notice the colors, sounds, and smells.

4. Set a water drinking goal for you class. Have a challenge.

5. Set a healthy food only day. Make it fun!

6. Take Inner Explorer outside. Grab your computer and hit the courtyard.

7. #5 can also be used as a mindful eating time. Talk about how to eat mindfully. There was a blog on mindful eat a couple of years ago.

8. Review old mindfulness blogs. Read one you missed. Reread one you liked. Remind yourself of something that you needed to hear and helped.

9.Mindful movement. Try yoga. Alo Gives is a great site with yoga mindfulness for kids. I used this for mindfulness session when we were virtual and the kids enjoyed it.

10. Feelings day. Review the mood meter. Check in on current mood and feelings regarding summer break. 

11. Set summer goals (wishes). Mindfulness goals. Learning goals. Personal goals.

12. Gratitude lists. Start and/or end your days with some gratitude.

13. Mindful silence. You can do it. Set a time for a minute or two of reflective silence. 

14. Journal. Write a prompt on the board. Make it fun. Make it meaningful. 

15. Read a fun book to your class. 

Remember mindfulness is about paying attention on purpose to the current moment/feeling without judgement. Get creative with how you help yourself and your students be in the moment.