'Twas the Week Before Winter Break

 

‘Twas the week before Winter Break, when all through the school

Every teacher was stressed, even those who usually stay cool;

The backpacks were filled with holiday work with care,

In hopes that students soon would take it home and do it there;

The children each day struggled to come to school, they wanted to stay all snug in their beds;

There visions of two weeks of break danced in their heads;

And Mrs. Patton in her lighted necklace, and Mr. Waddle in his Santa cap,

Likes others were starting to settle their brains for a long winter break nap,

When out in the hall there arose lots of clatter,

The behavior team sprang out of their chairs to see what was the matter.

Away out their doors they flew like a flash,

Tore down the hall and up the ramp in a dash.

The sun shinning bright on the new-fallen snow,

Gave teachers false hope as they checked and saw the temperature was too low,

When what to Ms. Zoe’s keen eyes did appear’

But a cart like a sleigh and glee-filled admin in Christmas gear,

With a bright leader so lively and quick,

Ms. Sarah knew in a moment that it must be Mrs. Dixon, much better than St. Nick.

More rapid than falcons Mrs. Dixon’s deans they came,

And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

“Now Shackelford! And Bock! On Swetz and Powers!

To the front of the school! To the side door, don’t fall!

Now dash out of the building; dash out; dash out all!”

As teachers on Friday at 3:45 fly,

When met with an activity they help and don’t ask why;

So up and down the halls the admin they flew

With a cart full of treats and Mrs. Dixon too-

And then, in a twinkling, Ms. Richardson heard in the hall

The dancing and cheering of admin one and all.

As Mx. Wray drew in their head, and was turning around,

Down the hall Mrs. Dixon and the deans came with a bound.

She dressed in red and green from her head to her toes,

And her clothes were all shinny with tinsel and Rodolph’s red nose;

A basket of goodies she had lining her cart,

And she looked as an elf, or maybe was just playing the part.

Her eyes- how they sparkled! Her smiles, how merry!

Knowing break was coming soon she was as sweet as a cherry!

The deans all helped deliver treats with a smile and a bow,

Getting all of the staff a chocolate treat to keep warm from the snow;

The teachers they all dressed in red, white, and green,

And this week while weary was the happiest this year they’ve been seen;

The staff were all smiles and energized for the day with pizza in the belly

Some teachers had a contest to see who could eat the most, most say it was Mr. Kelley.

The teachers had students convinced they were all watched by an elf,

And Ms. Hiller laughed when she saw them, in spite of herself;

A wink of Mrs. Dixon’s eye and a twist of her head

Soon gave Ms. Sentz to know she had nothing to dread;

She spoke words of cheer as she went about her work,

And told teachers to fill their bellies with treats; then turned with a jerk,

And packing up quick Mrs. Liskiewicz arose,

And giving a nod, out of the building she goes;

Ms. Hill sprang to her car, to her team gave a wave,

And away she flew like a bat from a cave.

But Mrs. Dixon heard all her staff exclaim, ere they drove our of sight-

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a great break and good night!”

All Emotions Are Acceptable

 

Helping others through their emotions is an invaluable skills, especially if you are the one who helped bring on the emotion.

As I walked in the other morning I noticed a young lady at the 1-4 bathroom taking time to read the Mood Meter. She was looking it over and in the end touched an emotion and then walked on. It was a simple moment to watch but profound for the girl. She was taking time to identify her feelings. This is a strength that will help her handle her emotions and help her support others with their own.

Reflecting on the events of last week this is a great opportunity for us as adults and educators to take time and work to support our students through their emotions.

I recently had a student tell me that they "shouldn't be sad." I explored this with them and learned that somewhere along the way an adult told them to "cheer up and not be sad." Sad is an emotion we all feel at one time or another. Instead of saying "cheer up", "Stop being sad", let's move toward, "I see you're sad, that's ok, we all get sad, how can I help you work through your sadness?" 

Sadness is not the only emotion we can accept from ourselves and students. Anger is acceptable. The way anger is handled is what matters. 

There are no "right" or "wrong" emotions only helpful/healthy ways to express them and unhelpful/unhealthy or hurtful ways to express emotions.

Who are some students you have previously not allowed to feel an emotion because you feared how they would express it?

How can you help a student work through a feeling?

Take a few minutes to read the link below. We can all find a way to help ourselves and students work with and through their emotions. Avoiding doesn't make something go away.

Helping students with emotions

Mindfulness for Self-Control

 Have you ever had a day derailed and you realize it has changed some of your plans for the week?

That was the start of the week for me. I had a student acting out in my office and being very unkind to myself and another staff. 

The same day when I picked up my daughter from school I learned that her preschool would be opening late for the next week and half due to a staff injury and staff illness. 

A calm typical Tuesday was thrown out and chaos and confusion were front and center.

These events can become stress that can completely break us down, or we can choose to put into use all of our mindfulness practice.

Mindfulness has been shown to help with self-control. In a published article out of the University of Toronto, researcher Rimma Teper states; "Converging evidence suggests that the present-moment awareness and nonjudgmental acceptance intrinsic to mindfulness enhances one's sensitivity to the affective cues that direct self-control processes."

Mindfulness can and will help you and your students gain a better ability to feel and display self-control in the face of stress and frustration.

Mindfulness helps us understand, observe, accept, and control our emotions. These are all key components of self-control. The ability to accept and then control ones emotions will help with being in control of ones actions.

A fun and great self-control mindfulness practice I like to engage in with students is Self-Control Bubbles.

I start by explaining the rules to the "game." I share that I will use the bubble wand and blow the bubbles. The student will sit with a calm body and watch the bubbles. The bubbles are not allowed to be touched, only watched. As the student learns to sit and watch the bubbles, you then allow them a turn to use the bubble wand. This is a great slow in and out breathing practice. I encourage the student to watch the bubbles, follow their path with their eyes, notice colors and the way the light reflects in them. This a nice calm mindful way to practice self-control. Students will want to pop the bubbles. Talk to them about watching them and following them. 

You can use this mindfulness lesson to talk about each of us having our own bubble. We respect each other's bubbles and we do not pop them with our bodies.

You can talk about taking in deep breaths, blowing the bubbles and thinking about a wish to send to someone or a problem to send away with the bubble.

Take some time this week to find a self-control mindfulness or come barrow some bubbles. 

Thankful for You.

 I Stop.

And Feel my breathing (feel your breathing).

Peaceful and Calm.

I'm ready to (fill this part with your next task: do mindfulness, go to lunch, have recess, read a story, etc..).

This Mindfulness song is how I start and end my mindfulness lessons with kindergarten. They do an amazing job with this song. They do an amazing job with mindfulness. They are peaceful and clam and ready to do mindfulness.

During this short school week take some time to do mindfulness.

A great Thanksgiving mindfulness is a simple gratitude list. 

My daughter's preschool class did gratitude turkeys this month. My funny three-year-old was very honest and shared that she is thankful for green beans! She loves her vegetables. Do you know what your students are thankful for this month?

Share your own gratitude. Let your students know you are thankful for them being at school.

I am thankful for all of you who take time each week and read this blog. Thank you!

Take time this week and be mindful! 

Changing how we see "Normal"

 "I am not a broken version of someone else's normal."- John Elder Robison

As I listened to the podcast, A Slight Change of Plans with Maya Shankar, I was struck by the power of this statement. John was on the podcast telling his story, his journey to understanding himself and accepting himself.

John was in his 40's when he was presented with the idea that he might be on the Autism spectrum. The more he learned about what was at the time called Asperger's Syndrome, the more he saw himself and understood his life.

John since that time twenty years ago has written books and given talks and been a part of studies to help himself and others understand the challenges and gifts of Autism. 

Near the end of the interview John said, "I am not a broken version of someone else's normal." This to me was a profound statement and challenged me to look at our students in a different light.

Our students are unique, challenging, and at times frustrating, but, they are not broken versions of our normal.

Some are "broken" this is an unfortunate reality. But they are broken by circumstance, they were not born broken and they do not choose to be broken.

This week I challenge you, as I am challenging myself, to look at the students around you and see their normal not your normal. 

Then ask yourself what kind of support does their normal need? How can you give it? Who can give it? How can it be given?

Support does not look the same for every student. We need to be open to the supporting each student needs, as differently as it may look. Support should not be a one size fits all idea.  

  

Continue to Connect

 Last week I attached a video regarding starting each day with a connection. This week I want to start with attaching a video which provides a strategy for connection at the end of a day or end of a lesson.

Appreciation, Apology, Aha

Humans need to connect. 

Judith E. Glaser, Organizational Psychologist and Anthropologist at Harvard is largely responsible for the information we have on the psychology of connection.

Glaser studied what is called Deep Connection and explains to us how it works in the brain and why it is important.

Deep Connection is built on Interaction and Behavior. One of the key finding in the research is related to Sharing. 

When we share our values and passions with others we are releasing the neurotransmitter, oxytocin. Oxytocin is significantly responsible for building connections. 

Glazer's finding go on to show us that when we engage in deep connection and our brains release Oxytocin, our brains begin to feel; Safe, Comfortable, and Trusted.

Building a true deep connection with students can help them feel safe, comfortable, and trusted at school. When students feel these emotions they are more likely to want to attend school, pay attention in school, connect more with others, and be a positive student.

Taking 5 minutes to connect could help you spend less time having to redirect. 

Think about some great connecting questions. Think about how you feel comfortable connecting with students. What passions and values are you willing to share?

I want to leave you with another Adam Grant quote. I hope this helps you begin thinking about questions to connect.

Connect BEFORE Redirect

 My training this week was on SEL and Trauma. The training was a great review of trauma and how we can support a student utilizing SEL and mindfulness or we can continue to traumatize and retraumatize a student.

Our attitudes and behaviors can reinforce feelings of being lonely, not valued, unwanted, etc. We need to ensure that we are connecting with our students and building relationships before we redirect their behaviors.

Behaviors are often the way children express unmet needs and express to us what they need from us to help them.

If a student leaves the class every day during math...they are expressing they do not understand and are escaping to ovoid the feeling of frustration due to not knowing.

I had a student this week very sad and withdrawn upon entering class. He shared that he was late to school, missed breakfast, and right away was told he was walking too slow. He felt hungry, behind from being late, and then as he slowly walked (sad about being late and hungry) he was yelled at instead of being greeted warmly. 

I want to share a video with you that really speaks to connecting with students. Please take a few minutes to watch and reflect.

Every Opportunity

We have every opportunity to connect with our students. Connection matters. When we connect and build relationships, we build character, we build empathy, we build up students.

The idea of building connection leads me to reflecting on 2x10. Spend 2 minutes a day for 10 days with one student, connecting. Connecting about life, not school. I saw a post recently that was funny and spoke to connecting to with students in a new way.

We need connection. More now than ever. Our students have been in social isolation from a pandemic and honestly every day they choose to spend more time on a screen than with people in person.

We need to show them how to connect by connecting with them.

When we practice mindfulness with students we show them how to connect with their own feelings. Connecting with oneself can be a challenge. We need to teach students how to understand themselves, as well as others.

Mindfulness done with your students shows them that you want to connect with yourself and with them.

It only takes a couple of minutes to show a student that they matter.

It only takes a few minutes to have a daily mindfulness practice that matters.

Connect. 

The more we connect, the less we have to redirect and the easier it is done when we must. 

Finding Mindfulness in your Frustration

 As I sit here looking at a blank screen I am presented with frustration. I had a nearly finished post all typed up...and it didn't save. Time to practice my mindfulness in frustration.

This week I wanted to introduce you to Dr. Amishi Jha.

Dr. Amishi Jha is a professor of psychology at the University of Miami. She serves as the Director of Contemplative Neuroscience for the Mindfulness Research and Practice Initiative, which she co-founded in 2010. She received her Ph.D. from the University of California–Davis and postdoctoral training at the Brain Imaging and Analysis Center at Duke University. Dr. Jha’s work has been featured at NATO, the World Economic Forum, and The Pentagon. She has received coverage in the The New York Times, NPR, TIME, Forbes and more. (from her website)

I was recently introduced to Dr. Jha when she was a guest on one of the podcasts I enjoy. During this podcast Dr. Jha shared about a mindfulness practice she engaged in the previous night.

Dr. Jha reminded us, as we all know by now, that mindfulness is being aware in the present moment, without judgement. Sitting in a hotel room, nervous about the upcoming podcast Dr. Jha was struggling to sleep. She lay awake worried, nervous, and frustrated by the sound of the air conditioner. 

At the moment Dr. Jha realized she was frustrated by the sound of the air conditioner she quickly went into mindfulness mode. She embraced the sound. She told herself over and over that the air was on and making noise. She excepted it as reality and embraced its presence. Once she was able to do this the sound no longer irritated her and she was able to continue to calm her mind and body and sleep.

Now think about a student in your class. Do you see them moving all of the time, making a small noise, humming, talking to themselves, etc. ? I imagine this bothers you. Could you embrace it, accept it, and mindfully allow it to exist? 

I am not asking you to ignore screaming. That takes a lot of patience and practice. And is disruptive to the learning environment. I am talking about that one student who likes to tap a pencil, tap a foot, hum, or move around in their chair. 

Try mindfully accepting this event as occurring in your class. The more mindful you become the more at peace you will feel. 

Reduce your own anxiety and frustration. Mindfully accept the present moment, as is, without judgement.

A Needed Revisit

 My weekly fun podcast that I listen to is called Office Ladies. On occasion they will do a "Revisit" to a previously reviewed episode. Today I want to barrow this idea and revisit a topic I have previously reviewed. I wanted to first share a link. I strongly encourage you to read the information. I feel, more than it has been before, this applies to our students. The topic is attachment disorder and trauma in students. 

Open Letter to Educators...

Our students have lives beyond the classroom that we may never want to imagine. In a previous job I entered home of families who needed support. Homes that were filthy, bug infested, lacked food, lacked beds, and held several families or generations of a family. Children did not have their own space, often were required to watch younger children, and had home safety plans that required them to practice hitting the floor if they heard gun shots. 

Early home lives that lacked a parent, lacked connections, or lacked support may have lead to some concerns such as an attachment disorder or placed the children high in ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences). 

Now for our children lets add to their home lives, a pandemic, and all that has come with it. 

Our students need clear expectations, rules, and structure. They also need us to be consistent and compassionate. 

In the letter I attached, examples are given regarding conditional statements verses unconditional statements. We are also given one-liners to use to help avoid power struggles and give students options to take control and ownership of their actions.

We can give our students a sense of control with conditions and not engage in power struggles. 

When we think about having a mindful day we need to think about how each moment matters. If we are in the present we are not holding the past against a student. If we are in the present we are not judging what they might do in the future. Mindfulness is the present moment, as is, without judgement. 

Try some conditional statements and one-liners this week. A favorite of mine is "bummer." I also like to give the student a sense of control by giving two options; A: do what is asked and stay on track, B: continue with own choice and earn a consequence. Make it their choice and walk away. Don't engage in the power struggle. Keep the authority, mindfully. This will keep you calm and create your own mindful space. 

Our Words Hold Power and Meaning

Last week we reflected on our attitudes and how they should not change how we treat others. Along with our attitudes, our words matter.

It is easy to get caught up in how we are feeling and we forget the words we are using. 

For our younger students, the words that they hear, become the words that they say. For our older students the words that we say become the thoughts that they know and believe.

During the month of October I have been presenting bullying awareness and prevention education to students. Part of this year's lessons has focused on the words that we use when addressing the topic of bullying.

Use the word "Bully" is a label that can do more harm to someone who already is in need of help. While someone may be engaging in bullying activities, we need to ensure we are teaching them change is possible and they are not simply a label of their actions.

When we make the switch to "engaged in bullying behaviors" we show the student that their behaviors do not have define them. Behaviors are more easily changed than someone's belief about who they believe people think they are, or who they see themselves as.

Our students are not "bullies" our students engage in mean behaviors that we need to address and assess and ensue do not turn into bullying behaviors.

To help us remember to check our words there is a mindfulness practice called STOP.

S: Stop what you're doing (or about to say)

T: Take a breath

O: Observe your inner and outer worlds (observe what you might say)

P: Proceed (with the most mindful choice)

I want to share one last thought regarding our words and what small ears hear...

Keep Our Feelings Our Own

Take some time to read the Adam Grant quote....and then read it again! Our bad days should not hurt another person. When I talk with students about their feelings I always tell them something very similar. 

I say: You can invite others to your feelings. Asking them to help care for them or carry them. You should never throw your feelings at someone else. We do not have the right to force our feelings on others. We can only ask them to join us where we are at.

If you are having a bad day remember that it is your bad day, not someone elses. I would also challenge you to evaluate the feeling and see where it is coming from. It most likely isn't a bad day, but rather a moment that triggered the emotions of hurt, anger, frustration, confusion, annoyance, etc.

As adults we have a better ability understand and process our feelings. We need to take extra time and extra care with all of our students. Their frontal lobes are still forming. The Prefrontal Cortex is still developing. We need to notice the emotions of our students and not be afraid to step in and step up to their needs. 

Some feelings are easier than others to assess and address. When we have the tools and take the time we become emotion superheroes to our students.

One of the best ways to start learning to recognize the emotions of your students to start with your own. 

This week I challenge you to take time to identify your own emotions as they arise. Research into the brain has taught us that when we take time to say the feeling we are experiencing we actually interrupt the feeling.

Our brains are designed to utilize various parts alone. When we have our Amygdala engaged (our feelings, especially Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Faint) we can no longer engage our Prefrontal Cortex. To help assess an emotion we need to disengage the Amygdala but using the Prefrontal Cortex. Saying your emotion will accomplish this task.

Find a Mood Meter and say "I am feeling...."

Then ask yourself if this feeling is Hurting or Helping.

If it is hurting, ask who do I need or what do I need to help move through and process this feeling and move on from this feeling.

Studies show that the more we learn to identify our own feelings the better we become at noticing the feelings of others.

After you start doing the emotional check ins with yourself, start some with your students. Ask them to take a quick minute to check in with themselves.

 

Growing Kindnes, Stopping Bullying

 

Adam Grant is a psychologist, professor at the University of Pennsylvania, author, and a parent. 

 

As a parent, Adam believes in asking children "how or who did you help today" at the end of each school day. He doesn't ask them about academics or behavior for themselves, but rather their behavior regarding others.

 

As educators and student support this is a mindfulness we can adopt and utilize to build kindness and reduce bullying.

 

We are entering into Bullying Awareness and Prevention Month. Each year during October we take time to educate our students and staff about what is and is not bullying. It is important to use the correct language and definitions 

 

We need to take time to define what is and is not an act of bullying. We also need to take time to teach students to use the term "this student is bullying me" not "this student is a bully" or "the bully hurt me." When we teach students to see the student as a fellow student and person first we open their minds and heart to compassion and understanding. When we allow students to call people bullies we take away an identity and replace it with the idea that an action defines everything.

 

Take time this coming month to promote kindness, compassion, and standing up for others. When we make kindness the norm students are more likely to report the unkind behavior and recognize the positive behaviors.

 

Mindfulness has many great mediations and mindful moments that help us to see, share, and spread kindness and reduce hate. 

 

When we were virtual I would end every day with two questions for the students who met with me: What did you do today to help others? What did you do today that mattered (to others)?

 

When we pay it forward, show random acts of kindness, and make kindness the norm we start reducing the hurt and hate that is spread. 

 

How we treat others matter. How do we treat each student? How do our students treat each other?

Understanding Mental Health of Students and Connecting Mindfulness

 Last week in the mindfulness at home blog for families, I talked about social media and metal health. This past weekend while listening to one of my many podcasts which help me find topics for this blog I was again presented with the idea of youth and mental health.

On Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard (now on Spotify, if you want to listen), Dr. Harold Koplewicz, psychiatrist and founder of Child Mind Institute, spoke on youth and mental health.

In this podcast Dr. Koplewicz spoke on the 20% increase in youth suicide over the last four year. The yearly number of suicides is 6,120. Dr. Koplewicz spoke on how every news station would jump to talk about an increase like this if it were Covid, but teen suicide is overlooked.

Last week an article came out presenting information regarding social media and youth self-perception and mental health. Social media has created a negative impact on the mental health of our students.

During the pandemic we have been asked to stay home and save lives. Unfortunately, for our youth staying home caused a concern for their mental health and lives.

Dr. Koplewicz in this interview talks about ways to support students with mental health. He talked about identifying feelings (Mood Meter) and calming the Amygdala (Mindfulness). 

It may seem an uphill battle when it comes to mental health. On average parents wait 2-8 years from the onset of symptoms before they seek help from a professional. You feel as if you are left asking what you can really do and how do you teach a whole calls while focusing on the students most in need. It's reported that 1 in 6 children have a diagnosed mental health concern...and about 2/3 of children in need of a diagnosis are currently going untreated.

Once equipped with information we can start to work on how we can best support our students.

As Dr. Koplewicz shared we can use mindfulness to start making a lasting impact.

Gifting our students with mindfulness is one of the best gifts to give. It a gift they can carry with them throughout their lives. 

This week try taking a mindful moment to show students compassion.

Don't forget to take care of yourself. 

I wanted to end this week's post by reminding you to utilize Inner Explorer. If you do some looking at your home page, they have added mindfulness for Educators. Take a few minutes to explore. I have been listening and they are as wonderful as the mindfulness for our students.

Mindful Wisdom

Did you know that you can tie mindfulness into your moral focus?

In a 2016 article, Matthew Brensilver, Ph.D presented research from two psychiatrist out of the University of California San Diego and then linked it to mindfulness. The psychiatrists research was on the Neurobiology of Wisdom. In his article, Brensilver broke down the six components of wisdom and linked each to mindfulness.

The 6 components of Wisdom:

1. Prosocial attitudes and behaviors

2. Emotional Homeostasis

3. Self-Understanding

4. Value Tolerance 

5. Acknowledgement and dealing effectively with uncertainty and ambiguity

6. Social Decision-making

The first tenant of wisdom is prosocial attitudes and behaviors, Brensilver states that mindfulness is defined by prosocial values, such as heartfulness. Jon Kabat-Zinn, who is seen as the father of modern mindfulness, states that heartfulness and kindness are woven deep into the fabric of mindfulness. A prosocial value is kindness and Kabat-Zinn states that mindfulness begins and ends with kindness.

As we explore wisdom this month we can link the kindness of mindfulness to wisdom. 

Research again and again presents examples of mindfulness enhancing emotional homeostasis.

Last week we talked about purpose and how a purpose helps us maintain an emotional homeostasis. Purpose can be seen as a kind of mindfulness. Mindfulness at its core is being present in the moment and aware of the moment. When we are present we can create and follow a purpose. Our purpose helps balance us and creates an emotional homeostasis.

When we practice mindfulness we are better able to gain a deeper sense of self-understanding, which is the third part to wisdom. In recent years neuroscientist Michael Posner, and others, have begun to discover that the more mindfulness is practiced the more self-aware we become and we gain a deeper sense of self-understanding.

As I introduce mindfulness to students I explain that mindfulness is; being present in the moment, without judgment. When we are better able to live without judgment toward ourselves we are then better able to build the wisdom skill of value tolerance. Value tolerance is the ability to see, accept, and embrace the ideas of others values.

Uncertainty happens and is out of our control. How we acknowledge it and react to it, is within our control. The wisdom value of handling uncertainty can be supported by the practice of mindfulness. Learning to accept our feelings and situations as they occur helps to gain wisdom regarding what we can and cannot control and how to handle the things we cannot control.

The last part to wisdom is social decision-making. Research shows that our lives are mostly social and thus filled with social decision-making. Studies also show that when we engage in a 5-minute daily mindfulness exercise we increase our self-understand and gain a better ability to understand others. When we are able to understand others and their emotions we are better able to make wise choices regarding interactions with others. Mindfulness increases positive social decision-making. 

If you'd like to read the full article the link is below.

Wisdom and Mindfulness

Starting with a Purpose

 We strive to do better. We set a goal. We accomplish the goal. We are proud. We feel good. 

Now what? 

Psychologist and professor at Cornell, Anthony Burrow, has researched the idea of living with a purpose verses setting goals to achieve. 

When researching purpose, Dr. Burrow asked just a couple of questions: 

1.   Do you FEEL your life has a clear direction?
2.   Do you FEEL your daily activities are engaging or important?

The key is the word FEEL. How do you perceive your life? 

This research isn't telling us not to ever set a goal, instead, it is helping us map out our lives. We need to feel we are driven by a purpose that each day we work toward fulfilling. Goals have obstacles to over come (reflect back on WOOP). A sense of purpose is a compass for general life.

Finding and living out a sense of purpose has been found to create a buffer for life's stressors. Purpose evens out emotional tones. A life of purpose creates a directed life, an aim toward something greater. Purpose has been linked to longevity and likeability.  Purpose predicts health and well-being.

Let's start this school year with a purpose, not a goal. Our purpose gives us a direction for the whole year, something to strive to live out each day. 

“Purpose is a forward-looking directionality, an intention to do something in the world, it’s different than a goal, which can be accomplished. Wanting to be a father is a goal because it is achievable. But to be a great father is more of an intention than an achievement. On some days, one might come closer to the ideal than others, but it is never a completed task.” -Anthony Burrow

Purpose has been found to affect the way we interact with the world around us.

Purpose helps to stave off reactivity to high emotion situations.

Purpose.

Let's stop and ask ourselves the questions regarding purpose in our lives. Let's cultivate a sense of purpose. How do you feel about your direction in life? Are your daily activities engaging?

The greater our sense of purpose, the more we can help our students find theirs.

Use a mindful moment to ask your students to consider their purpose for the day/school year/life. Help them cultivate a purpose. Not a goal to achieve but a focus to strive toward daily.

What is your purpose?

Do you feel a sense of direction in your life?

Are your activities engaging and important (to you)?

Come to work each day with a purpose, not just a goal. Don't come with a goal to simply make it through the day. Strive toward a purpose to educate better today than yesterday. Your sense of purpose will show and your students will be drawn to you. Your purpose will help you keep calm in the times of stress.

Purpose.

Find it. Embrace it. Share it.

Mindfulness is being present in this moment. In this moment, what is your purpose?

Mindfully Starting A New School Year

 

This quote from Lewis Carroll's, Alice in Wonderland, may feel all too real after the first day of school this year. To help ground us a little more in ourselves, we should take time to be mindful. Mindfulness is simply about being present, aware, and accepting of your current self, space, and time. Enter your classroom, take a pause, and take in the peaceful sights and sounds before it all begins. Take a moment to stop by each desk or look at your class list and send some Metta (loving-kindness) wishes to your students. Set your mind for the positive. Breathe. Breathe deep. Center yourself on how you want to see the day go and then with a deep breath in and out release all expectations and be ready to accept the day as it comes.

This year, as with the previous years, I will do my best to weekly create a new blog for you to read and reflect. If you've been here and have read my blogs, you know I love my mindfulness, psychology, and growth pod casts. I listen to them on the way to and from dropping my youngest off at daycare. I utilize the information to dive deep into new research and then come here and provide support to all of you.

If you ever want to explore some good pod casts, check out: Hidden Brain, A Slight Change of Plans, The Happiness Lab, and Armchair Experts on Experts. 

Take a deep breath and remember, we are in this together. Leave comments and reach out. I'm only a text, email, or door away!

Joyful Anticipation

 When you take time to explore other languages you learn that there are untranslatable words. Words that in English are full phrases. One such word is the German word Vorfreude. 

Vorfreude in German can be broken down into Vor, which means before and Freude, which means Joy. When you place them together the German word Vorfreude means Joyful Anticipation. 

This time of year our students are filled with vorfreude. We too experience vorfreude. As the end the school year draws near we are filled with joyful anticipation; vorfreude.

This can lead to distractions, a longing to be outside and done with school, and a desire to do little to no work.

Mindfulness can help us with experiencing anticipation in a controlled way. There is a mindfulness practice called; Anticipation Meditation. 

This mindfulness practice helps us recall a previous time of anticipation and the fruition of that anticipation. 

Perhaps you observe your students becoming increasingly unable to focus due to vorfreude. Take some time to acknowledge this feeling. Mindfulness teaches us to not ignore a feeling in the hopes that it will go away, but rather to accept the feeling, experience it without judgement, and then let it pass.

Acknowledge the joyful anticipation of summer vacation. Ask the students to relate this feeling to another time they joyfully waited for and wanted something. Then ask them how it felt when that joyful moment finally came. Take some time to explore this in a mindful way.

Start with a calm, quiet, and peaceful environment. Maybe dim or turn off your lights. Ask students to sit and listen to their breathing as they relax their bodies in their chairs or on the floor. Then ask them to bring to mind a time of anticipation. Ask them to recall how it felt to wait for something great. Get the students to feel it again and notice the sensations in their bodies. Ask if their breath quickens, if they feel elated, and if they can bring to mind that excitement. Encourage them to deepen the connection and take their minds back to the time the anticipated moment arrived. Was the moment as good or greater than the anticipation? Did the moment fill them with immeasurable joy?

Give the students a few minutes to live in the moment. This type of mindfulness is called Savoring. Recalling and relieving a moment of great joy and happiness.

After a couple of minutes encourage your students to take a deep breath and release the moment back into the space of memory and time. Let students know they call recall joyful moments again later.

After practicing this mindfulness, using it to recall a past event, talk with students about how to use it to stay in the present moment. 

Our vorfreude fills our bodies with endorphins and helps to enhance our physical and mental wellbeing. 

We do not need to deny our students' anticipation and longing for the end of school, instead we can use it as a mindful moment. 

Defy Expectations and Show Compassion

This week I wanted to take a look at a topic I present on the parent blog last week. Human behavior and it's complexity. 

Our students are complex and some of them we know well and can predict how they will behave in a given situation. Other students, no matter how well we know them, we just do not know how they will react or behave.

Psychologist and Nobel Peace Prize recipient Daniel Kahneman dedicated much of his career and life to the study of human behave. As a child, before he even know his life path would be human behavior, Kahneman had an experience which led him to consider the complexity of human behavior.  

Daniel Kahneman was a young Jewish boy raised in Nazi occupied Paris, France. 

When asked to write his biography for the Nobel, Daniel wrote about an experience he had at the age of seven. Kahneman shared that during this time in his life, being a Jew during World War Two, he was forced to wear a yellow Star of David on his clothing. He also had curfews imposed on him. One day while out playing with a Christian friend, he realized he was out past curfew. In an attempt to make it home safely Daniel turned his sweater inside-out and began to walk a mile home.

As he walked home Daniel saw what he was taught to fear the most; an SS officer. They were the worst of the worst.

The SS officer called Daniel over to him. Daniel knew he had to follow the directions, but was nervous the SS officer would noticed his inside-out clothes and spot the star.

The SS office began to talk in German as he pulled out his wallet. The officer showed Daniel a picture of a young boy, about his age. The officer's son Daniel guessed. The officer then hugged Daniel, gave him money, and sent him on his way home.

This encounter could have meant certain death for Daniel, instead it taught him that his mother was right all of the times she told him "people are complex."

Our students are complex. Think for a moment the view some student may have of school and you. 

I had a middle school student come to my office this week and share something that had happened in class. He had made some poor choices based on the poor choices of another student. As he shared that interaction with me he faced away from me. When he was finished he turned around and asked if I had anything to say. I simply answered, no. He then, very perplexed asked, "you aren't disappointed in me?" Again, I answered very simply, no.

This student was ready for disappointment. When he was met with understanding, compassion, and empathy, he was at a loss and relieved. We then were able to talk through his choice, why he made it, and what he could learn from the experience. He knew he let his anger take control instead of him controlling his anger. He has had practice learning to handle his emotions. He shared that he has taken anger management classes. He knows SEL and Mindfulness. 

By the time the student left my office he was able to smile and express gratitude for a safe place that makes him feel wanted, included, and helps him talk through situations without judgment. 

I share these stories to help us take a look at human behavior. 

Daniel Kahneman in an interview on the podcast Experts on Experts, when a comment was made about Hitler, responded, "even Hitler liked dogs and babies." A man who could be bitter and filled with hate took a moment to recognized the humanity even in the worst of humanity. 

The student in my office this week could have left my office feeling worse about himself but my behavior surprised him for the good. Like the SS office, I defied an expectation and made someone's worry dissipate. 

Take a moment to think about your students. Are you showing them compassion, empathy, and deifying their expectations? 

Mindfulness teaches us to be in the moment. What, in this moment, can you do to show someone you care? What student needs to feel safe in the school? What student needs to feel wanted in your classroom? There is a quote that says "The children who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways." Have you returned their unloving requests with love? Or have you met the expectation that they believe adults don't care?

As we inch closer and closer to the end of the school year we have students longing for summer break. We also have students who know what it will mean to be home and wish to be at school. Taking time the next couple of weeks to teach some extra mindfulness may be equipping your students with coping skills for the summer ahead.

 

Taking Mindfulness Outdoors

 

This is a great time of year to explore outdoor mindfulness. This week I utilized a morning check in time with a friend to engage in outdoor mindful watching. A great outdoor mindfulness is to use your senses, such as, sight and hearing.

My second grade friend and I sat outside and for one minute sat quietly seeking out three things that we have never noticed before, were unique, or interested us. After we shared with each other. We also took some time to sit and listen to sounds. We were able to hear a variety of birds, cars, and an airplane. 

One of my favorite mindfulness activities involves bubbles. Bubbles are a great way to teach breathing, patience, and observation. For this mindfulness I provide a student with bubbles. I ask them to hold the bottle of bubbles and not start until we talk through the mindfulness activity. I then explain that after we blow the bubbles, we do not touch them. There is a no popping rule. Bubble mindfulness is about a deep breath in and slow breath out, sitting still, and watching the bubbles. It is an opportunity to ask students to watch were the bubbles go, what colors they see in the bubbles, how long does it take them to pop, and how many they were able to blow with one breath.

Other great outdoor mindful activities are to take a walk or do a scavenger hunt. A quiet walk, focusing on each step. A slow walk to observer and enjoy the surroundings as you move. Encourage students to think about the way their feet feel as they walk, do they feel wind, is the sun out, is it cloudy... You can pause to watch the clouds. You can also have a list of things to observe or find as a scavenger hunt. Have them observe a flower, pick a shape for a cloud, notice a bug, etc...

This time of year is a great time to be outside and practice mindfulness. Get students up, out, and moving. Movement and exercise is a way to boost mood. Fresh air and sunshine is a great way to boost mood. And mindfulness helps us be present, evaluate feelings, and find a way to be positive throughout the day. 

Laugh a Little

Have you laughed today?

Research shows that the average 4 year old laughs 300 times a day.

It takes the average 40 year old 2.5 months to laugh that much.

In one poll, when asked about laughing today, the average 23 year old answered 'no.' In fact, across adult age levels the answer did not become 'yes' until age 70-80. 

Our students want to laugh and unfortunately over the span of our lives we have been taught to laugh less. This creates a humor gap.

Studies show that laughing is important to our health. Laughing can be an act of mindfulness.

As you work toward the end of the year and you wrap up learning and present test after test it is important to stop and breath in deep and let out a laugh. Mindful Laughter

You can start a laughter mindfulness by introducing a smiling mindfulness. When we smile and laugh our brain begins releasing endorphins. Endorphins are those fun free happiness chemicals that flood our brains and make up feel good. The act of laughing can also help boost your immune systems by reducing your levels of cortisol. Laughing also releases the chemical oxytocin. The really cool thing is that these chemicals are all released at the same time. This makes your brain feel like it is exercising and meditating all at the same time.

Rates of depression due to the pandemic create an great need for us to step back and take time to laugh. 

Starting a mindful laughter practice can also be a good way to teach your students school appropriate humor. Our students are bombarded with displays of "humor" on the internet, on TV, and in movies. The humor they are presented with is often offensive, hurtful, and inappropriate. I recently spoke with a student who had a friend call her a derogatory name for a female. When confronted with this the girl stated it was a joke. In fact, the girl told others that it was an inside joke. The girl dealing with the name calling told me "how can it be an inside joke when I wasn't in on it?" 

I spoke recently with a classroom on humor in school and shared with the students that we need to be sure our humor does not hurt others. It isn't funny when we make others feel bad. Humor should not hurt. The joke I use as an example is one shared by a third grader a couple of years ago. The joke goes like this "Want to hear a joke?? It's about pizza....*pause*... never mind I can't tell you, it's too cheesy" With this joke I get great laugher, groans, and smiles. After the joke I always ask, was anyone hurt by this joke? 

We need humor. Our students need humor.

School days can seem long. The school year feels unending. And tests....let's not even talk about how those make teachers and students feel.

Have you tried taking time to laugh with your students? 

I remember my high school band director using humor to lighten the mood when we had to play the same thing over and over and over again. He would acknowledge the mundane and make himself the joke "I know, band directors famous last words....one more time..." We can show humor even in the things that have to be done. We had to practice until we knew the music. For marching band it had to be memorized. There is no way around playing the music over and over. To lighten the mood and break the tension, Mr. Anderson would make a joke. We would laugh. And then we got back to playing. 

Your students need to laugh. You need to laugh.

Mindfulness is about being present in the moment. The more we can learn this ability the better attention we can give to life. 

Taking some time to let your students laugh will help them feel happy and wake their brain. You can help them get out the laughter at an appropriate time, thus helping them focus at the right time too.

In a study conducted by researcher Avner Ziv it was found that students who were taught a lesson using humor where better able to recall information. In fact, those students who learned with humor did better on tests, out scoring those who were taught a lesson without humor. 

Today I was introduced to another helpful podcast. Hidden Brain. The episode I picked to listen to was on humor. If you have some time listen to the episode Humor Us.

I hope that you take time this week to find humor and share it with your students. To help get you started I am sharing one funny movie clip and one funny meme. Feel free to comment with something funny to share. Let's explore the mindful benefits of laughter. Humor me ;) 

I Sail There is something just simple and funny about this clip. It is a movie clip my husband and I often reference for a laugh.

 

Rituals for Motivation and Mindfulness

As we begin teacher appreciate week I wanted to take time to do a mindfulness post just for us. I hope that you find inspiration in this post. 

When you think of the word Ritual a variety of definitions may come to mind. For some it is spiritual or religious. For others they simply think of a habit or a routine. While rituals for some become a habit or routine and for some are associated with a belief; that is not all a ritual is or should be to us.

This weekend while listing to The Happiness Lab: Happiness Lessons of the Ancients, The Torah I was introduced to the idea of rituals playing a deeper role in our happiness. Then this morning on my way to work I was listening to another podcast, one that is usually just for fun, and again was presented with the idea of rituals and how they can help us. In The Office Ladies Bonus Episode: Monday Motivation the question was posed "Are you a Monday Motivation or a Friday Feeling person?" As the ladies explore this for themselves they shared rituals they often engage in to help with focus, relaxing, or just to stay on top of their daily lives. This week I wanted to share a little from each of these podcasts and pose questions about your rituals and how this can be a kind of mindfulness.

In the Happiness Lab episode Dr. Laurie Santos talks with Sarah Hurwitz. Sarah was a speech writer for President and Frist Lady Obama and author of the book, Here All Along. In this episode they talk about how Sarah found a deeper connection to life and learned to slow down when she began to explore Judaism and follow the rituals her faith asks/commands believers to follow and engage in. Dr. Santos used this idea of ritual connection to explore the deeper sense of happiness we can experience in our lives.

Sarah Hurwitz talks about rituals in her faith that are very much a foundation of mindfulness. Judaism asks believers to be grateful as soon as they wake up. This is very similar to having a daily gratitude practice. Sarah shares that for her faith it goes deeper and Jews are asked to continue to find gratitude throughout the day in all things they experience, thus asking them to always be present in all that they do. This is another mindfulness ritual. Mindfulness asks us to be in the moment and notice. Mindfulness asks us to show and experience gratitude.

You do not have to be Jewish to find beauty in the rituals of the faith. I remember years ago reading the Mitch Albom book, have a little faith, and being in deep awe of the rituals of the Jewish faith. Sarah talks in the podcast about how when you do not feel like engaging in a ritual, such as going to see a grieving family, that is when you need to do it the most. Once the act of faith is put into action the doer experiences the blessings from the act of ritual.

What act do you avoid doing but know it would support another person? What ritual could bring a deep sense of awe to your day and life? Doing this act could help you experience a deeper sense of gratitude, compassion, and open you to connection. This is a connection mindfulness. This is an act of well-being.

There are times the books I am reading or the podcast I am listening to fills me with such inspiration it is almost as if those podcasts and book write a blog post for me. This week is one of those weeks.

This morning on my way in to work I started an Office Ladies Motivation Monday bonus episode. I expected it to be full of The Office humor, funny tidbits about the ladies lives, and the general workings of the podcast. As I finish the episode I am sure these are things I will hear, but surprisingly it all started with the idea of ritual.

Angela Kinsey (who played Angela Martin) and Jenna Fisher (who played Pam Beesly Halpert) started the episode by answering the question "Are you a Motivation Monday or a Feeling Friday person?" 

Jenna talked about being a Motivation Monday and her lists. She went on to share that she will set a timer to read for 15 minutes and a timer to journal for 15 minutes. While she reads she keeps a notebook by her side and she will jot down thoughts as they come to her head. She lets the thought exist, writes it down, and then feels the release from the pull of that thought. 

Did you hear that mindfulness? 

Mindfulness teaches us to let a thought (or feeling) exist, watch it, accept it, and then let it go and move on.

Angela talked about being a Feeling Friday. She shared about how she sits on her back porch and has what her dad used to call "a thinking spot." In this spot she sits calmly and quietly and allows thoughts to exist.

As the ladies shared they talked about trying the ritual of the other. Angela said she liked idea of keeping a notebook by her in her thinking spot. 

This opened my mind to the idea of sharing rituals. Sharing mindfulness.

What is a ritual you find helpful, comforting, or inspiring? What is a mindfulness that brings fulfillment, peace, and joy to your day?

I encourage you to take some time to think about these questions. Maybe take some time to listen to one of the podcasts.  Then return here and leave a comment with a ritual or mindfulness. Perhaps your ritual could inspire someone to tweak, create, start, or refresh a ritual of their own. 

I'll get us started.

I have a mindfulness practice of morning gratitude. I sit in the quiet of my dining room with a cup of coffee and I use the app ReWi and I do a daily gratitude list. I list three things (at least) I am grateful for from the previous day and that morning. I also try to really spend time with the why. This leads to another well-being mindfulness called Savoring. Savoring is taking a gratitude and really exploring the details, the why, and recalling and reexperiencing the feelings related to the gratitude.

After listening to the Happiness Lab podcast I am intrigued by the idea of a ritual of gratitude. I want to work on experiencing and noticing it more throughout the day.

Mindfulness Matters

 

The best way to practice BEING the CALM is by setting a good mindfulness practice for your self.

As we round the corner and head toward 6 weeks left we may all be feeling Spring Fever and the desire to be outside and ready to be done with school. A couple of years back this meme came to mind when I thought about how school staff feel this time of year...

We just want to skip testing and skip to the end and have summer. Students and staff alike feel it this time of year.

We all need help feeling motivated to wake up when the alarm goes off, get out of bed, dress, and drive to school. 

Studies show that having a good mindful, well-being routine, can help you stay focused, be healthy, and have the positive outlook you need to make it to the end, instead of skipping to the end.

In the course The Science of Well-Being, Dr. Laurie Santos shares studies on sleeping well, eating well, exercising daily, having a daily gratitude practice, extending kindness to others, creating connections, and having a daily mindful mediation practice. 

Starting your own mindfulness and well-being routine will  create a base for you to then be able to teach it to your students. Not just teach it to your students, but practice with them. If you want your students to become involved you need to lead by example. 

Remember if you need help with classroom mindfulness, I am resource, Inner Explorer is a resource, and I have a resource library of mindfulness cards, games, and books.

A fun mindfulness to do is the 5 senses. I would suggest saving the taste mindfulness for after May 13th when Ramadan ends. You could start with sight. Take students outside on a nice day and ask them to sit and observe the world around them. Ask them to take deep breaths and try to notice something new. Then move on to sound. Outside is another great place for a sound mindfulness. Again ask them to sit and be still and listen for all sounds they can hear. 

Next try touch. You could make small bags for each student and place something smooth inside, something bumpy, something fluffy, something cold (plastic ice cubs), something slimy, etc. Ask students to silently sit with eyes closed as they explore the bag with only a hand. 

Then explore smell. This one could be done outside or maybe as a silent walk through the building to note the different smells as they walk.

Last, is the fun tasting mindfulness. Bring a few options to try. Guide students to use other senses first encouraging them to look at the color, shape and size. Ask students to smell and touch and note everything they can about the food. Then ask them to place it on their tongue and hold it there. Does it make you mouth water, does it make your mouth hot, is it spicy, is it sour? How does it feel in your mouth, roll it around without chewing. Then chew. Slowly. Does it crumble? Is it chewing? Is it crunchy? 

Mindfulness can be an exploration and fun. It's about being completely in the present.

Find some time each day to create a practice for yourself and then find time to engage your students. 

Bummer Choice...But Mindfulness is Here for You

This week I wanted to share a resource I found a few years back. Parts of it has been shared in the past, but it would benefit us all to review some of the information.

The link I have posted below is directed toward working with students with RAD, Reactive Attachment Disorder. That being said, it has helpful information for working with all students. It is also important to know that studies are finding that at least 5 students per class are dealing with a form of an attachment disorder. We may not know which 5. Your class may have more than 5.

Open Letter to Educators

One thing that has long stood out to me in this information is this quote : "Remember that these educational strategies should ALWAYS be applied with empathy and NEVER anger. The objective is to return the units of responsibility back to the student, not to punish the student." 

"Return the units of responsibility back to the student"

Are you taking responsibility for your students actions or have you given responsibility back to the students? 

Mindfulness can help you center your feelings and frustrations and help you process situations better. Reflect on our last blog and Navy Seal breathing. Before making a choice take deep breaths. Before dealing with a situation with a student, take a deep breath.

Other great information this resource shares is utilizing one-liners with students. Be direct. Don't engage in the negative. Praise the positive.

Bummer choice. 

I respect you too much to argue with you.

How sad.

I'll be glad to listen when your voice is as soft as mine.

When we use mindful ways to set boundaries with students we allow space for social emotional growth. As we limit the negative communicate and eliminate the power struggle we allow positive praise to grow. 

Take a minute to think about your class. You may know the stories of some students, but there are students whos stories you may never know. When thinking about our students and their home history it is important to understand you may be facing a student whos brain has been shaped by trauma. The video below is a five minute chance to help you think about how your students may be facing each day.

Brain and Trauma

Think about how to clearly set limits, boundaries, and rules that provide safety and structure. It can be overwhelming to consider the potential for trauma in your classroom. Trauma often leads to attachment disorders and much more. 

More and more studies are showing that mindfulness, social emotional learning, and the science of well-being all help change the brain for the positive. 

Your students who have brains built by trauma do not have to stay living in survival mode. You can be their guide to a healthier way to interact with their world.

Practicing mindfulness daily will not take away from your teaching time, but give it back. The time you spend redirecting, refocusing, and reframing events in the classroom will reduce as your students learn self-regulation, social cues, and mindful self-reflection. 

The brain is amazing. It is adaptable, changeable, and growable. You are amazing. You can change a students brain. You can help a students brain adapt. You can grow a students brain.